Trump Says His Position On Abortion Is Whichever One Will Get Him Elected

[Votto]

PALM BEACH, FL — In a brilliant political maneuver designed to ensure he wins the election, former President Donald Trump said his position on abortion is whichever one will get him elected.

Though abortion has long been one of the most divisive issues in the nation, Trump deftly maneuvered himself into a position to simultaneously woo voters who will never support him and alienate portions of his most loyal base.

"My stance can't be any clearer," Trump said in a post to his Truth Social account. "I am in complete and total agreement with each voter, whatever their individual view may be. If you believe abortion is murder, so do I. If you think there are cases in which it is acceptable, so do I. If you think there's nothing wrong with it, neither do I. As everyone can see, I feel very strongly about this issue. Strong convictions. The strongest. So strong. I am becoming all things to all people so that by all means I may get elected. MAGA!"


Staunch conservatives expressed outrage. "Really disappointing," said one Republican voter. "I'm shocked that a guy who wants to get elected would say things that are designed to broaden his appeal and minimize one of the most effective arguments his opponents have against him."

At publishing time, all disappointed Trump supporters had announced they would all still vote for Trump.

 

[Auld Phart]

just like every other politician

 

[MarcATL]

just like every other politician

Yep folks, this one's a goner....

 

[okfine]

You finally figured out Trump is a POS politician.

 

[Greenbeard]

There's an absolute certainty this Bible salesman's election would lead to national abortion, IVF, and Mifepristone bans.

 

[JackOfNoTrades]

View attachment 929139

PALM BEACH, FL — In a brilliant political maneuver designed to ensure he wins the election, former President Donald Trump said his position on abortion is whichever one will get him elected.

Though abortion has long been one of the most divisive issues in the nation, Trump deftly maneuvered himself into a position to simultaneously woo voters who will never support him and alienate portions of his most loyal base.

"My stance can't be any clearer," Trump said in a post to his Truth Social account. "I am in complete and total agreement with each voter, whatever their individual view may be. If you believe abortion is murder, so do I. If you think there are cases in which it is acceptable, so do I. If you think there's nothing wrong with it, neither do I. As everyone can see, I feel very strongly about this issue. Strong convictions. The strongest. So strong. I am becoming all things to all people so that by all means I may get elected. MAGA!"


Staunch conservatives expressed outrage. "Really disappointing," said one Republican voter. "I'm shocked that a guy who wants to get elected would say things that are designed to broaden his appeal and minimize one of the most effective arguments his opponents have against him."

At publishing time, all disappointed Trump supporters had announced they would all still vote for Trump.

This would qualify as a Bee article...if it weren't the exact truth.
Trump is like a weathervane.

 

[Billy000]

just like every other politician

Oh gee what a convenient justification for this.

You’re all such pussies lol

 

[Auld Phart]

You finally figured out Trump is a POS politician.

I've known it since 2016.

are you really that slow on the uptake?

 

[Auld Phart]

This would qualify as a Bee article...if it weren't the exact truth.
Trump is like a weathervane.

just like most other politicians.

Biden, Obama, and HIllary had to be dragged kicking and screaming to same sex marriage.

 

[Auld Phart]

Oh gee what a convenient justification for this.

You’re all such pussies lol

look in a mirror

 

[The Sage of Main Street]

Trump is like a weathervane.

A Proper Response to Preacher-Creatures Blowing Hot Air

 

[Leo123]

Babylonbee, meh

 

[Votto]

This would qualify as a Bee article...if it weren't the exact truth.
Trump is like a weathervane.

Actually it did come from the Bee.

Just shows how conservatives are tired of being lied to by the GOP.

The DNC is bad enough.

 

[JackOfNoTrades]

Actually it did come from the Bee.

Just shows how conservatives are tired of being lied to by the GOP.

The DNC is bad enough.

But this isn't satire.
It's the truth.
There's no satire in the truth.

 

[Votto]

But this isn't satire.
It's the truth.
There's no satire in the truth.

Wrong.

Without the truth, there is no satire

That is why you don't think any of them are funny.

You don't understand humor.

It is also why about half of the fake news the Bee does actually comes true.

 

[Leo123]

But this isn't satire.
It's the truth.
There's no satire in the truth.

Yes it is satire, your TDS has affected your ability to think.

 

[JackOfNoTrades]

Wrong.

Without the truth, there is no satire

That is why you don't think any of them are funny.

You don't understand humor.

It is also why about half of the fake news the Bee does actually comes true.

It's the truth. Because it's the truth, there is no humor or satire in it..
It's just truth.
This isn't funny, because it's factual.

 

[beautress]

This would qualify as a Bee article...if it weren't the exact truth.
Trump is like a weathervane.

A weather vane?

EUREKA! You've found it. Our nation is so divided by political climate against one another, and we need a weathervane.

I know it must seem a little off the wall, but President Trump would be the unified influence we need to get along better. He's willing to work with opposite kinds of human issues to make peace on earth.

No lie: It doesn't get better than that.

 

[JackOfNoTrades]

A weather vane?

EUREKA! You've found it. Our nation is so divided by political climate against one another, and we need a weathervane.

I know it must seem a little off the wall, but President Trump would be the unified influence we need to get along better. He's willing to work with opposite kinds of human issues to make peace on earth.

No lie: It doesn't get better than that.

If you believe Donald John Trump is a unifier...then..I got a bridge in Lower Manhattan to sell you. I swear, I own it.
Trump...is only concerned with Trump. He proved it during his term as President that he had no interest in actually doing the job he was elected to do.

 

[BackAgain]

The leftard Dims wish to make “abortion” the singular issue in the election.

It isn’t. It shouldn’t be.

Trump just took it off the table. This frustrates and infuriates our Leftards.