"Just Because He Breathes: Learning To Truly Love Our Gay Son"

[Sunni Man]

I'll be more respectful when you stop acting like a child and using derogatory and hateful words to express your opinion. Until then, get out.

I don't remember using any hateful words to describe the homos and their perverted lifestyle? ...

Maybe you have me confused with someone else?? ..

 

[mack20]

I'll be more respectful when you stop acting like a child and using derogatory and hateful words to express your opinion. Until then, get out.

I don't remember using any hateful words to describe the homos and their perverted lifestyle? ...

Maybe you have me confused with someone else?? ..

I do not, you are being a child.

 

[koshergrl]

You are adding nothing of value to this conversation. Come back when you can act like an adult.

Just because you don't agree with my stance on this issue.

Doesn't give you license to act so immature and condescending towards other posters. ...

Who's acting immature?

The answer to that question is always..

You are, bode.

 

[rdean]

The kid betrayed his parents by becoming a faggot.

Yea, he is still their child but that doesn't mean they have to accept his perversion.

Plus the parents shouldn't feel guilty or responsible for his death.

Many kids that aren't homos have trouble with drug abuse.

Would you want your sister or daughter to marry a "formerly" gay man?

 

[rdean]

You are adding nothing of value to this conversation. Come back when you can act like an adult.

Just because you don't agree with my stance on this issue.

Doesn't give you license to act so immature and condescending towards other posters. ...

I don't get it. You seem to me to represent the vast majority of American right wingers. People should accept you for what ever it is you are and then arm themselves.

 

[bodecea]

Just because you don't agree with my stance on this issue.

Doesn't give you license to act so immature and condescending towards other posters. ...

Who's acting immature?

The answer to that question is always..

You are, bode.

Oh, while you are here...you made some accusations about me and I asked you to provide some proof. And then you disappeared from the thread.....why is that?

 

[Quantum Windbag]

The problem with some (perhaps most) Christians is that they get hung up on the letter of the law and fail to understand the heart of the law.

Anyone that thins it is easy to separate the letter (action) from the heart (love) is a either a liar or a fool.

 

[Destroyer2]

I'm glad that these people realized they needed to leave the book behind in favor of the life and happiness of their son. It's very unfortunate that they were too late, but nonetheless, it was a heartwarming read.

That, my friends, is true family values.

 

[Quantum Windbag]

Tragic about the son, but no sympathy here for the parents if they had to 'learn how to love their gay son.' If love is conditional, it isn't love.

Didn't read the story, did you?

 

[Quantum Windbag]

Parents can love their children and still not accept their behavior as normal. Jeffrey Dahmer's mother loved him up to the day he was murdered.

Plenty of parents love children who behave in all kinds of reprehensible ways. They still don't accept their children are acting normally.

This boy was mentally ill. His homosexuality might have been a manifestation of such mental illness as was his drug and alcohol addictions. That's what killed him. Not his parents. Like a lot of addicts, as soon as they get clean, they move right back into the circle of friends and lifestyle that contributed to making them so sick in the first place. This kid is really no different that Hugh O'Connor, a drug addict who also committed suicide, without being gay, and with a very loving and supportive family.

I'm wondering if you even read the full article. Attitudes like yours are part of the problem, not the solution.

Though honestly, I've seen some of the disturbing things you've written on this board and between you and Ryan, if I was to make claims of mental illness I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be choosing him.

Did you read the whole article? Just asking because I am wondering how you feel about the fact that, through all of this, the parents continue to acknowledge that sexual preference is a choice that violates the law of God. The only thing that changed is that they actually understand that sexual preference isn't the worst thing in the universe.

 

[Quantum Windbag]

I'm wondering if you even read the full article. Attitudes like yours are part of the problem, not the solution.

Though honestly, I've seen some of the disturbing things you've written on this board and between you and Ryan, if I was to make claims of mental illness I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be choosing him.

I read the full article. They had a gay son who was also a drug addict. They tried. Like a lot of parents they found that they could not love their child out of drug addiction which is what ultimately killed him. Drugs kill a lot of young people, gay, not gay, even some perfectly nice people. The parents are looking to place blame on themselves, if only they had accepted his gayness earlier, if only if only. At some point, even gay people are going to have to accept responsibility for their own behavior. They are gay, not everyone is going to like it. Even parents that still love them may not love their behavior. The parents of criminals have to deal with this every day. They have a child they love. That child does unacceptable things. You do what you can.

The boy could not move beyond his cricle of druggie friends. That's what killed him. He ended up dead like Hugh O'Connor, Amy Winehouse, Janis Joplin, Whitney Houston it's a list that gets longer every day. Mindy McCready shot herself in the head due to drugs and addiction. Would it have made any difference if she had been gay? No. She was loved too. Love cannot stop a self destructive person from being self destructive no matter how parents want to make it their fault.

He wasn't a drug addict until they had spent 6 years telling him that he had to choose between his faith and his sexuality though.

And I'd appreciate it if you would stop comparing him to criminals. It's very interesting to hear what you came away from this article with. It differs greatly from myself.

The same idiots that insist that being gay is genetic tell me that being an addict is genetic. By that logic, he was born an addict.

 

[Quantum Windbag]

According to the article he was over the legal age of 18 when he overdosed.

That makes him an adult and his actions not the responsibility of the parents. ...

Which is the problem with what these parents are doing. They want to deny that their son had any choice in anything in what happened in his life. I think that's an insult to their son. He made his own choices. He is accountable for his actions. Not them.

All of us can second guess what we teach others until the end of time. But we cannot make their choices. They alone as individuals make their choices.

I also highly disagree with this idea that our sexuality is who we are. It's merely something we do and feel. It's a physical impulse. We are something far greater.

I find it absolutely offensive to presume that simply because I like the curvature of a woman's body that somehow defines who I am. I am much more than my hormonal impulse.

I am not my body. Nor am I my thoughts. my body is just my external clothing. And my thoughts can be all over the place. Ive thought many things only to come to the conclusion that that thought is wrong and correct it with better thinking.

That is the biggest problem I have with our culture. We are defined by what we do, not who we are. Sexuality has morphed from something private into something to be admired. It should be private, nit public, and people should be admired for who they are, not who they sleep with.

 

[Quantum Windbag]

According to the article he was over the legal age of 18 when he overdosed.

That makes him an adult and his actions not the responsibility of the parents. ...

Which is the problem with what these parents are doing. They want to deny that their son had any choice in anything in what happened in his life. I think that's an insult to their son. He made his own choices. He is accountable for his actions. Not them.

All of us can second guess what we teach others until the end of time. But we cannot make their choices. They alone as individuals make their choices.

I also highly disagree with this idea that our sexuality is who we are. It's merely something we do and feel. It's a physical impulse. We are something far greater.

I find it absolutely offensive to presume that simply because I like the curvature of a woman's body that somehow defines who I am. I am much more than my hormonal impulse.

I am not my body. Nor am I my thoughts. my body is just my external clothing. And my thoughts can be all over the place. Ive thought many things only to come to the conclusion that that thought is wrong and correct it with better thinking.

I think that's it's easy to say "he was 18, made his choices, lol, no fault of yours parents!". And I realize that none of us actually know this family and we're all basing our conclusions on a short story told by Ryan's mother, but personally I see so much sadness in the entire thing.

You have an 18 year old yes, but it's an 18 year old who has spent some of his most difficult formative years (12-18) being told that he must choose between the faith he desperately desires and the sexuality he knows to be true. That if God really loves him, he'll take away the gayness and make him straight and normal. That if he just wants it badly enough, he can be holy and spiritual and a true child of God. And then he does what he thinks are all the right things; he follows the books, he reads the testimonies, he pleads with God to change him. And nothing changes. His God, the God he loves, the God he trusts and desperately believes in, doesn't answer him. For 6 years, He doesn't answer him. And so he begins to believe that he's not, in fact, meant to be a child of God. I can imagine that that's a devastating conclusion for someone whose faith has been that much of who they are.

I have family members who have dealt with rejection in a similarly frightening way. It wasn't a rejection of faith, but I will say that it was a younger male dealing with depression and rejection issues who turned to drugs and alcohol as a crutch. He's a really, genuinely good kid who has struggled with things that I can't entirely understand and it has been a battle getting him back. So maybe this story hits a bit closer to home for me than most on certain levels.

There is where you are wrong.

The choice that was forced upon him was between his faith and the popular culture that told him that his desires were hardwired into his DNA, and impossible to resist. His parents could have handled it differently, but what they told him is not what convinced him he had no hope of ever being anything else. If you want to apportion blame to people outside that boy's head you need to point a finger at the people that told him that who he sleeps with is more important than his emotional health.

No, I am not saying that being gay is a mental disorder, I am saying that insisting that people cannot make choices, and that their lack of ability to chose defines who they are. Anyone that thinks that is a ticket to mental health is beyond stupid.

 

[Quantum Windbag]

No parent want's to find out that their kid has decided to become a fudge packer.

So of course the parents were hurt and rejected his perversion.

As a typical homo he expect everyone to support his deviant lifestyle.

And wanted to blame everyone except himself. ...

Whether he expected anyone to accept his lifestyle is debatable. But I'm pretty sure he expected his parents to love him.

And they should have, regardless.

They did, they just taught him socially unacceptable values, and that dichotomy drove him crazy.

 

[Quantum Windbag]

The kid betrayed his parents by becoming a faggot.

Yea, he is still their child but that doesn't mean they have to accept his perversion.

Plus the parents shouldn't feel guilty or responsible for his death.

Many kids that aren't homos have trouble with drug abuse.

Would you want your sister or daughter to marry a "formerly" gay man?

It would be better than marrying a current Democrat.

 

[S.J.]

The problem with some (perhaps most) Christians is that they get hung up on the letter of the law and fail to understand the heart of the law.

Anyone that thins it is easy to separate the letter (action) from the heart (love) is a either a liar or a fool.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23vBzocKINU]Jesus PWNED the Pharisees WHY are we not doing the same? - YouTube[/ame]

 

[Luddly Neddite]

Tragic about the son, but no sympathy here for the parents if they had to 'learn how to love their gay son.' If love is conditional, it isn't love.

Exactly.

No parent would have to learn to love their gay child.

A real parent already would love their child, gay or straight.

SO sick of these cafeteria christians literally spitting in the face of their own god and then whining about it. Their son is better off without them.

 

[Quantum Windbag]

The problem with some (perhaps most) Christians is that they get hung up on the letter of the law and fail to understand the heart of the law.

Anyone that thins it is easy to separate the letter (action) from the heart (love) is a either a liar or a fool.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23vBzocKINU"]Jesus PWNED the Pharisees WHY are we not doing the same? - YouTube[/ame]

Does that mean you agree with me when I argue that being polite is not a requirement of being a Christian, or is it a lame attempt to get me to back down?

 

[S.J.]

Anyone that thins it is easy to separate the letter (action) from the heart (love) is a either a liar or a fool.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23vBzocKINU"]Jesus PWNED the Pharisees WHY are we not doing the same? - YouTube[/ame]

Does that mean you agree with me when I argue that being polite is not a requirement of being a Christian, or is it a lame attempt to get me to back down?

Neither. I was explaining what I meant and where my comment originated. The parents were focusing on the letter of the law (homosexuality being wrong) and violating the heart of the law (loving their son unconditionally without judging him). I wasn't criticizing you, why the hostility?

 

[Avatar4321]

Tragic about the son, but no sympathy here for the parents if they had to 'learn how to love their gay son.' If love is conditional, it isn't love.

Exactly.

No parent would have to learn to love their gay child.

A real parent already would love their child, gay or straight.

SO sick of these cafeteria christians literally spitting in the face of their own god and then whining about it. Their son is better off without them.

Their son is dead...