often parents don't understand what it takes to mainstream a special needs student. They think it's easy.
the curriculum may need to be altered so they understand the material
maybe special technology needs to be acquired and the staff needs trained in its use
aids need hired and trained
the classroom environment may need to be altered to accommodate one student
if the special needs student is disruptive, then the other students suffer. Quite often that is the case.
usually, mainstreaming is relatively seamless however. but it takes extra time and effort.
Unfortunately many special need parents are not grateful for the effort. they believe it's an entitlement which extends to the staff working after hours to accommodate the parents schedule.
You come off as a helicopter mom.
My suggestion to have the IEP meeting AFTER school was because they claimed they couldn't get all the school staff that was required to be at the meeting, at the meeting at the same time due to scheduling conflicts. How terrible of me to expect the people with the complaints about my son to actually show up at the meeting about him. I don't even know what a "helicopter" mom is. His teacher, the one it most impacted, couldn't come to the meeting because they held it during school hours. Kind of stupid to have IEP meetings without the presence of the teachers.