- Nov 26, 2011
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The election is quite close now, and I can already see the stupidity level escalating into the stratosphere. I thought things were bad before, but this is ridiculous.
It seems the closeness of the election is inversely proportional to the intelligence level of the discourse in our nation's political landscape.
By the end of October, we will be arguing over whether Obama puts his left pants leg on first and what that means about his commie tendences. We will be haggling over what shade of blonde Ann Romney's hair is, and her colorist's name will be submitted as evidence the Romney's stab the poor with dull rusty scissors in their spare time.
We will be arguing over how many puppies Obama threw into rush hour traffic in the lead-up to the subprime crisis.
It goes without saying the bigotry toward homos, negroes, and Muslims will become unabashedly naked.
God help either candidate if one of them sneezes during a public appearance. Sixty-five million emails and internet topics will blister over the inappropriateness of The Big Sneeze. "It just proves he DOES NOT CARE!!!!"
Michelle Obama's lips during a Halloween celebration at the White House with children will be interpreted on Fox News as saying "We need to put all white people in gas chambers as soon as the election is over."
Expect at least fourteen more links to opinion articles about someone's "gaffe" between now and the big day.
Expect at least two hundred and four topics on this forum about having to produce an ID to buy alcohol.
Expect fifty-nine topics about Romney's lux lifestyle.
Every time someone's poll number moves a single point in either direction, expect six simultaneous topics about it, with each one predicting a landslide for their candidate.
Expect two members of Congress to say or do something really dumb between now and November, and expect the partisans of the opposite party to blow that up into representing every single last member of the politician's party.
Everyone will declare their candidate won the debates and that he will win in a landslide because of it.
And, of course, no matter how big the fuckup, no one will be caught dead admitting their side got something wrong. That would be a miracle on the order of parting the Red Sea.
Perhaps I will avoid the politics section here until after the Election and do something more healthy, like stick needles in my eyes.
.
It seems the closeness of the election is inversely proportional to the intelligence level of the discourse in our nation's political landscape.
By the end of October, we will be arguing over whether Obama puts his left pants leg on first and what that means about his commie tendences. We will be haggling over what shade of blonde Ann Romney's hair is, and her colorist's name will be submitted as evidence the Romney's stab the poor with dull rusty scissors in their spare time.
We will be arguing over how many puppies Obama threw into rush hour traffic in the lead-up to the subprime crisis.
It goes without saying the bigotry toward homos, negroes, and Muslims will become unabashedly naked.
God help either candidate if one of them sneezes during a public appearance. Sixty-five million emails and internet topics will blister over the inappropriateness of The Big Sneeze. "It just proves he DOES NOT CARE!!!!"
Michelle Obama's lips during a Halloween celebration at the White House with children will be interpreted on Fox News as saying "We need to put all white people in gas chambers as soon as the election is over."
Expect at least fourteen more links to opinion articles about someone's "gaffe" between now and the big day.
Expect at least two hundred and four topics on this forum about having to produce an ID to buy alcohol.
Expect fifty-nine topics about Romney's lux lifestyle.
Every time someone's poll number moves a single point in either direction, expect six simultaneous topics about it, with each one predicting a landslide for their candidate.
Expect two members of Congress to say or do something really dumb between now and November, and expect the partisans of the opposite party to blow that up into representing every single last member of the politician's party.
Everyone will declare their candidate won the debates and that he will win in a landslide because of it.
And, of course, no matter how big the fuckup, no one will be caught dead admitting their side got something wrong. That would be a miracle on the order of parting the Red Sea.
Perhaps I will avoid the politics section here until after the Election and do something more healthy, like stick needles in my eyes.
.
