How Do You Address a Divorced Woman? (not humor)

[rtwngAvngr]

LOL! I don't HAVE to project. You're a misogynist. That comes across pretty clearly. And my boy has no holes in his heart. Again, thanks for your concern. :bj2:

No. Children need a mother's love. It's just that simple. If you feel that's some sort of BONDAGE, I pity your selfishness.

 

[jillian]

No. Children need a mother's love. It's just that simple. If you feel that's some sort of BONDAGE, I pity your selfishness.

I pity you for being a jerk. So there ya go. BTW, can you please edit that smilie thing. I corrected it on mine.

 

[Joz]

I think where our disagreement is lies in the fact that I don't see my "role" as being particularly different from my husband's.

There is no way you're husband will ever take your place. Never, ever. He will never be the mommy. A woman cares for herself, nuturing the child as he grows inside her. And with intense pain, she brings that child into the world. Upon entering the world, the baby knows who Mommy is from day one.
There is no greater bond than that of a mother & her child.

....I saw my grandmother move in with my family because she was incapable of caring for herself after my mom's dad passed away. I never wanted to be in that position.

I'm sure Grandma didn't want to be in that position, either. Sometimes we don't get to choose.

What I'm seeing from my friends who stayed home is that is very, very difficult, if not impossible. Just what I've observed.

Sure it's hard. I don't know anything that's easy in this world. But if the intent is to re-enter the work force, they have no choice but to keep current. But there are some women that have no intentions of ever going back to work; never doing anything but mommying.
But life can throw some pretty mean curveballs though; it never hurts to try & protect yourself.

 

[rtwngAvngr]

I pity you for being a jerk. So there ya go. BTW, can you please edit that smilie thing. I corrected it on mine.

That's right. I'm a jerk for bringing a study to your attention and saying there is no replacement for a mother's love.

 

[rtwngAvngr]

BTW, can you please edit that smilie thing. I corrected it on mine.

No. It's an honest freudian slip, indicating your desire for me!

 

[dilloduck]

I don't know how you got that from what I said but I'll give a stab at an explanation.

A marriage is a partnership, each with their particular roles. And these roles overlap with the ebb & flow of a relationship. Can you imagine a father not feeding his children when the mother is sick, throwing her guts up, because mommy fixes the meals?

When a couple decide that Daddy will go to a job and bring home money while Mommy stays home to care for the home and family, Daddy should not become a tyrant and expect Mommy to have to ask if she can buy herself a candybar. Nor if she allows the child to spend the night with his friend should she have to ask Daddy permission. Or if the kid needs his ass whipped, do it. Not say, "Wait til your father gets home". Just because a mother's job doesn't produce an income does not make it any less important.

Being part of the decision making process in raising your own child doesn't make you a tyrant. Being a breadwinner does not mean you have abdicated parental authority.

 

[jillian]

No. It's an honest freudian slip, indicating your desire for me!

In yur dreams.

 

[dilloduck]

No. It's an honest freudian slip, indicating your desire for me!

:teeth: you 2 would be such a cute couple !!

 

[Joz]

Being part of the decision making process in raising your own child doesn't make you a tyrant. Being a breadwinner does not mean you have abdicated parental authority.

No where in anything I've posted have I made any such claims.

 

[dilloduck]

No where in anything I've posted have I made any such claims.

Nor if she allows the child to spend the night with his friend should she have to ask Daddy permission

really?

 

[jillian]

:teeth: you 2 would be such a cute couple !!

 

[jillian]

really?

I don't know about anyone else, but my husband would be well and truly pissed if I made that kind of decision without him...and rightfully so.

 

[dilloduck]

I don't know about anyone else, but my husband would be well and truly pissed if I made that kind of decision without him...and rightfully so.

Good for him---and quit shootng me.

 

[jillian]

Good for him---and quit shootng me.

lol...you deserved it!

Funny thing is the issue just came up because Z is going to his first overnight visit other than his grandparents (and even that, he's only done a couple of times because we like spending our nights/weekends with him). So, we discussed it and spoke to Z's friend's parents and, after speaking with them, we decided JOINTLY that he's ready.

 

[dilloduck]

lol...you deserved it!

Funny thing is the issue just came up because Z is going to his first overnight visit other than his grandparents (and even that, he's only done a couple of times because we like spending our nights/weekends with him). So, we discussed it and spoke to Z's friend's parents and, after speaking with them, we decided JOINTLY that he's ready.

Kids whose parents share authority and nuturing are lucky !

 

[jillian]

Kids whose parents share authority and nuturing are lucky !

I think so. Truth? I would do those things even if my husband and I didn't live together. One of the biggest problems I saw in the matrimonial cases I worked on was that people forgot that the kids weren't the ones who divorced the other parent -- they did.

 

[rtwngAvngr]

Hey Jillian, I still feel daycare is a tragedy, but I think I was bit harsh on you, especially considering services rendered.

Sooooorrrry!

 

[dilloduck]

I think so. Truth? I would do those things even if my husband and I didn't live together. One of the biggest problems I saw in the matrimonial cases I worked on was that people forgot that the kids weren't the ones who divorced the other parent -- they did.

Important stuff to discuss BEFORE marriage. Especially when the kind of raising children receive is important to both.

 

[jillian]

Hey Jillian, I still feel daycare is a tragedy, but I think I was bit harsh on you, especially considering services rendered.

Sooooorrrry!

Bite me!

BTW, I told my son that some guy on a messageboard said he doesn't know he's loved because I work. He laughed, rolled his eyes and asked if you had kids. I said I didn't think so.

He said to tell you that if you think he doesn't know he's loved, then you probably wouldn't know how to show love to your own child. LOL...

Man, I adore my kid.

 

[jillian]

Important stuff to discuss BEFORE marriage. Especially when the kind of raising children receive is important to both.

I agree. It's really difficult when people don't have the same ideas about that stuff.