- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
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Sometimes I feel that the Western World receives so much criticism since we do not provide sufficient practical/profitable 'retorts' to anti-capitalism critiques such as, "Profiteerism 'culture' breeds pure mistrust."
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Prince William of England went on a passionate eco-activism crusade in conjunction with the Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation, working to build eco-friendly and energy-efficient large-scale treehouses for poor rural Caucasians living in New England (USA). The initiative was termed the 'Village Treehouse Project,' and it drew the attention of America's favorite vigilante, Batman. Batman was secretly the billionaire socialite and businessman Bruce Wayne, head of Wayne Industries (in Gotham City), which was invested in clean coal technologies, wind farms, children's apparel, and consumer electronics.
Batman decided to visit Prince William in England as Bruce Wayne. Prince William was happy to receive the Gotham 'prince' but was in a hurry to attend a special eco-activism symposium with his newfound American celebrity friend (and well-known eco-activist) Leo DiCaprio. Bruce found himself alone with Prince William's wife Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge. Kate surprisingly confided in Bruce and told him that her husband's ambitious eco-activism 'visions' made him absent from their home-life and their children felt neglected. She also suspected that William was engaged in an extra-marital affair.
Bruce and Kate talked for hours, and at the end of the conversation (which included talk about domestic values in the UK and USA, eco-pollution, capitalism corruption, child welfare programs, and new age 'cynicism'), Bruce had no choice but to tell Kate that he was in fact Batman. Kate was shocked but when she realized he was telling the truth, she urged Bruce/Batman to fight a new emerging eco-terrorist in London who was modelling himself after the American horror film ghoul Leatherface (the fictional chainsaw-wielding cannibal from the iconic Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise). Batman started investigating and learned that this 'copycat-Leatherface' was wielding a chainsaw to make an anti-capitalism statement about the proliferation of 'convenience-consumerism culture' and how easy it was for pedestrians to walk into a Home Depot hardware store and purchase a chainsaw --- no questions asked.
Batman started 'stalking' this emerging criminal. Scotland Yard referred to him as the 'Leatherface Tarzan,' and it was suspected that the psycho would strike at policemen very soon, especially since he dropped a note which read, "I hate Scotland Yard! It's a veiled masquerade for a simple 'translation' of the industrialization-obsessed and corrupt LAPD in the USA!" Batman hypothesized that this 'upstart' was most likely a radical Oxford or Cambridge student who got swept up in eco-activism rhetoric/literature (e.g., Edward Abbey). Bruce himself read Abbey and used the book to 'fingerprint' Leatherface Tarzan and tracked him to London Bridge. Indeed, the psycho was hiding out there (with a chainsaw!), ready to plan a terrible attack on a passing patrolling English policemen.
After Batman turned Leatherface Tarzan over to Scotland Yard, he met again with Duchess Middleton and assured her that these good tidings would facilitate improved relations between her and Prince William. She was very moved and urged the Dark Knight to keep in touch with her and tell her about eco-initiatives in the USA! Bruce bid her farewell and recommended that she take part in some eco-initiatives being planned by the Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation and that maybe such work would enable her to bump into her husband doing similar social work related to environmentalism. When Batman returned to Gotham, he wrote in his diary, "The best cure to terrorism and anti-civilization angst is simple humanity. To deal with the angst that gives rise to society nemeses such as Mad Hatter and Leatherface Tarzan, we need to find ways to embrace modern vigilance!"
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Prince William of England went on a passionate eco-activism crusade in conjunction with the Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation, working to build eco-friendly and energy-efficient large-scale treehouses for poor rural Caucasians living in New England (USA). The initiative was termed the 'Village Treehouse Project,' and it drew the attention of America's favorite vigilante, Batman. Batman was secretly the billionaire socialite and businessman Bruce Wayne, head of Wayne Industries (in Gotham City), which was invested in clean coal technologies, wind farms, children's apparel, and consumer electronics.
Batman decided to visit Prince William in England as Bruce Wayne. Prince William was happy to receive the Gotham 'prince' but was in a hurry to attend a special eco-activism symposium with his newfound American celebrity friend (and well-known eco-activist) Leo DiCaprio. Bruce found himself alone with Prince William's wife Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge. Kate surprisingly confided in Bruce and told him that her husband's ambitious eco-activism 'visions' made him absent from their home-life and their children felt neglected. She also suspected that William was engaged in an extra-marital affair.
Bruce and Kate talked for hours, and at the end of the conversation (which included talk about domestic values in the UK and USA, eco-pollution, capitalism corruption, child welfare programs, and new age 'cynicism'), Bruce had no choice but to tell Kate that he was in fact Batman. Kate was shocked but when she realized he was telling the truth, she urged Bruce/Batman to fight a new emerging eco-terrorist in London who was modelling himself after the American horror film ghoul Leatherface (the fictional chainsaw-wielding cannibal from the iconic Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise). Batman started investigating and learned that this 'copycat-Leatherface' was wielding a chainsaw to make an anti-capitalism statement about the proliferation of 'convenience-consumerism culture' and how easy it was for pedestrians to walk into a Home Depot hardware store and purchase a chainsaw --- no questions asked.
Batman started 'stalking' this emerging criminal. Scotland Yard referred to him as the 'Leatherface Tarzan,' and it was suspected that the psycho would strike at policemen very soon, especially since he dropped a note which read, "I hate Scotland Yard! It's a veiled masquerade for a simple 'translation' of the industrialization-obsessed and corrupt LAPD in the USA!" Batman hypothesized that this 'upstart' was most likely a radical Oxford or Cambridge student who got swept up in eco-activism rhetoric/literature (e.g., Edward Abbey). Bruce himself read Abbey and used the book to 'fingerprint' Leatherface Tarzan and tracked him to London Bridge. Indeed, the psycho was hiding out there (with a chainsaw!), ready to plan a terrible attack on a passing patrolling English policemen.
After Batman turned Leatherface Tarzan over to Scotland Yard, he met again with Duchess Middleton and assured her that these good tidings would facilitate improved relations between her and Prince William. She was very moved and urged the Dark Knight to keep in touch with her and tell her about eco-initiatives in the USA! Bruce bid her farewell and recommended that she take part in some eco-initiatives being planned by the Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation and that maybe such work would enable her to bump into her husband doing similar social work related to environmentalism. When Batman returned to Gotham, he wrote in his diary, "The best cure to terrorism and anti-civilization angst is simple humanity. To deal with the angst that gives rise to society nemeses such as Mad Hatter and Leatherface Tarzan, we need to find ways to embrace modern vigilance!"
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