I eat porridge with two tablespoons of brown sugar and a big handful of blueberries all mixed in together almost every morning.
The weekend, however, is a completely different story. I start the morning by yawning like a bear after sleeping in 'til ten or eleven, then I have a long scratch followed by a steaming hot shower. After getting dressed, ambling downstairs and giving the missus a squeeze, the fun really begins. Usually I've got a bit of a hangover on Saturday morning, so I'll run you through that routine. Start by frying a finely chopped onion and chopped-up garlic in butter, then throw in four rashers of bacon. While that's all gently sizzling, break three eggs into a bowl, pour a splash of milk in and whisk. After whisking thoroughly, grate some parmesan cheese into the mix, followed by three finely chopped finger chillis. Shove the bacon aside, spead out the onion and garlic and pour the egg, cheese and chilli mix into the pan. Wait until the mix starts to cook through and solidify, then put two pieces of toast in the toaster. Flip what has now become almost like an omlette and turn off the heat. Butter the toast when it's done, put the omlette-like result on top and accompany with the bacon. Finish off with a large squirt of HP brown sauce (you'll have to look that up, as I've never seen it sold in America) and a steaming hot mug of tea. The spice really helps you sweat-out the hangover, fellas. Plays havoc your arsehole in the afternoon, though.
"You eat some o' the wierdest shit for breakfast, honey" is what she used to say. I think she's got used to it now.
