The cruelty of Covid-19 and death

[tigerred59]

My big brother died, July 7 of a stroke.....it was sudden, without warning and he was gone. The very next day, July 8 would have been his 64 birthday. I have been crying ever since. Now the cruelty....because I have been in self isolation since the word came out, I am without a hug, without my family, without our mom, I am alone. Although the family talk via the phone, of course its not the same......I need a shoulder to rest my heart on, a kiss on the forehead for assurance, something to bring his cold cruel death to warmth.

Were it under any other circumstances, I could make it through this, but Covid won't let me.

His wake, is Sunday and although I plan to attend, I am without a doubt, fearful as hell. My family, his wife, is of the old school mentality, as is his church, the more the merrier......will every one come masked? or will they not??? I don't know and like I said, I am terrified to be among the mourners....So far from all the video I've been receiving, as they celebrated his birthday, no masks, just tears and sadness, like I said, I am scared as hell about Sunday and this wake. I will not attend the funeral Monday, because word is out, 70 mourners will be accommodated....I am beside myself with guilt, sadness and grief.

This virus, this hell, is beyond the heart, its tearing away at my soul. My anxiety is over the top, I can't drink enough liquor to get me through this guilt and the fear. My 83 year old mother will be at this funeral and I am beside myself with fear. But mama must say good bye to her first born and I understand. I feel like a coward, I feel hopeless, but I'm afraid, so afraid to go.

I had hoped the wife would arrange a private viewing for the immediate family and plan a virtual funereal, but she needs the support from all his friends and family.....I understand...but I can't get passed the reality that black funerals end so often with black people becoming infected and dying...I've heard to many stories about this, but still I feel like a coward.

Covid-19 has stripped me finally of everything, including my heart. Her cruelty, I bow to you, you win!!

May my big brother sleep in heavenly peace and forgive me for being afraid and a coward.

 

[miketx]

So sorry to hear that. Best wishes.

 

[tigerred59]

So sorry to hear that. Best wishes.

Thank you Mike.

 

[theHawk]

Condolences. Nothing is stopping your family from meeting in person but fear. Especially if all have been self isolating, and not attending BLM riots.

 

[Moonglow]

My big brother died, July 7 of a stroke.....it was sudden, without warning and he was gone. The very next day, July 8 would have been his 64 birthday. I have been crying ever since. Now the cruelty....because I have been in self isolation since the word came out, I am without a hug, without my family, without our mom, I am alone. Although the family talk via the phone, of course its not the same......I need a shoulder to rest my heart on, a kiss on the forehead for assurance, something to bring his cold cruel death to warmth.

Were it under any other circumstances, I could make it through this, but Covid won't let me.

His wake, is Sunday and although I plan to attend, I am without a doubt, fearful as hell. My family, his wife, is of the old school mentality, as is his church, the more the merrier......will every one come masked? or will they not??? I don't know and like I said, I am terrified to be among the mourners....So far from all the video I've been receiving, as they celebrated his birthday, no masks, just tears and sadness, like I said, I am scared as hell about Sunday and this wake. I will not attend the funeral Monday, because word is out, 70 mourners will be accommodated....I am beside myself with guilt, sadness and grief.

This virus, this hell, is beyond the heart, its tearing away at my soul. My anxiety is over the top, I can't drink enough liquor to get me through this guilt and the fear. My 83 year old mother will be at this funeral and I am beside myself with fear. But mama must say good bye to her first born and I understand. I feel like a coward, I feel hopeless, but I'm afraid, so afraid to go.

I had hoped the wife would arrange a private viewing for the immediate family and plan a virtual funereal, but she needs the support from all his friends and family.....I understand...but I can't get passed the reality that black funerals end so often with black people becoming infected and dying...I've heard to many stories about this, but still I feel like a coward.

Covid-19 has stripped me finally of everything, including my heart. Her cruelty, I bow to you, you win!!

May my big brother sleep in heavenly peace and forgive me for being afraid and a coward.

Sorry to hear that Tig, my sister was 47 when she passed in 2007 of a massive heart attack. Wear the mask go to the funeral and say goodbye.

 

[Harry Dresden]

My big brother died, July 7 of a stroke.....it was sudden, without warning and he was gone. The very next day, July 8 would have been his 64 birthday. I have been crying ever since. Now the cruelty....because I have been in self isolation since the word came out, I am without a hug, without my family, without our mom, I am alone. Although the family talk via the phone, of course its not the same......I need a shoulder to rest my heart on, a kiss on the forehead for assurance, something to bring his cold cruel death to warmth.

Were it under any other circumstances, I could make it through this, but Covid won't let me.

His wake, is Sunday and although I plan to attend, I am without a doubt, fearful as hell. My family, his wife, is of the old school mentality, as is his church, the more the merrier......will every one come masked? or will they not??? I don't know and like I said, I am terrified to be among the mourners....So far from all the video I've been receiving, as they celebrated his birthday, no masks, just tears and sadness, like I said, I am scared as hell about Sunday and this wake. I will not attend the funeral Monday, because word is out, 70 mourners will be accommodated....I am beside myself with guilt, sadness and grief.

This virus, this hell, is beyond the heart, its tearing away at my soul. My anxiety is over the top, I can't drink enough liquor to get me through this guilt and the fear. My 83 year old mother will be at this funeral and I am beside myself with fear. But mama must say good bye to her first born and I understand. I feel like a coward, I feel hopeless, but I'm afraid, so afraid to go.

I had hoped the wife would arrange a private viewing for the immediate family and plan a virtual funereal, but she needs the support from all his friends and family.....I understand...but I can't get passed the reality that black funerals end so often with black people becoming infected and dying...I've heard to many stories about this, but still I feel like a coward.

Covid-19 has stripped me finally of everything, including my heart. Her cruelty, I bow to you, you win!!

May my big brother sleep in heavenly peace and forgive me for being afraid and a coward.

sorry to hear that tiger....this virus is fucking a lot of things up....stay strong and take precautions....

 

[Dekster]

Seeing the remains will give you more closure than not seeing them.

 

[tigerred59]

My big brother died, July 7 of a stroke.....it was sudden, without warning and he was gone. The very next day, July 8 would have been his 64 birthday. I have been crying ever since. Now the cruelty....because I have been in self isolation since the word came out, I am without a hug, without my family, without our mom, I am alone. Although the family talk via the phone, of course its not the same......I need a shoulder to rest my heart on, a kiss on the forehead for assurance, something to bring his cold cruel death to warmth.

Were it under any other circumstances, I could make it through this, but Covid won't let me.

His wake, is Sunday and although I plan to attend, I am without a doubt, fearful as hell. My family, his wife, is of the old school mentality, as is his church, the more the merrier......will every one come masked? or will they not??? I don't know and like I said, I am terrified to be among the mourners....So far from all the video I've been receiving, as they celebrated his birthday, no masks, just tears and sadness, like I said, I am scared as hell about Sunday and this wake. I will not attend the funeral Monday, because word is out, 70 mourners will be accommodated....I am beside myself with guilt, sadness and grief.

This virus, this hell, is beyond the heart, its tearing away at my soul. My anxiety is over the top, I can't drink enough liquor to get me through this guilt and the fear. My 83 year old mother will be at this funeral and I am beside myself with fear. But mama must say good bye to her first born and I understand. I feel like a coward, I feel hopeless, but I'm afraid, so afraid to go.

I had hoped the wife would arrange a private viewing for the immediate family and plan a virtual funereal, but she needs the support from all his friends and family.....I understand...but I can't get passed the reality that black funerals end so often with black people becoming infected and dying...I've heard to many stories about this, but still I feel like a coward.

Covid-19 has stripped me finally of everything, including my heart. Her cruelty, I bow to you, you win!!

May my big brother sleep in heavenly peace and forgive me for being afraid and a coward.

Sorry to hear that Tig, my sister was 47 when she passed in 2007 of a massive heart attack. Wear the mask go to the funeral and say goodbye.

(sigh), I dunno, we'll see and thank you and I'm sorry to hear about your sister

 

[tigerred59]

Seeing the remains will give you more closure than not seeing them.

His wake will give me closure, that I will attend, I'm just not comfortable sitting in a hot church, with mourners grieving and crying.

 

[forkup]

My big brother died, July 7 of a stroke.....it was sudden, without warning and he was gone. The very next day, July 8 would have been his 64 birthday. I have been crying ever since. Now the cruelty....because I have been in self isolation since the word came out, I am without a hug, without my family, without our mom, I am alone. Although the family talk via the phone, of course its not the same......I need a shoulder to rest my heart on, a kiss on the forehead for assurance, something to bring his cold cruel death to warmth.

Were it under any other circumstances, I could make it through this, but Covid won't let me.

His wake, is Sunday and although I plan to attend, I am without a doubt, fearful as hell. My family, his wife, is of the old school mentality, as is his church, the more the merrier......will every one come masked? or will they not??? I don't know and like I said, I am terrified to be among the mourners....So far from all the video I've been receiving, as they celebrated his birthday, no masks, just tears and sadness, like I said, I am scared as hell about Sunday and this wake. I will not attend the funeral Monday, because word is out, 70 mourners will be accommodated....I am beside myself with guilt, sadness and grief.

This virus, this hell, is beyond the heart, its tearing away at my soul. My anxiety is over the top, I can't drink enough liquor to get me through this guilt and the fear. My 83 year old mother will be at this funeral and I am beside myself with fear. But mama must say good bye to her first born and I understand. I feel like a coward, I feel hopeless, but I'm afraid, so afraid to go.

I had hoped the wife would arrange a private viewing for the immediate family and plan a virtual funereal, but she needs the support from all his friends and family.....I understand...but I can't get passed the reality that black funerals end so often with black people becoming infected and dying...I've heard to many stories about this, but still I feel like a coward.

Covid-19 has stripped me finally of everything, including my heart. Her cruelty, I bow to you, you win!!

May my big brother sleep in heavenly peace and forgive me for being afraid and a coward.

My deepest condolences.

 

[tigerred59]

My big brother died, July 7 of a stroke.....it was sudden, without warning and he was gone. The very next day, July 8 would have been his 64 birthday. I have been crying ever since. Now the cruelty....because I have been in self isolation since the word came out, I am without a hug, without my family, without our mom, I am alone. Although the family talk via the phone, of course its not the same......I need a shoulder to rest my heart on, a kiss on the forehead for assurance, something to bring his cold cruel death to warmth.

Were it under any other circumstances, I could make it through this, but Covid won't let me.

His wake, is Sunday and although I plan to attend, I am without a doubt, fearful as hell. My family, his wife, is of the old school mentality, as is his church, the more the merrier......will every one come masked? or will they not??? I don't know and like I said, I am terrified to be among the mourners....So far from all the video I've been receiving, as they celebrated his birthday, no masks, just tears and sadness, like I said, I am scared as hell about Sunday and this wake. I will not attend the funeral Monday, because word is out, 70 mourners will be accommodated....I am beside myself with guilt, sadness and grief.

This virus, this hell, is beyond the heart, its tearing away at my soul. My anxiety is over the top, I can't drink enough liquor to get me through this guilt and the fear. My 83 year old mother will be at this funeral and I am beside myself with fear. But mama must say good bye to her first born and I understand. I feel like a coward, I feel hopeless, but I'm afraid, so afraid to go.

I had hoped the wife would arrange a private viewing for the immediate family and plan a virtual funereal, but she needs the support from all his friends and family.....I understand...but I can't get passed the reality that black funerals end so often with black people becoming infected and dying...I've heard to many stories about this, but still I feel like a coward.

Covid-19 has stripped me finally of everything, including my heart. Her cruelty, I bow to you, you win!!

May my big brother sleep in heavenly peace and forgive me for being afraid and a coward.

sorry to hear that tiger....this virus is fucking a lot of things up....stay strong and take precautions....

Nov. of last year, the last time I saw my brother, we were all gathered at a family resturant celebrating our niece graduating from nursing school....all packed at a table, drinking, laughing eating.....I would give my right arm to repeat that moment at his passing....COVID is cruel and deadly....(sigh) Thanks Harry.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

I am not a person given to sympathy, compassion or empathy. This is a situation that requires neither. Tell the democrats to put a sock in their manufactured hysteria. Grow a spine and go. Be a hero.

Your 83 year old mother has more intestinal fortitude than you. Why aren't you ashamed of yourself? Your whole family will attend and give your mother what strength and solace they can. If you don't go, everyone will know what you are.

Oh by the way. Sorry for your loss.

 

[NewsVine_Mariyam]

My big brother died, July 7 of a stroke.....it was sudden, without warning and he was gone. The very next day, July 8 would have been his 64 birthday. I have been crying ever since. Now the cruelty....because I have been in self isolation since the word came out, I am without a hug, without my family, without our mom, I am alone. Although the family talk via the phone, of course its not the same......I need a shoulder to rest my heart on, a kiss on the forehead for assurance, something to bring his cold cruel death to warmth.

Were it under any other circumstances, I could make it through this, but Covid won't let me.

His wake, is Sunday and although I plan to attend, I am without a doubt, fearful as hell. My family, his wife, is of the old school mentality, as is his church, the more the merrier......will every one come masked? or will they not??? I don't know and like I said, I am terrified to be among the mourners....So far from all the video I've been receiving, as they celebrated his birthday, no masks, just tears and sadness, like I said, I am scared as hell about Sunday and this wake. I will not attend the funeral Monday, because word is out, 70 mourners will be accommodated....I am beside myself with guilt, sadness and grief.

This virus, this hell, is beyond the heart, its tearing away at my soul. My anxiety is over the top, I can't drink enough liquor to get me through this guilt and the fear. My 83 year old mother will be at this funeral and I am beside myself with fear. But mama must say good bye to her first born and I understand. I feel like a coward, I feel hopeless, but I'm afraid, so afraid to go.

I had hoped the wife would arrange a private viewing for the immediate family and plan a virtual funereal, but she needs the support from all his friends and family.....I understand...but I can't get passed the reality that black funerals end so often with black people becoming infected and dying...I've heard to many stories about this, but still I feel like a coward.

Covid-19 has stripped me finally of everything, including my heart. Her cruelty, I bow to you, you win!!

May my big brother sleep in heavenly peace and forgive me for being afraid and a coward.

I am so sorry to hear this. I don't even know how to adequately express my condolences.

 

[NewsVine_Mariyam]

I am not a person given to sympathy, compassion or empathy. This is a situation that requires neither. Tell the democrats to put a sock in their manufactured hysteria. Grow a spine and go. Be a hero.

Your 83 year old mother has more intestinal fortitude than you. Why aren't you ashamed of yourself? Your whole family will attend and give your mother what strength and solace they can. If you don't go, everyone will know what you are.

Oh by the way. Sorry for your loss.

My mom used to tell us when we were growing up "If you don't have something nice to say, don't saying anything at all".

It's unfortunate more people didn't have a mother like ours.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

I am not a person given to sympathy, compassion or empathy. This is a situation that requires neither. Tell the democrats to put a sock in their manufactured hysteria. Grow a spine and go. Be a hero.

Your 83 year old mother has more intestinal fortitude than you. Why aren't you ashamed of yourself? Your whole family will attend and give your mother what strength and solace they can. If you don't go, everyone will know what you are.

Oh by the way. Sorry for your loss.

My mom used to tell us when we were growing up "If you don't have something nice to say, don't saying anything at all".

It's unfortunate more people didn't have a mother like ours.

Sometimes accommodating weakness is a disservice and the cruelest thing you can do. In this case, withholding care and support from an 83 year old mother is quite horrifying all by itself.

 

[tigerred59]

I am not a person given to sympathy, compassion or empathy. This is a situation that requires neither. Tell the democrats to put a sock in their manufactured hysteria. Grow a spine and go. Be a hero.

Your 83 year old mother has more intestinal fortitude than you. Why aren't you ashamed of yourself? Your whole family will attend and give your mother what strength and solace they can. If you don't go, everyone will know what you are.

Oh by the way. Sorry for your loss.

I wouldn't expect anything less from you, have a blessed day, Tipsy, I'm too emotionally torn and wore out, to give you anything less.

 

[Natural Citizen]

Condolences.

 

[tigerred59]

I am not a person given to sympathy, compassion or empathy. This is a situation that requires neither. Tell the democrats to put a sock in their manufactured hysteria. Grow a spine and go. Be a hero.

Your 83 year old mother has more intestinal fortitude than you. Why aren't you ashamed of yourself? Your whole family will attend and give your mother what strength and solace they can. If you don't go, everyone will know what you are.

Oh by the way. Sorry for your loss.

My mom used to tell us when we were growing up "If you don't have something nice to say, don't saying anything at all".

It's unfortunate more people didn't have a mother like ours.

Sometimes accommodating weakness is a disservice and the cruelest thing you can do. In this case, withholding care and support from an 83 year old mother is quite horrifying all by itself.

At work, I am surrounded by allergy victims, the coughs, the sneezes, the huffing the puffing, all without mask, me with mask. I am on so much anxiety meds, I sometimes wished I'd get it and just have what needs to happen, even death. Until you come to terms with this thing, it controls you. I'm not afraid to die, I'm afraid to suffer while doing it. I have COPD and athsma. Until you struggle with air flow, you will never understand the fear....again, please have a blessed day.

 

[tigerred59]

I am not a person given to sympathy, compassion or empathy. This is a situation that requires neither. Tell the democrats to put a sock in their manufactured hysteria. Grow a spine and go. Be a hero.

Your 83 year old mother has more intestinal fortitude than you. Why aren't you ashamed of yourself? Your whole family will attend and give your mother what strength and solace they can. If you don't go, everyone will know what you are.

Oh by the way. Sorry for your loss.

My mom used to tell us when we were growing up "If you don't have something nice to say, don't saying anything at all".

It's unfortunate more people didn't have a mother like ours.

I came here to express my fears and I expected nothing less. I have enough people at home, questioning me and making the guilt worse. But I am at peace with my big brother, I will attend his wake, give my prayer in silence and leave quietly. My brother is gone, its just saying good bye to his body that is stressing my inner soul and that I will come to terms with eventually. He was good man, a good son and a good father and husband and nothing but good things await him, this I am sure of and I know he knows his sister and how I am and that's all that matters..

 

[tigerred59]

My big brother died, July 7 of a stroke.....it was sudden, without warning and he was gone. The very next day, July 8 would have been his 64 birthday. I have been crying ever since. Now the cruelty....because I have been in self isolation since the word came out, I am without a hug, without my family, without our mom, I am alone. Although the family talk via the phone, of course its not the same......I need a shoulder to rest my heart on, a kiss on the forehead for assurance, something to bring his cold cruel death to warmth.

Were it under any other circumstances, I could make it through this, but Covid won't let me.

His wake, is Sunday and although I plan to attend, I am without a doubt, fearful as hell. My family, his wife, is of the old school mentality, as is his church, the more the merrier......will every one come masked? or will they not??? I don't know and like I said, I am terrified to be among the mourners....So far from all the video I've been receiving, as they celebrated his birthday, no masks, just tears and sadness, like I said, I am scared as hell about Sunday and this wake. I will not attend the funeral Monday, because word is out, 70 mourners will be accommodated....I am beside myself with guilt, sadness and grief.

This virus, this hell, is beyond the heart, its tearing away at my soul. My anxiety is over the top, I can't drink enough liquor to get me through this guilt and the fear. My 83 year old mother will be at this funeral and I am beside myself with fear. But mama must say good bye to her first born and I understand. I feel like a coward, I feel hopeless, but I'm afraid, so afraid to go.

I had hoped the wife would arrange a private viewing for the immediate family and plan a virtual funereal, but she needs the support from all his friends and family.....I understand...but I can't get passed the reality that black funerals end so often with black people becoming infected and dying...I've heard to many stories about this, but still I feel like a coward.

Covid-19 has stripped me finally of everything, including my heart. Her cruelty, I bow to you, you win!!

May my big brother sleep in heavenly peace and forgive me for being afraid and a coward.

I am so sorry to hear this. I don't even know how to adequately express my condolences.

Under normal circumstances, I would be overwhelmed with family and friends and hugs and tears and warmth....Covid, has me isolated, in fear and wanting...this thing is so horrible, so cruel.