Spanking

[iamwhatiseem]

Spanking, hand smacking etc. is both useful and effective when the child is not yet old enough to comprehend reasons not to do whatever they just did.
After that, it is ineffective and damaging to the parent-child relationship.

 

[rightwinger]

.... for or against?

Depends on how hard you spank....but I'll give it a shot

 

[Pogo]

Spanking, hand smacking etc. is both useful and effective when the child is not yet old enough to comprehend reasons not to do whatever they just did.
After that, it is ineffective and damaging to the parent-child relationship.

My point earlier was that the child not yet old enough to understand that is also not going to be able to comprehend why it's suddenly being attacked.

 

[iamwhatiseem]

My point earlier was that the child not yet old enough to understand that is also not going to be able to comprehend why it's suddenly being attacked.

Not so...children aren't dogs. They are smarter.
Even a one year old understands simple correlations and strong tones in our voices.
For instance, a one year old reaches for an electrical chord. You smack their hand and yell "NO!!"..point at the object...smack again, and again shout NO! Often the one year old will immediately reach for it again - but you will notice they are staring at you seeing what your response is, and slowly reaching. They are not rebelling, they are seeing if your shouting and smacking has to do with that object - and thus - another smack and yell teaches them that it does.
It is very effective at that very young age.
I raised two children as well as I have seven nieces and nephews.

 

[Pogo]

My point earlier was that the child not yet old enough to understand that is also not going to be able to comprehend why it's suddenly being attacked.

Not so...children aren't dogs. They are smarter.
Even a one year old understands simple correlations and strong tones in our voices.
For instance, a one year old reaches for an electrical chord. You smack their hand and yell "NO!!"..point at the object...smack again, and again shout NO! Often the one year old will immediately reach for it again - but you will notice they are staring at you seeing what your response is, and slowly reaching. They are not rebelling, they are seeing if your shouting and smacking has to do with that object - and thus - another smack and yell teaches them that it does.
It is very effective at that very young age.
I raised two children as well as I have seven nieces and nephews.

No, I don't think they do. I think they understand pain and violence and the effect thereof, but not the connection to what preceded it. Wasn't true for me at age 4, it certainly won't be the case at age 1.

It's one thing to refrain from doing something because it's off limits or forbidden; it's a whole different thing to refrain from it because it brings pain. IMHO. As far as having raised kids, hey I survived too, doesn't mean it was done the right way.

 

[iamwhatiseem]

My point earlier was that the child not yet old enough to understand that is also not going to be able to comprehend why it's suddenly being attacked.

Not so...children aren't dogs. They are smarter.
Even a one year old understands simple correlations and strong tones in our voices.
For instance, a one year old reaches for an electrical chord. You smack their hand and yell "NO!!"..point at the object...smack again, and again shout NO! Often the one year old will immediately reach for it again - but you will notice they are staring at you seeing what your response is, and slowly reaching. They are not rebelling, they are seeing if your shouting and smacking has to do with that object - and thus - another smack and yell teaches them that it does.
It is very effective at that very young age.
I raised two children as well as I have seven nieces and nephews.

No, I don't think they do. I think they understand pain and violence and the effect thereof, but not the connection to what preceded it. Wasn't true for me at age 4, it certainly won't be the case at age 1.

It's one thing to refrain from doing something because it's off limits or forbidden; it's a whole different thing to refrain from it because it brings pain. IMHO. As far as having raised kids, hey I survived too, doesn't mean it was done the right way.

Age 4 is to old to spank. I think we stopped somewhere around 3 years old.
At the post toddler/preschool age...punishing by taking things away from them and sitting in a corner etc. work well.
At least it did for us

 

[martybegan]

For it when used as a correction for a life threatening situation.

You don't spank a kid for spilling his juice, you do spank a kid for bolting ahead of you and almost running into traffic.


Edit: and if this is about adult on adult spanking, then, meh, it doesn't do anything for me.

Inspired by 'you don't shoot a duck for quacking.'

Don't fault children for being childish.

it's not about "Fault" it's about explaining to a undeveloped person that "running into the street is bad".

Explaining this to a 3 year old and having them get it requires an extraordinary 3 year old. A quick spank and a "don't do that" gets the message across to 99% of three year olds.

I think the above displays a fundamental ignorance of how a child's mind works.

Not at all. What I see from most people who oppose corporal punishment in all forms is the adult-ization of a childs mind in the hope that reasoning with them will work.

I don't think reason works - but pain doesn't have to be physical.....

Growing up I would rather have had the 2-3 seconds of physical pain than the 4-6 hour rants my mother went on, or the 3 day "not talking to anyone" freak-outs she had. THOSE were abusive, not corrective.

FYI, she had a chemical imbalance, she's on meds now and we are fine, but back then.... yikes.

 

[Bonzi]

I think if you smack their hand with a back up verbal explanation.....
Either way, if the negative could save their life in the future, is worth it.

 

[martybegan]

I think if you smack their hand with a back up verbal explanation.....
Either way, if the negative could save their life in the future, is worth it.

100%. When you spank your kid the emotion you should be having is fear, not anger, because something almost happened that could have really hurt the little twit.

If a person is angry when they hit their kid, that's abuse. It's not there for a steam release on their part.

 

[Bonzi]

Gosh Bonzi --- ya post a thread about sex and everybody wants to go to the mundane. Is Mercury in retrograde or sump'm?

I left it open to interpretation (intentionally)..... INTERESTING!!!

 

[Auld Phart]

 

[Bonzi]

 

[waltky]

Uncle Ferd says watch out fer tattooed womens...

... dey spank too hard.

 

[Pogo]

Gosh Bonzi --- ya post a thread about sex and everybody wants to go to the mundane. Is Mercury in retrograde or sump'm?

I left it open to interpretation (intentionally)..... INTERESTING!!!

Your reputation must not be quite where we thought it was..... better get to work on that.

You know I'll pitch in and do my part.

 

[Bonzi]

Gosh Bonzi --- ya post a thread about sex and everybody wants to go to the mundane. Is Mercury in retrograde or sump'm?

I left it open to interpretation (intentionally)..... INTERESTING!!!

Your reputation must not be quite where we thought it was..... better get to work on that.

You know I'll pitch in and do my part.

I also like to leave my reputation open to interpretation.....

 

[Anathema]

.... for or against?

FOR. Decidedly in favir of. Without ut Id either be dead or in prison. Sometimes its the only way to make the necessary point sufficiently clear to a child or wife.

 

[Pogo]

Gosh Bonzi --- ya post a thread about sex and everybody wants to go to the mundane. Is Mercury in retrograde or sump'm?

I left it open to interpretation (intentionally)..... INTERESTING!!!

Your reputation must not be quite where we thought it was..... better get to work on that.

You know I'll pitch in and do my part.

I also like to leave my reputation open to interpretation.....

There is something to be said for mystery....

But on the other hand.... I know what I like....

 

[Bonzi]

Oh I love to give spankings...

I like to spank people playing cards
I like to spank people when I play tennis

 

[Pogo]

Sometimes its the only way to make the necessary point sufficiently clear to a child or wife.

Whew. Fucked up.
Me, I'm a lover not a spanker. Gotta go with what you're good at I guess.

 

[Bonzi]

Gosh Bonzi --- ya post a thread about sex and everybody wants to go to the mundane. Is Mercury in retrograde or sump'm?

I left it open to interpretation (intentionally)..... INTERESTING!!!

Your reputation must not be quite where we thought it was..... better get to work on that.

You know I'll pitch in and do my part.

I also like to leave my reputation open to interpretation.....

There is something to be said for mystery....

But on the other hand.... I know what I like....

I guess it's not mystery......