SweetSue92
Diamond Member
Waiting until your late 30s early 40s before getting married is wise. In every aspect.
No. This is terrible advice. Terrible. Especially if those married people expect to be parents.
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Waiting until your late 30s early 40s before getting married is wise. In every aspect.
Have you ever heard the adage "a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds"?
What does it mean to prioritize children over personal happiness? Is it better for children to see parents locked in bitter fighting on a daily basis? How about children watching a parent completely lose their will to go on joined to someone they care nothing about but lack the courage to leave. Or perhaps consider the family that stays together while each sharpens and weaponizes the children against the other. There's an ideal situation for you. There are worse things than divorce.
I was divorced in 1976. It was the best decision I ever made and needs no justification. It is really unfortunate that there are some who justify being locked in a life of torment.You are justifying your own situation it would seem. When you're done let me know.
For me, and Bonzi would say the same, was the realization that this person actually likes me. For who we are.My realization of happiness was my first Christmas alone. No fighting. No sniping. To long sighs of frustration. Just pure, pure, peace. I can't really describe how wonderful it was. Such has to be experienced.
So. Your wife works and you rely on her income to support you? Is that about right?
Hmm... to the OP... I don't know you, but I am beginning to doubt your integrity here.
There have been several excellent posts and points made to you, and you don't seem to be willing to grasp any of them.
That makes me think you aren't actually seeking anyone's opinion at all.
Then why even post it at all. Just want to bitch about something?
Hmm... to the OP... I don't know you, but I am beginning to doubt your integrity here.
There have been several excellent posts and points made to you, and you don't seem to be willing to grasp any of them.
That makes me think you aren't actually seeking anyone's opinion at all.
Then why even post it at all. Just want to bitch about something?
You have been playing with the idea of having sex with someone other than your spouse for over ten years and haven't done it yet? Is that it? Give it up. You are not the cheating kind and never will be.
There is a great danger to someone who desperately wants out of a relationship yet is guilted into staying. That danger is that you may never get the courage to leave, but you start making the other person's life a living hell so they leave. In the nicest possible way, of course. Nothing you could really put your finger on just a steady and inexorable pressure to force them into making a move.
Life quickly becomes unbearable for everyone.
If it's comfortable, why ever would you want to leave?There is nothing I could possibly do to make her leave. She has told me I could. I just haven’t figured out all the physical logistics. Being married is quite comfortable.
I haven’t.If it's comfortable, why ever would you want to leave?
The best that you can offer your wife at this point is maybe mediocrity. She deserves to be cherished. Be accountable for your own happiness. You have been offered the top reasons to stay involved. You are saying that you will probably stay and be miserable and what that tells me is that you are setting yourself up for disaster. You seem emotionally unavailable at this point. That is providing the bare minimum in a relationship. IMO, you should get a divorce.When someone feels they are a bad spouse should they leave their spouse? or are there better option?
What are the pros and cons of leaving your spouse? What are bad reasons to leave? What are good reasons to leave? What is the effect if you stay? If you leave?
I know at least one person has been in this situation. What can be expected to happen?
Getting married in your 20s today leads to divorce. A person should be fully financially well ahead before getting married.No. This is terrible advice. Terrible. Especially if those married people expect to be parents.
Getting married in your 20s today leads to divorce. A person should be fully financially well ahead before getting married.