Top 10 Things Women Do That Destroy Their Marriage

[jchima]

How we hurt our husbands

While both husband and wife should take responsibility for their part in a marriage, below are ten mistakes common to women, which can completely destroy a marriage. When women exercise the following behaviors, it can create a hostile environment, where no one feels safe or comfortable.
1. Using words to hurt, maim and destroy your marriage: Although men are stronger, women have the advantage when it comes to verbal strength. Women are adept at brandishing the sharpest words in order to shame, demean and belittle their man. Words are like toothpaste. Once they are out, there is no getting them back in. Regardless of how sorry you are afterward, the damage has been done.

2. Having unrealistic expectations: Seeking fulfillment from one person, and projecting your unhappiness onto him when he doesn’t measure up will quickly destroy your marriage. If you feel unhappy, first examine reality. You will be happier if you shape your expectations to fit the reality of your situation. Expecting your spouse or children to make you happy is unrealistic. Make yourself happy.

3. Using sarcastic and critical statements, gestures, and facial expressions. This is a quick and easy way to show your husband that you don’t respect him or his opinion. Men can become overwhelmed by the barrage of criticism coming at them. The result is they shut down, withdraw, and seek kindness and approval elsewhere.

4. Criticize him, make fun of him and belittle him to your friends and family: Not only will this diminish your husband in your eyes, it will poison those closest to you. You force them to take sides, and of course they choose your side, because they want to be loyal to you. They will not look at your husband the same. Once you are over your tirade, they will still be mad at him. Your close friendships and relationships will remain irreparably altered against your husband, in time, this can destroy your marriage.

5. Withhold affection and s*x: Men are wired differently than women. They need physical release through s*xual intimacy. When you refuse to meet that need, you are making a much deeper statement; you do not care about or respect his needs. As much as you need emotional release and closeness, he is wired to need physical release and closeness. Neither is wrong. You are just different. While you want your emotional needs met, it is important not to lose sight of his needs. Think of it this way; what if he stopped talking to you for three days? How about a week? What if he didn’t talk to you for a month? Unconscionable. Likewise, it is unfair for you to cut him off from what he needs.

Source: Top 10 Things Women Do That Destroy Their Marriage - eReporter

 

[JakeStarkey]

To balance, yes, men have a top 10 list of their own to destroy marriages as well.

Women, the key is that if you treat a man in the manners in which you belittle women, he will leave you.

 

[blastoff]

Mastering great BJ technique can negate all of a woman's otherwise shortcomings (no pun intended).

 

[ninja007]

1. Nag
2. withhold sex
3. get fat
4. cheat
5. spend all his money
6. Brings in-laws over

 

[ABikerSailor]

You know.............men can do a lot to damage a relationship as well.

Me? I only have 3 rules for relationships........................

1) One plus one equals three. Might sound like bad math, but in a relationship, there is her, me, and the thing that is built by both of us (the relationship) that makes three.

2) A relationship isn't a 50/50 proposition. A 50/50 proposition is a business deal, because when you give me a certain value in the relationship, you might also be expecting an equal amount back in whatever coin you hold the relationship valuable in. A relationship isn't a 50/50 proposition, but rather 2 people combining together to make it 100 percent every day. Some days she may be sick or otherwise unable to contribute her 50 percent and may only be able to come up with 10. I better be wiling and able to come up with the other 90 percent. Other days, the ratio may be reversed, and she has to be able to come up with the difference to make it a 100 percent solution.

3) A relationship can survive on a 51 percent love/49 percent lust ratio, but if it ever hits 49 percent love and 51 percent lust, then it's got problems. If you want to know the difference between love and lust, ask yourself one question (and it's a bitch goddess of a question)........................Do I truly enjoy the person (love), or, do I enjoy myself through the instrumentality of that person (lust).

If I love the person, then money or poor, sick or healthy, it doesn't matter, because I don't enjoy the person because of what they have, I just enjoy the person because of who they are.

However................if I enjoy myself through the instrumentality of that person (i.e. what they can give me), then whenever what that instrumentality is, if it's gone, then so am I. If it's because of the instrumentality of their money, then what happens when they become poor? If it's via the instrumentality of their standing in society, then what happens when they lose it and fall?

Nope.........................I'd much rather keep it simple and work on my own faults rather than go looking for reasons to leave the person I'm with.

 

[Noomi]

So in other words a woman is to serve the man whether she wants to or not?

 

[Anathema]

So in other words a woman is to serve the man whether she wants to or not?

Yes, just as it is the Man's responsibility to support the woman and their children.

I've always wondered what it was that suddenly made members of my parent's generation forget this basic relationship equation and decide that they were going to try it some other way. Obviously it hasn't worked. One only has to look at American society these days to see that. Yet the women and metrosexual males push forward with the idea of equality as a means to measure relationships rather than using operational efficiency as the measure as it should be.

 

[eagle1462010]

The biggest thing for me is the gossiping...............Especially when they get into man bashing with the family, not even being about me............I've never cared about soap operas and when the soap opera isn't clickable to change the channel it sometimes gets under your skin..........................or when they try on clothes at the store for a freaking hour........................always asking the loaded questions like Does this dress make me look fat...........................loaded question...............
and the Honey does that need to be done right now...............even after you just pulled a 12 hour shift climbing columns at the job installing equipment, conduit and wire up a column a 300 feet tall all day..................feeling like your legs are about to fall off...............

In that regard, for putting up with it I expect some stress relief in the bed room for this.............

 

[Derideo_Te]

Marriage is about forming a team. The purpose of a team is to compensate for individual weaknesses while supporting and building on individual strengths. Good teams work together to accomplish their goals. Teams that fight amongst the players seldom win.

So if you see your marriage as becoming part of a team then you will both be winners. If you don't understand that part then you are going to have a steep learning curve. Teams trust that the other players will be there to back them up when needed and members of a team should always be covering the other players. Same for a marriage. As an individual you have your own limitations but if you have backup you are covered and vice versa.

Team players respect the strengths of the other players and try to leverage them to the best advantage of the whole team.

The best marriages are where both partners understand that they are now a team united to take on whatever life throws at them. Yes, they will have their ups and downs but in the end they will either learn to play well together or they will lose and no longer have the best that each can bring to the marriage.

 

[JakeStarkey]

So in other words a woman is to serve the man whether she wants to or not?

That is certainly not the case.

She is not to treat a man as if he is a woman. He will leave you if you do.

 

[JakeStarkey]

Watch the first 20 minutes of Tony Bennett and Lady Ga Ga in their music specia of soft jazz called "Cheek to Cheek." They in music and movement demonstrate as well as I have ever seen the building together of that uniqueness that characterizes the great love of two people.

 

[JakeStarkey]

Anathema may live in the 1940s if he wishes, but his way will not work in the 21st century, the Lord My Husband with the Lady His Wife.

 

[BlackSand]

So in other words a woman is to serve the man whether she wants to or not?

It isn't that she has to do want he wants regardless of her own desires ... Just the fact she can hit the road if she doesn't. Take some fricken responsibility for yourselves and if you don't like way he treats you, carry your ass before he shows you the door ... Duh.

.

 

[Anathema]

Anathema may live in the 1940s if he wishes, but his way will not work in the 21st century, the Lord My Husband with the Lady His Wife.

And you see the society that the lack of basic common decency in relationships has helped foster. A society with no morals, no values, homosexual marriage, legal abortion, single parent families as an acceptable part of society, etc.... Thankfully my wife does understand, accept and embrace her place in the world, as I do my own.

 

[JakeStarkey]

Anathema may live in the 1940s if he wishes, but his way will not work in the 21st century, the Lord My Husband with the Lady His Wife.

And you see the society that the lack of basic common decency in relationships has helped foster. A society with no morals, no values, homosexual marriage, legal abortion, single parent families as an acceptable part of society, etc.... Thankfully my wife does understand, accept and embrace her place in the world, as I do my own.

Happy for both of you in your blissful ignorance.

 

[BlackSand]

... Thankfully my wife does understand, accept and embrace her place in the world, as I do my own.

I think that was the point Jakey was making ... Your place is in the past.

You cannot undo some of the things done, but we can learn to respect each other when due and move forward toward more common ground with our spouses. If people need an article that indicates being an ass to your spouse will get you removed from the job to understand where they screwed up ... Then I believe the problem is bigger than barefoot in the kitchen.

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[Anathema]

I think that was the point Jakey was making ... Your place is in the past.

Everyone's place is in the past. That's why they're called TRADITIONAL Values,

You cannot undo some of the things done, but we can learn to respect each other when due and move forward toward more common ground with our spouses. If people need an article that indicates being an ass to your spouse will get you removed from the job to understand where they screwed up ... Then I believe the problem is bigger than barefoot in the kitchen.

Oh, they can (and should be) undone. I find respect to be much less useful than pain and fear when it comes to teaching people their proper place and imparting morality and values upon them; whether it's children, women, or men were talking about. I believe that ORDER, not Freedom, is the true calling of society..... A place for everyone/everything and everyone/everything in their place.

The problem, at its root, is the lack of a basic societal structure that is agreed upon, accepted, and embraced by the vast super-majority of members of society. Without that, nothing is going to work.

 

[BlackSand]

The problem, at its root, is the lack of a basic societal structure that is agreed upon, accepted, and embraced by the vast super-majority of members of society. Without that, nothing is going to work.

Well ... Your societal structure had thousands of years to produce better results and has now failed to meet the existing needs of society. But hey ... I am poor, fat, ugly and cannot cook ... If I waited around for some man to save me I would have starved years ago.

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[Anathema]

Well ... Your societal structure had thousands of years to produce better results and has now failed to meet the existing needs of society. But hey ... I am poor, fat, ugly and cannot cook ... If I waited around for some man to save me I would have starved years ago.

Not at all. That societal structure survuved for so long BECAUSE it worked. In all of my searching I cannot find a single matriarchal society of any size that has survived and thrived for any period of time in the last 2000 years. Humanity has chosen to move towards the societal structure that is proven to fail and to throw away the one that has succeeded. Not based on logic but on emotion. Not based on needs but on wants.

In a proper society at leaste a couple of those attributes would have been alleviated before they became issues and I'm sure there are poor Men who are looking for wives too.

 

[BlackSand]

Not at all. That societal structure survuved for so long BECAUSE it worked. In all of my searching I cannot find a single matriarchal society of any size that has survived and thrived for any period of time in the last 2000 years. Humanity has chosen to move towards the societal structure that is proven to fail and to throw away the one that has succeeded. Not based on logic but on emotion. Not based on needs but on wants.

In a proper society at leaste a couple of those attributes would have been alleviated before they became issues and I'm sure there are poor Men who are looking for wives too.

I didn't say it didn't work for you then ... I indicated it doesn't work for us now.
Who wants to marry a fat, ugly, poor man that cannot cook anyway?

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