Love and sex

[G.T.]

i love lots of people that i dont want to have sex with.... or be married to.

and i wouldnt wanna marry everyone i love ...what, then, can seperate whom id marry from others i love?


ohhhh....sex prolly.

if it(sex) isnt compatable we arent talking marriage, we're talking strong friendship.

gotta check that out 1st before committing for life. itd be sillyness not to.

And if, God forbid, something happens to you or your spouse that ends the sex? Does that mean the marriage is over?

And seriously, for the life of me, I can't understand how other people are having sex that it has some mystical "compatibility" component. What is THAT all about? Do you find the person attractive or repulsive? If the answer is "attractive", then you've got your compatibility, and the rest is a matter of learning and growing together.

Meanwhile, that "strong friendship" you talk about so disparagingly is exactly what you SHOULD be working for in a long-term relationship.

i didnt disparage anything

Yes, you did. You may not have meant to, but that's what it comes down to anyway. You very clearly consider that relationship to be somehow less than the infatuation of physical arousal.

yeah, without physical arousal..no marriage is all i said.

then...we are just friends...

which my SPOUse is ALSO my friend. but uh...we shag alot

 

[Cecilie1200]

i love lots of people that i dont want to have sex with.... or be married to.

and i wouldnt wanna marry everyone i love ...what, then, can seperate whom id marry from others i love?


ohhhh....sex prolly.

if it(sex) isnt compatable we arent talking marriage, we're talking strong friendship.

gotta check that out 1st before committing for life. itd be sillyness not to.

And if, God forbid, something happens to you or your spouse that ends the sex? Does that mean the marriage is over?

And seriously, for the life of me, I can't understand how other people are having sex that it has some mystical "compatibility" component. What is THAT all about? Do you find the person attractive or repulsive? If the answer is "attractive", then you've got your compatibility, and the rest is a matter of learning and growing together.

Meanwhile, that "strong friendship" you talk about so disparagingly is exactly what you SHOULD be working for in a long-term relationship.

i didnt disparage anything

Yes, you did. You may not have meant to, but that's what it comes down to anyway. You very clearly consider that relationship to be somehow less than the infatuation of physical arousal.

yeah, without physical arousal..no marriage is all i said.

then...we are just friends...

which my SPOUse is ALSO my friend. but uh...we shag alot

Well, one would hope, assuming no physical impairment of either of you. Nevertheless, my earlier question still stands. If you find the person attractive, exactly what other "compatibility" do you need to test out to decide if you want to be married?

For the record, I married my husband two months after I met him. Never had sex with him until our wedding night. Spent those two months very carefully learning all manner of things about him, but sex was not one of those things. Twenty-three years later, our marriage is the envy of everyone we know, without having ever been especially sexual in nature.

 

[G.T.]

i love lots of people that i dont want to have sex with.... or be married to.

and i wouldnt wanna marry everyone i love ...what, then, can seperate whom id marry from others i love?


ohhhh....sex prolly.

if it(sex) isnt compatable we arent talking marriage, we're talking strong friendship.

gotta check that out 1st before committing for life. itd be sillyness not to.

And if, God forbid, something happens to you or your spouse that ends the sex? Does that mean the marriage is over?

And seriously, for the life of me, I can't understand how other people are having sex that it has some mystical "compatibility" component. What is THAT all about? Do you find the person attractive or repulsive? If the answer is "attractive", then you've got your compatibility, and the rest is a matter of learning and growing together.

Meanwhile, that "strong friendship" you talk about so disparagingly is exactly what you SHOULD be working for in a long-term relationship.

i didnt disparage anything

Yes, you did. You may not have meant to, but that's what it comes down to anyway. You very clearly consider that relationship to be somehow less than the infatuation of physical arousal.

yeah, without physical arousal..no marriage is all i said.

then...we are just friends...

which my SPOUse is ALSO my friend. but uh...we shag alot

Well, one would hope, assuming no physical impairment of either of you. Nevertheless, my earlier question still stands. If you find the person attractive, exactly what other "compatibility" do you need to test out to decide if you want to be married?

For the record, I married my husband two months after I met him. Never had sex with him until our wedding night. Spent those two months very carefully learning all manner of things about him, but sex was not one of those things. Twenty-three years later, our marriage is the envy of everyone we know, without having ever been especially sexual in nature.

I have to know that theyre the personality I clique with in an unrelenting fashion, and also wanna take all their clothes off and scrooge mcduckumm all over the moneybin.

I landed pretty close, we've been through some stuff and kept the knot up.

 

[Cecilie1200]

And if, God forbid, something happens to you or your spouse that ends the sex? Does that mean the marriage is over?

And seriously, for the life of me, I can't understand how other people are having sex that it has some mystical "compatibility" component. What is THAT all about? Do you find the person attractive or repulsive? If the answer is "attractive", then you've got your compatibility, and the rest is a matter of learning and growing together.

Meanwhile, that "strong friendship" you talk about so disparagingly is exactly what you SHOULD be working for in a long-term relationship.

i didnt disparage anything

Yes, you did. You may not have meant to, but that's what it comes down to anyway. You very clearly consider that relationship to be somehow less than the infatuation of physical arousal.

yeah, without physical arousal..no marriage is all i said.

then...we are just friends...

which my SPOUse is ALSO my friend. but uh...we shag alot

Well, one would hope, assuming no physical impairment of either of you. Nevertheless, my earlier question still stands. If you find the person attractive, exactly what other "compatibility" do you need to test out to decide if you want to be married?

For the record, I married my husband two months after I met him. Never had sex with him until our wedding night. Spent those two months very carefully learning all manner of things about him, but sex was not one of those things. Twenty-three years later, our marriage is the envy of everyone we know, without having ever been especially sexual in nature.

I have to know that theyre the personality I clique with in an unrelenting fashion, and also wanna take all their clothes off and scrooge mcduckumm all over the moneybin.

I landed pretty close, we've been through some stuff and kept the knot up.

Cannot fathom being that concerned about sex one way or another, and mind you, I was always the spouse with the higher sex drive in my marriage.

 

[G.T.]

i didnt disparage anything

Yes, you did. You may not have meant to, but that's what it comes down to anyway. You very clearly consider that relationship to be somehow less than the infatuation of physical arousal.

yeah, without physical arousal..no marriage is all i said.

then...we are just friends...

which my SPOUse is ALSO my friend. but uh...we shag alot

Well, one would hope, assuming no physical impairment of either of you. Nevertheless, my earlier question still stands. If you find the person attractive, exactly what other "compatibility" do you need to test out to decide if you want to be married?

For the record, I married my husband two months after I met him. Never had sex with him until our wedding night. Spent those two months very carefully learning all manner of things about him, but sex was not one of those things. Twenty-three years later, our marriage is the envy of everyone we know, without having ever been especially sexual in nature.

I have to know that theyre the personality I clique with in an unrelenting fashion, and also wanna take all their clothes off and scrooge mcduckumm all over the moneybin.

I landed pretty close, we've been through some stuff and kept the knot up.

Cannot fathom being that concerned about sex one way or another, and mind you, I was always the spouse with the higher sex drive in my marriage.

Well... i guess if yours is the mole hill then mine must be Everest

 

[Cecilie1200]

Yes, you did. You may not have meant to, but that's what it comes down to anyway. You very clearly consider that relationship to be somehow less than the infatuation of physical arousal.

yeah, without physical arousal..no marriage is all i said.

then...we are just friends...

which my SPOUse is ALSO my friend. but uh...we shag alot

Well, one would hope, assuming no physical impairment of either of you. Nevertheless, my earlier question still stands. If you find the person attractive, exactly what other "compatibility" do you need to test out to decide if you want to be married?

For the record, I married my husband two months after I met him. Never had sex with him until our wedding night. Spent those two months very carefully learning all manner of things about him, but sex was not one of those things. Twenty-three years later, our marriage is the envy of everyone we know, without having ever been especially sexual in nature.

I have to know that theyre the personality I clique with in an unrelenting fashion, and also wanna take all their clothes off and scrooge mcduckumm all over the moneybin.

I landed pretty close, we've been through some stuff and kept the knot up.

Cannot fathom being that concerned about sex one way or another, and mind you, I was always the spouse with the higher sex drive in my marriage.

Well... i guess if yours is the mole hill then mine must be Everest

Who said molehill? I just have priorities that take precedence over sex. I was far more interested in choosing a husband who was going to be a good father and solid life partner than I was in choosing the most exciting person to sleep with.

 

[G.T.]

yeah, without physical arousal..no marriage is all i said.

then...we are just friends...

which my SPOUse is ALSO my friend. but uh...we shag alot

Well, one would hope, assuming no physical impairment of either of you. Nevertheless, my earlier question still stands. If you find the person attractive, exactly what other "compatibility" do you need to test out to decide if you want to be married?

For the record, I married my husband two months after I met him. Never had sex with him until our wedding night. Spent those two months very carefully learning all manner of things about him, but sex was not one of those things. Twenty-three years later, our marriage is the envy of everyone we know, without having ever been especially sexual in nature.

I have to know that theyre the personality I clique with in an unrelenting fashion, and also wanna take all their clothes off and scrooge mcduckumm all over the moneybin.

I landed pretty close, we've been through some stuff and kept the knot up.

Cannot fathom being that concerned about sex one way or another, and mind you, I was always the spouse with the higher sex drive in my marriage.

Well... i guess if yours is the mole hill then mine must be Everest

Who said molehill? I just have priorities that take precedence over sex. I was far more interested in choosing a husband who was going to be a good father and solid life partner than I was in choosing the most exciting person to sleep with.

if someones only criteria was "the most exciting person to sleep with" theyd have an aweful sad golden years

 

[Cecilie1200]

Well, one would hope, assuming no physical impairment of either of you. Nevertheless, my earlier question still stands. If you find the person attractive, exactly what other "compatibility" do you need to test out to decide if you want to be married?

For the record, I married my husband two months after I met him. Never had sex with him until our wedding night. Spent those two months very carefully learning all manner of things about him, but sex was not one of those things. Twenty-three years later, our marriage is the envy of everyone we know, without having ever been especially sexual in nature.

I have to know that theyre the personality I clique with in an unrelenting fashion, and also wanna take all their clothes off and scrooge mcduckumm all over the moneybin.

I landed pretty close, we've been through some stuff and kept the knot up.

Cannot fathom being that concerned about sex one way or another, and mind you, I was always the spouse with the higher sex drive in my marriage.

Well... i guess if yours is the mole hill then mine must be Everest

Who said molehill? I just have priorities that take precedence over sex. I was far more interested in choosing a husband who was going to be a good father and solid life partner than I was in choosing the most exciting person to sleep with.

if someones only criteria was "the most exciting person to sleep with" theyd have an aweful sad golden years

You just slobbered a bibful THAT time, as my mother would say.

As much of a pain in the ass as it occasionally was to work around the differences in our libidos, it would have been a far, FAR greater pain in the ass to deal with the calamities that have fallen into my life without a solid, dependable rock to stand beside me. And I can state categorically that I would be so much less as a person than I am today, had it not been for my husband's constant belief that I already WAS that person.

I listen to people talk about sex as though it's THE major, primary component of marriage, and I genuinely don't even understand what language they're speaking, let alone what they're talking about.

 

[G.T.]

I have to know that theyre the personality I clique with in an unrelenting fashion, and also wanna take all their clothes off and scrooge mcduckumm all over the moneybin.

I landed pretty close, we've been through some stuff and kept the knot up.

Cannot fathom being that concerned about sex one way or another, and mind you, I was always the spouse with the higher sex drive in my marriage.

Well... i guess if yours is the mole hill then mine must be Everest

Who said molehill? I just have priorities that take precedence over sex. I was far more interested in choosing a husband who was going to be a good father and solid life partner than I was in choosing the most exciting person to sleep with.

if someones only criteria was "the most exciting person to sleep with" theyd have an aweful sad golden years

You just slobbered a bibful THAT time, as my mother would say.

As much of a pain in the ass as it occasionally was to work around the differences in our libidos, it would have been a far, FAR greater pain in the ass to deal with the calamities that have fallen into my life without a solid, dependable rock to stand beside me. And I can state categorically that I would be so much less as a person than I am today, had it not been for my husband's constant belief that I already WAS that person.

I listen to people talk about sex as though it's THE major, primary component of marriage, and I genuinely don't even understand what language they're speaking, let alone what they're talking about.

"I like big butts, and I CANNOT LIE." - Sir Mix a Lot

 

[Bob Blaylock]

So tell me, my fellow member of the Two-Decade Club, what was YOUR best and worst experience of marriage, if you don't mind sharing? I think a more balanced view of committed life-building might be of use.

I wouldn't know how to even begin to answer that. All I can really say on the subject is that my experience, in my marriage, has covered a much broader range than the range between our worst argument and our best sex.

 

[evenflow1969]

i love lots of people that i dont want to have sex with.... or be married to.

and i wouldnt wanna marry everyone i love ...what, then, can seperate whom id marry from others i love?


ohhhh....sex prolly.

if it(sex) isnt compatable we arent talking marriage, we're talking strong friendship.

gotta check that out 1st before committing for life. itd be sillyness not to.

Is love sex?

I can answer that one. No sex is not love! My wife balled the shit out of me, but I sincerely doubt she ever loved!

 

[Cecilie1200]

So tell me, my fellow member of the Two-Decade Club, what was YOUR best and worst experience of marriage, if you don't mind sharing? I think a more balanced view of committed life-building might be of use.

I wouldn't know how to even begin to answer that. All I can really say on the subject is that my experience, in my marriage, has covered a much broader range than the range between our worst argument and our best sex.

I can see that. After 23 years, it's hard to even pick and choose. I've lost track of the number of times I've looked at my husband and thought, "Dear God, I would be so lost right now if I hadn't married you."

 

[MizMolly]

Many rag on the Bible for demanding that people be celibate, except for in the case of marriage.

However, what is better? Is it better going around having sex with people you are not in love with or is it better saying you love them but are not really committed to them. Is that really love?

My mother used to say, you wouldn't buy a shoe before trying it on. LOL

 

[watchingfromafar]

When I was very young, I believed love making was for the procreation of children. That’s how I got here as well as my other three brothers and a sister. It was the natural flow of life.

This is how I lived my life; which gave me two sons and a happy marriage; the term “sex” never entered my mind.

Now with my wife gone and my children having children of their own the need for comfort still exists, so I am here to ask;

Is wanting the comfort of a woman knowing you have no intention of having children in the process a bad thing---

Is this a sin--?

 

[Vastator]

The more sexual partners a woman experiences, lowers her ability to pair bond.
Pair- bonding and the Brain | Medical Institute for Sexual Health

 

[Toro]

Many rag on the Bible for demanding that people be celibate, except for in the case of marriage.

However, what is better? Is it better going around having sex with people you are not in love with or is it better saying you love them but are not really committed to them. Is that really love?

Yes.

Next question.

 

[TNHarley]

You should bang as many chicks as you can before you get married.

 

[Toro]

You should bang as many chicks as you can before you get married.

Wisest words ever written upstairs.

 

[TNHarley]

The more sexual partners a woman experiences, lowers her ability to pair bond.

Ive seen hoes turn into housewives

 

[Vastator]

The more sexual partners a woman experiences, lowers her ability to pair bond.

Ive seen hoes turn into housewives

No you haven’t...