Emotional Vampire

[Cold Fusion38]

Have any of you ever had a friend who had so many problems that he ALWAYS talked about them to the point that he/she would not shut up long enough to hear ANYONE else's problems.


For a few day a guy I hadn't talked to for quite a while after I bitched him out for a while and told him to "Fuck Offf". Now he calls me out of the blue to tell me he kicked Methadone. Now this is a guy who I grew up with since "high" school. We used to party all the time. Me and all my OTHER party buddies. The thing is I GREW UP and they didn't. He got addicted to Meth/Heroine/Alcohol(of course) so did I (alcohol and weed until about 25 years old but he NEVER GREW UP!!! By the way the weed was WAY easier to give up than booze. He calls and I want to be a friend because I know how badly he needs a friend but I just can't handle listening to him BITCH about his life any more. I would talk to him about HIS problems and then I tried to share some of MY problems which he seems to think I am married employed and own my two cars and house........Oh my friend if you only knew(which I have tried to tell him) I'VE GOT PROBLEMS too. That's why I gave up drinking for THREE AND A HALF YEARS!!!! I started again for about a year but I quit as of the 5th of july.

I just don't know what to do I have told him what I think he needs to do. He needs to go to Sedranar a VERY successful drug treatment program......He quit using for over FIVE years but he says he can't handle going back there. So instead he is living in his truck and whatever couch he can find.....The thing is I told him I can't give him ANY money and he can't stay at my place.....I told him because of the wife and room mate but the truth is I just don't TRUST him.



I have a term I use for people who FEED on your EMPATHY. I was ALWAYS the guy the girls could come and cry on my shoulder about how messed up their relationships were and I was RIGHT THERE as a friend that could have been more if she had opened her EYES.


But these people are EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES they will use your empathy until you have none left. They will feed on you by dumping their problems on you at EVERY chance. The first time he called me after I blew up at him and told him to FUCK OFF I got together with hime bought him lunch and PRE-PAID for $10 of gas. I told him it was best I could do for him but he could call me. About a week later tonight he just went off.


Does anyone have a cure for emotional Vampires other than the obvious? I know this is a long OP but I could use some advice,

Thank you in advance,

Cold Fusion38 (Kevin)

 

[alan1]

Just go with the obvious.

 

[Luissa]

your friend sounds like my friend. You live in Yakima?

 

[Cold Fusion38]

Bet it sounds **** a BUNCH of other people. I just can't deal with this dude. I think you go to jail for putting a wood steak in garlic through somone's

 

[Mr. H.]

Don't answer the phone. It's tough, but if you want rid of him then quit communicating in any form.

A very close friend since childhood fell on hard times. Most of it brought on by his own insecurities. Even cut his own throat. I visited him in the psych ward. He was a mess. I used to drive 120 miles round trip to get him to his "favorite chiropractor" twice a month. His own family was reluctant to help him. It's all about "enabling".

So a few years ago I finally had my fill and quit answering the phone or returning his calls. He got the message. I mean I love the guy but he just goes on and on about every little twitch and ache and never let's me get in a word about anything. He's Italian btw .

Yeah geez- just don't answer the phone.

 

[goldcatt]

Your friend is not going to understand he can't use you up unless you stop feeding him. It's that simple. I know it seems cruel, but sometimes cruel is kind.

 

[strollingbones]

i tend to avoid people when i am emotionally needy....

i found that everyone is glad to dump their problems on me....but few are willing to listen to mine

 

[Cold Fusion38]

Yeah thanks guys I think you just confirmed what I already knew.