Questions, nothing but questions

Would You Rather Be a Colonel With an Eagle On Your Shoulder, or a Private With a Chicken On Your Knee?
 
Who's the joker who did NOT put a replacement roll of toilet paper in the bathroom?!?!? (yelled loudly from "the throne")
 
What in the wide wide world of sports is a going on here?
 
Where's the beef?
And is it better off now than it was four years ago?
 
Why do we park in a driveway but drive on a parkway?
 
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