Dear Uncle Teddy,

[Emmett]

I want you to know man that you screwed me. How is it you can't get me out of this place!

Come on Teddy, we partied together, chased women, got drunk. How canj you not pull a string and get me out of this shit man.

Hell when you killed that Mary Jo chick you didn't have no problem bribing and finaggling your way out of that. When that punk ass son of yours damn near ran over the White House or Capitol or something like (news gets a little foggy in here)that he got out of it, well a fine or some shit.

Oh ny the way, thanks for that bottle of scotch you smuggled in here. It took the edge off all this shit. Sex is a little rough in here though.

Teddy, help me man, get me out of this shit. If you get me out of here the drinks are on me! Man you know I didn't mean to kill that chick. I was practicing my approach methods with that 6 iron man, come on, she stuck her head down there. GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Get in touch with that dude you got to help us that time I had that other teenage chick out all night and you said I was at your house. Come on man, I hooked you up dude with all those young chicks. Help me man!

Sincerely,

Michael

 

[Eightball]

"Take a number please."

"Son, I really feel your pain."
"Take Two Vodka on the rocks every hour on the hour, and call me if the anxiety, and depression persists.".

"Next!" "Number 26!"