- Mar 13, 2010
- Reaction score
Dear Federal Reserve Bureaucrat,
If youre reading this you were probably recently hired as part of the Federal Reserves new social media monitoring program. Chances are youre a recent high school drop out, or part of some make-work federal job placement program. You probably dont completely understand who it is that youre working for, and what it is that youre doing. So, I cant really hold it against you. Id like to welcome you to our little corner of the Internet, and offer you some sincere advice.
Youre a bureaucrat now, so its important that you learn ways to avoid doing work. Otherwise youre going to raise the bar for all your new bureaucrat friends, and they wont like you anymore. I mean lets face it, youve got a pretty sweet gig. Wouldnt want to mess that up. So, lets take a look at this recent request for proposal your bosses sent out for the creation of a social listening platform and see if we cant find some corners you can cut.
Youre looking for a social media monitoring company to design a program for you that can, gather data from various social media outlets and news sources to guide the organizations public relations group. I was wondering if youd ever heard of a website called, Google. Its pretty useful for that, and its got a lot of interesting tools that might make your job a lot easier, if not completely obsolete. Stop me if Im going too fast. I know how you bureaucrats are easily confused, and some of this may seem a little newfangled.
Youve asked that the program be able to gather data from the primary social media platforms Facebook, Twitter, Blogs, Forums and YouTube. and that it should also be able to, aggregate data from various media outlets such as: CNN, WSJ, Factiva etc. Boy are you going to be excited! If you go over to Google theres this thing called a Search Engine. It does all of that! Theres even a navigation bar at the top that lets you limit your searches to news, or video, or blogs. You can even search in the shopping section and see whos selling anti-Fed merchandise. Just dont bother with the Im Feeling Lucky button. Its totally useless.