"Just Because He Breathes: Learning To Truly Love Our Gay Son"

[mack20]

Sad to see my prediction come true.

Not surprising, but agreed.

 

[Avatar4321]

I have to wonder why anyone has to learn to love their child. It doesn't matter what they do wrong, and they will do something wrong, you should learn very early to love them no matter what.

I don't understand why some act as if having same sex attraction is some unforgiveable sin. Sin is sin. But all of it can be forgiven save for Blasphemy of the Holy Ghost. Should I stop loving my child because she gets into drugs? or starts engaging in premarital sex? or because she has an affair with her spouse? Do I have to approve of everything she does to love her? Do I hate her if I try to persuade her to follow Christ and turn away from her sins just as I have had to do? Just like everyone who comes to Christ does? Should I hate her if she does something wrong?

I don't understand this reasoning at all. We are taught by Christ to love one another no matter what. We are taught we need to repent regardless of what our sin is. This is the struggle everyone in this world has, regardless of what their sins are.

If you don't love someone because of their behavior, you need to learn to love them. This is especially true with family members. It can also be the most difficult with family members because loving them can hurt you the most.

 

[Avatar4321]

Sad to see my prediction come true.

What prediction is that considering this is the first post you've made in the thread?

 

[mack20]

Sad to see my prediction come true.

What prediction is that considering this is the first post you've made in the thread?

It was something he said to me in a rep. It was nothing important, but I won't share it unless he okays it.

 

[Avatar4321]

According to the article he was over the legal age of 18 when he overdosed.

That makes him an adult and his actions not the responsibility of the parents. ...

Which is the problem with what these parents are doing. They want to deny that their son had any choice in anything in what happened in his life. I think that's an insult to their son. He made his own choices. He is accountable for his actions. Not them.

All of us can second guess what we teach others until the end of time. But we cannot make their choices. They alone as individuals make their choices.

I also highly disagree with this idea that our sexuality is who we are. It's merely something we do and feel. It's a physical impulse. We are something far greater.

I find it absolutely offensive to presume that simply because I like the curvature of a woman's body that somehow defines who I am. I am much more than my hormonal impulse.

I am not my body. Nor am I my thoughts. my body is just my external clothing. And my thoughts can be all over the place. Ive thought many things only to come to the conclusion that that thought is wrong and correct it with better thinking.

 

[Avatar4321]

Sad to see my prediction come true.

What prediction is that considering this is the first post you've made in the thread?

It was something he said to me in a rep. It was nothing important, but I won't share it unless he okays it.

That explains that, I thought I had missed something.

 

[koshergrl]

I'm wondering if you even read the full article. Attitudes like yours are part of the problem, not the solution.

Though honestly, I've seen some of the disturbing things you've written on this board and between you and Ryan, if I was to make claims of mental illness I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be choosing him.

I read the full article. They had a gay son who was also a drug addict. They tried. Like a lot of parents they found that they could not love their child out of drug addiction which is what ultimately killed him. Drugs kill a lot of young people, gay, not gay, even some perfectly nice people. The parents are looking to place blame on themselves, if only they had accepted his gayness earlier, if only if only. At some point, even gay people are going to have to accept responsibility for their own behavior. They are gay, not everyone is going to like it. Even parents that still love them may not love their behavior. The parents of criminals have to deal with this every day. They have a child they love. That child does unacceptable things. You do what you can.

The boy could not move beyond his cricle of druggie friends. That's what killed him. He ended up dead like Hugh O'Connor, Amy Winehouse, Janis Joplin, Whitney Houston it's a list that gets longer every day. Mindy McCready shot herself in the head due to drugs and addiction. Would it have made any difference if she had been gay? No. She was loved too. Love cannot stop a self destructive person from being self destructive no matter how parents want to make it their fault.

He wasn't a drug addict until they had spent 6 years telling him that he had to choose between his faith and his sexuality though.

And I'd appreciate it if you would stop comparing him to criminals. It's very interesting to hear what you came away from this article with. It differs greatly from myself.

Drug addicts are criminals, by the very nature of their addiction.

Again...it's the lefty extremist insistence that if you correctly identify something, you're a *hater*.

 

[Sunni Man]

I also highly disagree with this idea that our sexuality is who we are.

Not according to the homos.

They demand that everyone view them in terms of their overt sexuality.

That's why homos have Gay Pride Parades and dress and act vulgar in public.

And want to force straight people by law to recognize their perversion as normal. ...

 

[mack20]

According to the article he was over the legal age of 18 when he overdosed.

That makes him an adult and his actions not the responsibility of the parents. ...

Which is the problem with what these parents are doing. They want to deny that their son had any choice in anything in what happened in his life. I think that's an insult to their son. He made his own choices. He is accountable for his actions. Not them.

All of us can second guess what we teach others until the end of time. But we cannot make their choices. They alone as individuals make their choices.

I also highly disagree with this idea that our sexuality is who we are. It's merely something we do and feel. It's a physical impulse. We are something far greater.

I find it absolutely offensive to presume that simply because I like the curvature of a woman's body that somehow defines who I am. I am much more than my hormonal impulse.

I am not my body. Nor am I my thoughts. my body is just my external clothing. And my thoughts can be all over the place. Ive thought many things only to come to the conclusion that that thought is wrong and correct it with better thinking.

I think that's it's easy to say "he was 18, made his choices, lol, no fault of yours parents!". And I realize that none of us actually know this family and we're all basing our conclusions on a short story told by Ryan's mother, but personally I see so much sadness in the entire thing.

You have an 18 year old yes, but it's an 18 year old who has spent some of his most difficult formative years (12-18) being told that he must choose between the faith he desperately desires and the sexuality he knows to be true. That if God really loves him, he'll take away the gayness and make him straight and normal. That if he just wants it badly enough, he can be holy and spiritual and a true child of God. And then he does what he thinks are all the right things; he follows the books, he reads the testimonies, he pleads with God to change him. And nothing changes. His God, the God he loves, the God he trusts and desperately believes in, doesn't answer him. For 6 years, He doesn't answer him. And so he begins to believe that he's not, in fact, meant to be a child of God. I can imagine that that's a devastating conclusion for someone whose faith has been that much of who they are.

I have family members who have dealt with rejection in a similarly frightening way. It wasn't a rejection of faith, but I will say that it was a younger male dealing with depression and rejection issues who turned to drugs and alcohol as a crutch. He's a really, genuinely good kid who has struggled with things that I can't entirely understand and it has been a battle getting him back. So maybe this story hits a bit closer to home for me than most on certain levels.

 

[mack20]

I also highly disagree with this idea that our sexuality is who we are.

Not according to the homos.

They demand that everyone view them in terms of their overt sexuality.

That's why homos have Gay Pride Parades and dress and act vulgar in public.

And want to force straight people by law to recognize their perversion as normal. ...

Out.

 

[Sunni Man]

No parent want's to find out that their kid has decided to become a fudge packer.

So of course the parents were hurt and rejected his perversion.

As a typical homo he expect everyone to support his deviant lifestyle.

And wanted to blame everyone except himself. ...

 

[bodecea]

I also highly disagree with this idea that our sexuality is who we are.

Not according to the homos.

They demand that everyone view them in terms of their overt sexuality.

That's why homos have Gay Pride Parades and dress and act vulgar in public.

And want to force straight people by law to recognize their perversion as normal. ...

So....that's why they have St. Patricks Day Parades...and Columbus Day Parades...and Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parades....and Mardi Gras Parades.....

 

[Sunni Man]

I also highly disagree with this idea that our sexuality is who we are.

Not according to the homos.

They demand that everyone view them in terms of their overt sexuality.

That's why homos have Gay Pride Parades and dress and act vulgar in public.

And want to force straight people by law to recognize their perversion as normal. ...

So....that's why they have St. Patricks Day Parades...and Columbus Day Parades...and Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parades....and Mardi Gras Parades.....

LOL.......that's quite a stretch .......even for you Bodey. ...

 

[WinterBorn]

Tragic about the son, but no sympathy here for the parents if they had to 'learn how to love their gay son.' If love is conditional, it isn't love.

THIS!! There is nothing my children can do that will make me not love them. I may not be thrilled with something they do, but I will always, always love them.

 

[WinterBorn]

No parent want's to find out that their kid has decided to become a fudge packer.

So of course the parents were hurt and rejected his perversion.

As a typical homo he expect everyone to support his deviant lifestyle.

And wanted to blame everyone except himself. ...

Whether he expected anyone to accept his lifestyle is debatable. But I'm pretty sure he expected his parents to love him.

And they should have, regardless.

 

[mack20]

More people apparently need to read the full article.

We said all the things that we thought loving Christian parents who believed the Bible, the Word of God, should say:

We love you. We will always love you. And this is hard. Really hard. But we know what God says about this, so you are going to have to make some really difficult choices.

We love you. We couldn't love you more. But there are other men who have faced this same struggle, and God has worked in them to change their desires. We'll get you their books; you can listen to their testimonies. And we will trust God with this.

We love you. We are so glad you are our son. But you are young, and your sexual orientation is still developing. The feelings you've had for other guys don't make you gay. So please don't tell anyone that you are gay. You don't know who you are yet. Your identity is not that you are gay; it is that you are a child of God.

We love you. Nothing will change that. But if you are going to follow Jesus, holiness is your only option. You are going to have to choose to follow Jesus, no matter what. And since you know what the Bible says, and since you want to follow God, embracing your sexuality is not an option.

 

[mack20]

No parent want's to find out that their kid has decided to become a fudge packer.

So of course the parents were hurt and rejected his perversion.

As a typical homo he expect everyone to support his deviant lifestyle.

And wanted to blame everyone except himself. ...

You are adding nothing of value to this conversation. Come back when you can act like an adult.

 

[Sunni Man]

You are adding nothing of value to this conversation. Come back when you can act like an adult.

Just because you don't agree with my stance on this issue.

Doesn't give you license to act so immature and condescending towards other posters. ...

 

[mack20]

You are adding nothing of value to this conversation. Come back when you can act like an adult.

Just because you don't agree with my stance on this issue.

Doesn't give you license to act so immature and condescending towards other posters. ...

I'll be more respectful when you stop acting like a child and using derogatory and hateful words to express your opinion. Until then, get out.

 

[bodecea]

You are adding nothing of value to this conversation. Come back when you can act like an adult.

Just because you don't agree with my stance on this issue.

Doesn't give you license to act so immature and condescending towards other posters. ...

Who's acting immature?