That is one of the reasons that is often cited for men not getting married. Right up there with having to give up space, loss of friends and what is viewed as loss of power and.........paperwork. Men in the media are depicted as oafs. This is not a valued position. There is absolutely nothing to gain from being married.
Oddly enough you are wrong on why women choose not to get married and have children. They don't want to get married and have children because the world is awesome and to be explored, they watch others get married because they are afraid of being alone, and there are options. In fact, guys are a dime a dozen if that is what you're looking for. What you have depicted as married life is absolute misery. There is absolutely nothing to gain from being married.
You know, I heard that claim before too. I've heard some women say exactly what you just said "because the world is awesome and to be explored".
I actually heard that from a friend of mine. She gave me this long list of all the amazing things she wanted to do, and she didn't want to get married because she wanted to do all these things.
So I was curious about this. We have been friends for several years, and we talked openly. So I decided to ask her about this. What have you done so far? I was expecting the tales of her adventures. Instead she talked about getting a job, and working. Where have you gone? Well I don't have time, and I need to keep working at my career. Well how many years have you been doing this? 10 years.
So she has remained single, for the last 10 years, working a steady job, never having the time in 10 years apparently to do anything, hasn't gone anywhere, and all she does is play video games and go to work.
Of course the punchline of this story is, roughly 6 months later after this conversation, she came on saying she got married, and they were going on a trip to the Bahamas. And that has been my experience numerous times. I think I've met only one girl that was single, and actually went everywhere and did stuff. One.
All the rest have had stories like the above. They say they want to be single to do all these amazing things... but then they end up just working a job, living alone, and doing nothing. Just saying.... that's what I've seen.
Really? Of the women I know they travel frequently and do a great many things. Perhaps, it's the job? I work in a pretty demanding field that many people can't do. So, getting away is imperative. Hell, I worked with a nurse that would use all of her vacation time traveling to Central and South America bringing medical supplies and doing the same thing she did at work. Made no sense to me but that was her thang. That and hanging out in New Orleans. I have also met women who are terrified of the interstate. Perhaps it's the person?
Like I said, it's just been my experience. One thing I always do, is ask people if they really are happy. Is this life they now have that they always wanted, really as great as they expected? That's when the truth comes out.
But I accept that you say those you are around are happy with their life choices. Even then I always wonder about such people, because 10 or 20 years down the line, when all the hope of having a real marriage and a real family are past, do they really end up saying it was worth it. When they reach their final years, and they either have no kids, or they spent so much time at work their kids are completely disconnected to them, and they have no husband of course, and most of their friends have move on to their own families.... was that career really worth everything?
It's funny because for decades in American history, it was wives begging their husbands not to be workaholics, and end up at the end of their lives finding no one cared for them.
Now women do the exact same thing, to a larger degree.
It's just like that survey from before showed... single professional women without kids are the most unhappy workers in the entire country.
I have heard some Boomers say they regret not having children in their little 3 paragraphs of Huffington Post crap. So BUT, I have heard an equal amount of regret from people who married and had kids. They will tell you straight up that they were too selfish and should never have taken that on. Men and women equally.
Every so many years somebody kicks out a whose happier survey. Never mind the fact that emotions cannot be quantified.
Older women happier? Yep.
No Groom, No Gloom: Never-Married Women Just as Happy
Single women happier? Yep.
Why single ladies (and men, too!) might be happier
Widows happier? Yep.
Single women are healthier and happier than married women - and it's no surprise
Married women happier? Yep.
Why Married Women Are Happier Than Single Women
According to all of these surveys, everybody is happier than everyone else.
I have no regrets. Of my closest friends, if they have regrets they aren't sharing them.
I get your point, but I don't know if that is entirely valid.
If a woman, literally never wanted to be married, never had interest in being married, and in pure honest truth.... Then I would expect those never-marrieds to be just as happy as married women. Mother Teresa was likely happy.
Fact is, most women don't want to be alone. The comparison isn't legitimate.
The single ladies, I just flat out don't believe it. The claim they are just as happy, I doubt it. I think in the moment, these women seem happy, until they get older, and then suddenly they regret having someone who lives them their whole lives.
I base this on several experiences. My mother worked as a school teacher, and she had to teachers at the school who were single, and are still single to this day. Both of them at the time, would have swore up and down, that they were single, loved being single, and wouldn't change the world for being single.
That was then. This is now. Now they have no friends. They have no family. They have no children or grand children. No one visits them. No one talks to them. They are completely and utterly alone. My mother can't be there all the time for them anymore. She's got 6 grand kids, and family, and she is constantly busy.
Now I could be wrong. Wouldn't be the first time, or 800th... but I don't think should would have lived her life the way she did, had she known how it would end.
The other one was talking about Widows. That's an entirely different discussion. As the article said, women generally out live men. As a result, they end up being care taker of their husbands on their way out. Of course taking care of a dying person is stressful and tiresome.
So of course if you compare a widow to someone still taking care of their husbands, yeah the widow is going to have less stress, and be more happy. Thankfully we have research institutions with millions in government grants, and to figure out the obvious for us.
