Jesus was the Thief.

[Mudda]

Jesus was a bonesmuggler, that's kind of a thief. A back door bandit!!!

 

[HaShev]

I know you're kidding, but one of the Christs used for his image was indeed that. There's some obvious proof of this in the NT and claims in non included gospels.
Since they paint a certain image on their figure they blind themselves to the open mentions of his sexuality.
Examples:
the missing portions of Mark it shows Jesus sleeping with a naked young rich man, but also the NT validates this:
"...there followed him a certain young man, having a linen cloth cast about his naked body; and the young men laid hold of him: And he left the linen cloth, and fled from them naked." (Mark 14:51-52). Was this the companion that Luke observed with Jesus inside the garden?

"...he that is courageous among the mighty shall flee away naked on that day..."(Amos 2:16----the Hebrew 'labab' translated 'flee away' here, actually means 'transported with love', and also 'ravished'). Now that certainly fits this episode of the young man fleeing away naked from Jesus outside the garden of Gethsemane.

Who was this young man if not perhaps the rich man whom "Then Jesus beholding him, loved him..."(Mark 10:21). Perhaps it was the rich man Lazarus, of whom "...he saith unto them, Our friend Lazarus sleepeth..."(John 11:11----The Greek 'philos' translated 'friend', also means 'dear' and 'fond of').