Zone1 My (52nd) Anniversary Message

[80zephyr]

Remove idealism from the picture. Remove government from the picture. Before a woman marries, what are the legal assurances she is going to want from the man if he decides to walk out? What is the man going to want? Before marrying, they each sign the legal agreement. They decide beforehand if wages will be garnished, how the property will be divided, and child support/visitation. Either can still walk out any time he/she decides--but they know beforehand how much it's going to hurt both themselves and the other.

Great!! Lets plan to fail. BTW, you simply changed the mechanism for divorce. Same old, same old.

 

[Meriweather]

Great!! Lets plan to fail. BTW, you simply changed the mechanism for divorce. Same old, same old.

Go further into the depths. The goal: Less failed marriages. At one time society insured divorce was not a good thing. Then government got involved and voila! No fault divorce and actually encouraged it. Leave government out of it and insist each couple take responsibility. Do you truly need a government babysitter to manage your life?

 

[Cassandro]

Do you truly need a government babysitter to manage your life?

Most people do. Despite the religious trappings of marriage, its basic societal function is to promote the care and protection of children. Without the presumption of children, there is hardly any civil need for marriage. You can love love or not love anyone you want. But once you have created a child, you have a great moral and social obligation to provide a stable parental relationship with it. That is a principal benefit of long marriages.

 

[Meriweather]

Most people do. Despite the religious trappings of marriage, its basic societal function is to promote the care and protection of children. Without the presumption of children, there is hardly any civil need for marriage. You can love love or not love anyone you want. But once you have created a child, you have a great moral and social obligation to provide a stable parental relationship with it. That is a principal benefit of long marriages.

I am in favor of marriage. I am not in favor of divorce. Government fails us when it comes to divorce.

 

[80zephyr]

Go further into the depths. The goal: Less failed marriages. At one time society insured divorce was not a good thing. Then government got involved and voila! No fault divorce and actually encouraged it. Leave government out of it and insist each couple take responsibility. Do you truly need a government babysitter to manage your life?

No, but you do need laws that protect the interests of people.

 

[forkintheroad7]

: you have a successful marriage when you make the right "investment" (i.e., choose the right spouse), not when you try to force yourself to live with a bad choice - "because of the children," or whatever.

I'm very glad you brought up this topic. I wish I could write a book for young people on how to.. .not so much find the perfect spouse (Who could write that book but God?) but on how to NOT marry the wrong one. I've been in horrible relationships and I made up my mind when they ended to learn what I could from the experience. Maybe I learned too well because today I avoid relationships of a romantic nature like I would the plague. Yes, I get lonely sometimes, but that is better than being stuck with someone who is.. well, you mentioned someone being married to a nutcase. . Better a nutcase than the non-Christian (to put it mildly) people I got involved with. Thanks to Jesus, I've been celibate more than 2 decades. See, everyone! You can actually live without an intimate relationship! I lived to tell about it. I mean, nowadays everyone acts like there is something wrong w/ you for being alone so long.. No, there was something wrong with me before Jesus and His Church intervened.

 

[forkintheroad7]

Remove idealism from the picture. Remove government from the picture. Before a woman marries, what are the legal assurances she is going to want from the man if he decides to walk out? What is the man going to want? Before marrying, they each sign the legal agreement. They decide beforehand if wages will be garnished, how the property will be divided, and child support/visitation. Either can still walk out any time he/she decides--but they know beforehand how much it's going to hurt both themselves and the other.

Good advice. When people are in love they don't often think of these practical issues. But they definitely should because, even though I've never been married, I know one thing about marriage: people change afterwards.

 

[forkintheroad7]

I often have wondered if my parents were in that category mentioned by OP of staying together for the sake of the (many) children. I often wonder if they ever REALLY loved each other, or at least love ea other the way they should have. One was raised w/o any religion to speak of and the other was raised Catholic.

Guess which parent had the most serious psychological issues?

I was going to say just how serious those were but I guess that may be considered gossiping or something...

Suffice it to say that I believe the Catholic one wanted to walk away numerous times but they stayed together for the sake of the children (a presumption of mine. There isn't much communication in that family).

Some of the children and grandchildren didn't turn out so well...

 

[80zephyr]

I'm very glad you brought up this topic. I wish I could write a book for young people on how to.. .not so much find the perfect spouse (Who could write that book but God?) but on how to NOT marry the wrong one. I've been in horrible relationships and I made up my mind when they ended to learn what I could from the experience. Maybe I learned too well because today I avoid relationships of a romantic nature like I would the plague. Yes, I get lonely sometimes, but that is better than being stuck with someone who is.. well, you mentioned someone being married to a nutcase. . Better a nutcase than the non-Christian (to put it mildly) people I got involved with. Thanks to Jesus, I've been celibate more than 2 decades. See, everyone! You can actually live without an intimate relationship! I lived to tell about it. I mean, nowadays everyone acts like there is something wrong w/ you for being alone so long.. No, there was something wrong with me before Jesus and His Church intervened.

So you believe Jesus thinks you should be alone?

 

[forkintheroad7]

So you believe Jesus thinks you should be alone?

absolutely.

I'm "too religious" for some folks.... for one thing

 

[Concerned American]

I'm 47 years into a life sentence myself.

I can't think of but one of my peers that remained married to the same woman. He died a couple of years back.

Same here. Of all of the couples that married during our youth, only two couples and us are still living and married after 49 years. One more would be, but he died.

 

[Unkotare]

Someone decided to commemorate their marriage by posting here? What a ******* douche bag.

 

[Admiral Rockwell Tory]

Divorce should be made easier, quicker, and cheaper. Either that or the marrisge rate needs tto drop precipitously. Either way is positive.

Methuselah, you never fail to prove you are a crusty old hermit who generally hates people. Is your picture by "curmudgeon" in the dictionary entry?

You still need to get your spellcheck working BTW.

 

[Zebra]

So you believe Jesus thinks you should be alone?

did he?

 

[80zephyr]

did he?

Not sure what you are asking?

 

[Zebra]

So you believe Jesus thinks you should be alone?

does Jesus think so?

 

[80zephyr]

does Jesus think so?

I don't know, thats why I was asking.