presonorek
Gold Member
I came across the concept of attachment styles just a few months ago. Supposedly this theory has been around since the 1960s. I thought of copying information about each attachment style but I wanted to make this thread a lot more informal. Let me see if I can describe each attachment style as I see it. You can look up resources on the internet if you want to discuss this in more depth. I currently have the book titled, "Attached" by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller. The subtitle is, "The new science of adult attachment and how it can help you find-and keep-love". This is how I see the 4 attachment styles:
Secure - This is someone who feels stable in their relationship and doesn't really worry too much about ebbs and flows. A secure person addresses their needs and concerns comfortably. A secure person can pick up on cues about the needs and concerns of their partner without catastrophizing or worrying if they are wanted or if they are being too much trouble.
Anxious - This is someone who is frequently worried that they are not appreciate by their companion and seeks for frequent reassurance. The anxious person worries that expressing their needs and concerns will push their partner away because of them being too much. The anxious person attaches quickly and intensely early on in the relationship and can often make their partner feel suffocated or overwhelmed.
Dismissive avoidant - This is the most discussed attachment style all over the internet. The dismissive avoidant denies that they have any negative feelings both to themselves and to others. The dismissive avoidant is often perceived as disinterested due to their reluctance to get close because they view closeness as a threat to their autonomy or an opportunity for painful disappointment. The dismissive avoidant often needs space which can sometimes be days or weeks which can be confusing or offensive to their partners.
Anxious avoidant - This is the most confusing attachment style. The anxious avoidant loves to feel valued but has a difficult time believing that they are loveable. To deal with this confusion an anxious avoidant sometimes disappears emotionally through self erasure downplaying their needs and concerns to be petty and a burden to others. This attachment style usually acts in very manipulative ways to get what they want because they have equal inclination to pursue and to avoid as strategies to get what they want. They usually do get what they want but go about it in a very chaotic and unpredictable way. This is the rarest, most versatile, and most confusing attachment style.
I hope someone else knows a little more about this stuff because it makes for interesting conversation especially for us single folks.
Secure - This is someone who feels stable in their relationship and doesn't really worry too much about ebbs and flows. A secure person addresses their needs and concerns comfortably. A secure person can pick up on cues about the needs and concerns of their partner without catastrophizing or worrying if they are wanted or if they are being too much trouble.
Anxious - This is someone who is frequently worried that they are not appreciate by their companion and seeks for frequent reassurance. The anxious person worries that expressing their needs and concerns will push their partner away because of them being too much. The anxious person attaches quickly and intensely early on in the relationship and can often make their partner feel suffocated or overwhelmed.
Dismissive avoidant - This is the most discussed attachment style all over the internet. The dismissive avoidant denies that they have any negative feelings both to themselves and to others. The dismissive avoidant is often perceived as disinterested due to their reluctance to get close because they view closeness as a threat to their autonomy or an opportunity for painful disappointment. The dismissive avoidant often needs space which can sometimes be days or weeks which can be confusing or offensive to their partners.
Anxious avoidant - This is the most confusing attachment style. The anxious avoidant loves to feel valued but has a difficult time believing that they are loveable. To deal with this confusion an anxious avoidant sometimes disappears emotionally through self erasure downplaying their needs and concerns to be petty and a burden to others. This attachment style usually acts in very manipulative ways to get what they want because they have equal inclination to pursue and to avoid as strategies to get what they want. They usually do get what they want but go about it in a very chaotic and unpredictable way. This is the rarest, most versatile, and most confusing attachment style.
I hope someone else knows a little more about this stuff because it makes for interesting conversation especially for us single folks.
