Spanking

[Anathema]

The child should regard its parent as a source of nourishment and loving comfort. So long as that positive condition is in place an occasional scolding or spanking will not detract from it.

That wouldn't have worked for my parents, with me. Corporal punishment was the only thing that worked with me. They tried other things but none worked. Especially as I got into double digit ages. There was nothing to take away from me and no social life for me to forfeit.

 

[Pogo]

Found object:

 

[ChrisL]

I never had to do that. Like I said, I only had to take my son's hands in mine and look him in the eyes and say no. That always worked. I see absolutely no reason at all to spank a 1-year-old baby. That is terrible!

Who spanks one year-old babies? I don't believe anyone here recommends or approves of that. What can a one year-old infant do that might call for punishment?

The purpose of spanking is not to inflict serious, potentially damaging pain but to emphasize disapproval, which the child pre-consciously senses as withdrawal of the loving, nourishing comfort he/she has become accustomed to and might be taking for granted. A sharp crack on the ass momentarily cancels over-confidence and is constructively associated with the provocative misconduct or disobedience that brought it about.

Spanking is analogous to a mother cat thumping her willful kitten or a mother dog nipping her aggressive pup.

Did you not read the post I quoted?

Quoted?
I don't see anywhere where I said spanking one year olds.
I said...smacking their hand. I would never tell anyone to give a genuine spanking on a one year old.
And every child is different. My daughter listened very well, I am not sure I remember ever having to smack at her hand...but my son. Huge difference. Huge. I have Adult ADD, so does he. If you had a child with ADD - and you want to protect them from ending their lives prematurely from the 10,000 random things they want to do...you will do anything to stop them. It is better to receive a light smack on the back of their hand than to get run over, or...well...hey...true story. My son had to have 7 stitches on the back of his head when he was two. Why...because he decided he wanted to climb on top of the toilet...no...I mean on TOP of the toilet, as in the top of the water tank so he could look out the window. He fell against the radiator. Busted his head good. If I would have been in the room, I would have smacked his hand maybe.,,,and he would have not possibly died from a broken neck which was certainly possible. What a bad father I was.

I didn't say you were a bad father. I have no idea what kind of father you are or were. I am only commenting on your post. I don't see why your method of spanking a baby's hand is any more effective than my method which involves no spanking.

 

[ChrisL]

I lived in fear of my mother. I used to have nightmares about her and thought that I was a "bad girl" all the time. I thought if my own mother doesn't love me, then I must be a bad kid. THAT is what happens when you hit and scream at and call your children names.

A balancing level of comforting affection is critical. Based on what you've said here it seems obvious that balancing element was missing from your mother's attentions toward you.

The child should regard its parent as a source of nourishment and loving comfort. So long as that positive condition is in place an occasional scolding or spanking will not detract from it.

Well, these things didn't happen all the time either. Just sometimes. I think more than any physical abuse, I probably suffered more from mental/emotional type of abuse. The point is, I totally rebelled against her as a teenager. I didn't feel like I had a really good relationship with my mother. I don't really think that spanking your children is all some of you are making it, and that it is kind of counter productive in some cases. Also, it is easy for a parent/guardian to get out of control and actually beat the child because, yes, they in fact DO get angry. I know that people here would like me to believe they are perfect and don't lose their patience or tempers ever, but having actually lived in this world for a while now, I know better.

BTW, what ARE your qualifications since you seem to be speaking as some kind of expert on child rearing?

 

[ChrisL]

Well anyway, I never had a need to spank my 1-year-old, not even on the hand. If there was ever a time when my son needed a spank, it would be more so his teen years. Terrible teens are worse than terrible 2's any day. Lol. J/K. While a PITA, he wasn't all that bad as a teen, but that is the most annoying age to me. Better than spanking would be to have a remote control so that you turn your teenagers back into babies whenever you want!

 

[MikeK]

[...]

BTW, what ARE your qualifications since you seem to be speaking as some kind of expert on child rearing?

My late wife was a clinical psychologist. (It rubs off over the years.)

Anything I say in this forum is an ordinary opinion. I am not a recognized expert in any field -- unless you wish to consider having helped to raise three successful young women an indication of some level of expertise. (It wasn't easy.)

 

[Anathema]

Anything I say in this forum is an ordinary opinion. I am not a recognized expert in any field -- unless you wish to consider having helped to raise three successful young women an indication of some level of expertise. (It wasn't easy.)

Unless you mean married, homemaking, mothers, I think we have different definitions of successful young woman.

 

[MikeK]

Anything I say in this forum is an ordinary opinion. I am not a recognized expert in any field -- unless you wish to consider having helped to raise three successful young women an indication of some level of expertise. (It wasn't easy.)

Unless you mean married, homemaking, mothers, I think we have different definitions of successful young woman.

Two are happily married and one is a graphics designer for a major television production company. I call that success.

 

[Anathema]

Two are happily married and one is a graphics designer for a major television production company. I call that success.

If that works,for you, great.

 

[Jarlaxle]

.... for or against?

Any adult that hits a child in any way, shape, or form under any circumstances should be publicly tortured to death over a period of a year.

It is an excuse for twisted perverts and sadists to get their rocks off.