Terminating a toxic frienship: How?

[Kiki Cannoli]

Let's preface, very small community, neighbors, same social circle - but I need to draw some firm boundaries and remove this source of angst and bad vibes. She is sucking all my chi.

Any guidance? I've never had to 'breakup' with a friend.

 

[zzzz]

Honesty is very liberating.

 

[RetiredGySgt]

Either suck it up or tell her to her face you can not be friends anymore.

 

[Kiki Cannoli]

yeah that would be grown up too, i imagine.

 

[Sherry]

Do you want to draw boundaries or completely break it off??

 

[Kiki Cannoli]

Either suck it up or tell her to her face you can not be friends anymore.

you're right.

damn. i guess i just needed a grown up 2x4

 

[Crackerjack]

Hire a hitman.

 

[Kiki Cannoli]

Do you want to draw boundaries or completely break it off??

good question! Now that I think about it...

I need to break it off it is not healthy; codependency, manipulation, alcoholism and a lying cake eater. Really don't want this person in my life anymore.

 

[Mr.Nick]

Let's preface, very small community, neighbors, same social circle - but I need to draw some firm boundaries and remove this source of angst and bad vibes. She is sucking all my chi.

Any guidance? I've never had to 'breakup' with a friend.

Snub..

 

[syrenn]

Let's preface, very small community, neighbors, same social circle - but I need to draw some firm boundaries and remove this source of angst and bad vibes. She is sucking all my chi.

Any guidance? I've never had to 'breakup' with a friend.

Just say it all, as it will be your last contact (hopefully)

Write it down, read it over and make sure its what YOU need to say in parting.

 

[Kiki Cannoli]

Let's preface, very small community, neighbors, same social circle - but I need to draw some firm boundaries and remove this source of angst and bad vibes. She is sucking all my chi.

Any guidance? I've never had to 'breakup' with a friend.

Snub..

not sure if you are serious or being facitious Mr. Nick.

best to put on the grown up shoes and confront, i guess.

 

[Sherry]

Are you hesitant because of how it may impact your mutual social circle??

 

[Mr.Nick]

Let's preface, very small community, neighbors, same social circle - but I need to draw some firm boundaries and remove this source of angst and bad vibes. She is sucking all my chi.

Any guidance? I've never had to 'breakup' with a friend.

Snub..

not sure if you are serious or being facitious Mr. Nick.

best to put on the grown up shoes and confront, i guess.

Dem clown shoes don't fit me man.

 

[xotoxi]

 

[JakeStarkey]

The question is not your impact on her. That is immaterial in the run of things because you mean it to be permanent. The issue is the mutual circle of friends and acquaintances. Those who accept "her side" will have to be avoided as well.

I realize I am advising a woman on this issue, when I don't really understand women very well. I am suggesting what is logical to me in this situation. In high school, it was simple: invite the guy to a knuckle conference under the bleachers after school with a dozen guys to validate the reasons and the outcome. Even if a guy lost the debate, he won the conference because he confronted the other guy and did not back down.

This is about you, and not me (though I got to thinking), kiki, so I hope you find the right solution.

Great questions for the board. Thank you, and best fortune.

 

[Kiki Cannoli]

Are you hesitant because of how it may impact your mutual social circle??

well, there will be 'talk' of course. but i am not one for the public drama, so will subside quickly. Truth be told, i no longer want to be known to associate with her as her behaviours are less than desirable these days.

I am hesitant because I am a fixer and a giver. If I dump her, she'll have no "good" people left. I make her issues my responsibility..at least that was a poor pattern of mine and I am on the slippery slope.

Today, I prefer not to regress and to remain true to myself; but I feel selfish.

 

[percysunshine]

Let's preface, very small community, neighbors, same social circle - but I need to draw some firm boundaries and remove this source of angst and bad vibes. She is sucking all my chi.

Any guidance? I've never had to 'breakup' with a friend.

Tell her you are converting to Islam and want her to wear a veil.

Should end things pretty quick.

 

[Mr.Nick]

Get a hobby that doesn't involve photoshop....

 

[del]

Get a hobby that doesn't involve photoshop....

like mocking halfwits on the interwebz?

 

[Mad Scientist]

I realize I am advising a woman on this issue...

Plus she hasn't really said what the problem is.

Knowing women as I do it could something as simple as "she doesn't like my fashion sense".

Us Guys aren't afraid to confront each other but Women seem to be unable to do so.