"YouÂ’ve got to look your best tonight, you tubby little parasite
‘Cause there’s a lovely lady and she’s waiting for you.
And though her pretty face may seem
A special personÂ’s wettest dream
Before you get to see it there are things you must do.
WeÂ’ll try a tie, and boutonniere of yellow.
A rose that shows that youÂ’re a classy fellow.
With a posh panache of Jefferson at Monticello,
Busting out a mile with style.
I know you just canÂ’t wait to stare
At all that luscious orange hair
But boy before you touch a single curl
You must impress that ultra boominÂ’,
All-consuminÂ’, poorly groominÂ’
Down syndrome girl.
On any normal day you reek
As if youÂ’re on a farting streak,
Your fingers up your nose and you are dripping with drool.
But if you want a ladyÂ’s love,
YouÂ’re better off by smelling of
A gentlemanÂ’s cologne instead of sneakers and stool.
A squirt, a spurt of something just for Ellen
And youÂ’ll see that she will find you so compellinÂ’.
And she does because the only smell that sheÂ’ll be smellinÂ’
WonÂ’t be cominÂ’ from your bum.
You want to take that little whore
And spin her on the dancing floor
But boy, before you do a single twirl –
You must impress that effervescing,
Self-possessing, no-BS-ing
Down syndrome girl.
Her eyes are emerald portals to a secret land of love
And her smile is like the sweetest summer flower.
Her kiss is so inviting, and her hugs are so delighting.
And what makes them really nice is that theyÂ’ve got a little spice
Because theyÂ’re tighter than a vice and they go on for an hour.
My boy, between the two of us weÂ’ll get you on that shorty bus.
And then youÂ’re going to take it for a whirl.
Now go impress that super-thrilling,
Wish-fulfilling, Yoo-Hoo-spilling,
Ultra-swinging, boner-bringing,
Daily singing, ding-a-linging
Stupefying, fortifying,
As-of-Monday-shoelace-tying,
Stimulating, titillating,
Kitty-cat impersonating,
Mega-rocking, pillow talking,
Just a little crooked walking,
Poorly pouting, boobies sprouting,
For some reason always shouting,
Fascinating, captivating,
Happiness and joy creating
Down syndrome girl