This what the liberal media would love to report

[red states rule]

The liberal media has reported so many false and fake stories over the last 5 years. I thought what it would be like if we did not have Fox News, talk radio, and the bloggers to keep them in check
The following is a parody of what the liberal media would report if they could get away with it, and they would enjoy every moment of it.
The parody was written by me.


****************PROGRESSIVE NEWS NETWORK*******************

BREAKING NEWS:

Progressive News Network has uncovered a sinister plot by the Bush administration, Under the direction of Karl Rove, scientists have genetically altered cockroachs and have turned them into man eaters.

These roaches will be unleashed in areas heavily populated by patriotic progressives, with the intent to kill as many lovable progressives as possile.

Once the attack is under way, Bush will declare martial law, suspend all elections, revoke the US Constitution, and declare himself President for Life. Bush will, of course blame the peaceful freedom fighters of al Qaeda.

PNN has also learned Bush has built concentration camps in the desert south west where anyone suspected of dissent will be inprisoned there and called 'enemies of the state'.

Bush will also shut down all progresive news outlets leaving Fox News as the offical news outlet for America. Tony Snow is to be named Minister of Information. Rush Limbaugh. Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, and Bill O'Reilly will be the official TV anchors

Pres Bush will divide the US into four sections. Since he will suspend the US Constitution he will appoint Justices Scalia, Thomas, Alito, and Chief Justice Roberts will govern those four sections. Justrices Stevens, Kennedy, Souter, Ginsburg, and Breyer will be sent to the concentration camps.

Once millions of progressives have died, a special pesticide will be applied to kill the roaches. This pesticied is being stoed to Dick Cheneys money vault. Haliburton will apply the pesticide abd will be paid $250 billion

The staff at PNN will continue to work this breaking story. Reporters contributing to this story are Dan Rather, Michael Moore, Alec Baldwin, Chris Matthews, Keith Oldermann, Al Hunt, and Helen Thomas

Please pray we can stop this insidious plot. We do not mean pray to God. No, pray to a higher authority. Howard Dean and the DNC.

 

[007]

And along the same lines...



Headlines from the year 2029!

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Baby conceived naturally - - scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

 

[Stephanie]

Red State- You've been over on the dark side, at Du? Their already saying half those things you wrote about....:teeth:





Pale- 2029 was hilarious.

 

[red states rule]

Red State- You've been over on the dark side, at Du? Their already saying half those things you wrote about....:teeth:





Pale- 2029 was hilarious.

I have it from very reliable sources the NY Times is doing an investigation into reports Karl Rove is using cosmic brain waves to keep the Dixie Chicks up at night

 

[Stephanie]

I have it from very reliable sources the NY Times is doing an investigation into reports Karl Rove is using cosmic brain waves to keep the Dixie Chicks up at night

 

[red states rule]

It is funny, but I will bet you there are liberals out there who would believe it

 

[Stephanie]

It is funny, but I will bet you there are liberals out there who would believe it

That's why I asked you if you had checked out DU? Democraticunderground, when I read your post.
They already believe about the camps, martial law, Bush suspending elections...
Heck, they'd probably believe about the roaches, their so out there..

 

[red states rule]

That's why I asked you if you ever checked out DU, Democraticunderground. They already believe about the camps, martial law, Bush suspending elections...
Heck, they'd probably believe about the roaches, their so out there..

Sorry, but I did not pick up what DU stood for.

Did you here the latest Bush scandal?

The passengers and crew on the 9-11 planes are actually alive. They are being held prisoner in a underground government prison located at the Crawford ranch

You know Stephanie, I damn near pity liberals

 

[007]

Sorry, but I did not pick up what DU stood for.

Did you here the latest Bush scandal?

The passengers and crew on the 9-11 planes are actually alive. They are being held prisoner in a underground government prison located at the Crawford ranch

You know Stephanie, I damn near pity liberals

They don't want your pity red states. THEY pity YOU! Because you're not as ENLIGHTENED as they are. Us conservatives are just a bunch of back woods, hay seed, redneck morons. Just ask alec baldwin, barbara streisand, susan sarandon, ted *hick* kennedy, etc..

 

[red states rule]

They don't want your pity red states. THEY pity YOU! Because you're not as ENLIGHTENED as they are. Us conservatives are just a bunch of back woods, hay seed, redneck morons. Just ask alec baldwin, barbara streisand, susan sarandon, ted *hick* kennedy, etc..

I know what you mean. One of the main requirements to be a liberal is to have a HUGE superiority complex

 

[007]

I know what you mean. One of the main requirements to be a liberal is to have a HUGE superiority complex

You must also have outright, unbriddled, CONTEMPT for conservatives and religon.

 

[red states rule]

They also tell everyone how to live their lives, while exempting themselves from the same

 

[Jimmyeatworld]

I have it from very reliable sources the NY Times is doing an investigation into reports Karl Rove is using cosmic brain waves to keep the Dixie Chicks up at night

Maybe he can alter it and make them stop making CDs too.

 

[red states rule]

Maybe he can alter it and make them stop making CDs too.

They have had to cancel concerts due to lack of ticket sales.

 

[Jimmyeatworld]

They have had to cancel concerts due to lack of ticket sales.

I saw that. About a half dozen or so in several different parts of the country.

If the Dixie Chicks will stop singing "country" and Janeane Garafalo (however it's spelled) will stop doing stand up "comedy", there might be hope for the future of entertainment after all.

 

[red states rule]

Of course, it is not the Dixie Pricks fault they had to cancel shows due to lack of ticket sales.
It is the fault of the right wing smear machine taking their statements out of context

 

[Abbey Normal]

They don't want your pity red states. THEY pity YOU! Because you're not as ENLIGHTENED as they are. Us conservatives are just a bunch of back woods, hay seed, redneck morons. Just ask alec baldwin, barbara streisand, susan sarandon, ted *hick* kennedy, etc..

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Pale Rider again.

 

[jillian]

Dixie Chicks' 'Long Way' Nests In At No. 1
The Dixie Chicks

May 31, 2006, 10:55 AM ET

Katie Hasty, N.Y.
For the third time in their career, the Dixie Chicks roost on the top of The Billboard 200. The Columbia album "Taking the Long Way" tallied 526,000 copies in its first week of U.S. sales, according to Nielsen SoundScan, the trio's best-selling week since 2002's "Home" debuted with 780,000.

And while country radio has remained cool to the group in the wake of a 2003 boycott following comments group member Natalie Maines made about President Bush, "Taking the Long Way" also nabs the No. 1 spot on the Country Albums chart, bumping Rascal Flatts' "Me and My Gang" (Lyric Street/Hollywood) down to No. 2 after seven weeks at the top.

http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1002610727

 

[5stringJeff]

http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1002610727

Does this look like a country band to anyone? Looks more like a punk band to me.

 

[red states rule]

Does this look like a country band to anyone? Looks more like a punk band to me.

They do look much better with their clothes ON