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The Fabulously Reverend Ted Haggard


Senior Member
Jan 7, 2004
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Columbus, OH
Upon emerging from three weeks of "intensive therapy" earlier this week, it was announced that crystal Methodist minister, Revered Ted Haggard was "completely heterosexual". Uh...yeah.

The chances of him being "completely heterosexual" are about the same as me, a caucasian, balding, paunchy man, being confused with Shaquille O'Neal...None.

This is simply a PR move designed to get him back into the fund-raising stream again and keep the money machine that his ministry is, rolling. He will be "forgiven" and brought back into the fold, keeping to the background for a while. His will be like the transition of Jimmy Swaggart back into his ministry after he was busted in a cheap hotel room with a hooker and her daughter. The transition was easier for him though as his peccadillo was heterosexual in nature. And he was, just as likely, not "cured" either.

Unfortunately, Reverend Haggard is not "cured". He has simply been stuffed back into the closet. This will result in further years of emotional anguish for the pastor, and his family, as he tries to fit into a mold he was not born to fit into. It will continue if, and until, he comes to grips with his own sexuality. I do pity him almost as much as I loathe the hypocrisy that led him to his current straights as well as that of those surrounding him.

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