Let me take a stab at it.
How does one end up in hell?
1. Worshipping satan. Turns out, he is real. Who knew? Yea, that was pretty stupid.
2. Leftism. Actually, this should be #1 considering the prince of darkness worships the Left and not vice versa.
3. Listening to Taylor Swift. If you play her records backwards you can hear the words, "Vote Biden, Vote Biden, yes, that's right, vote potato head" That can't be good.
4. Crucifying Jesus to the cross. Again, probably not the smartest thing to do. So, if you meet him on the streets, try to fight all your inward inclinations by not murdering him. After all, someone who constantly tells the truth is about as annoying as you can be.
5. Don't murder the followers of Jesus. Now this can be particularly hard since you already naturally want to murder the truth man along in addition to putting up with the personality quirks of those who crazily want to follow him to the cross. Then again, everyone needs a hobby.