Zone1 Suicide leaves me with no words of comfort to say

[Toro]

A friend, who might have been more, killed herself a few months ago.

Recently, my daughter's friend killed himself.

In both situations, I had no words of comfort for those grieving the loss.

To the sister of the woman, I said, "I don't even know what to say."

To my daughter, I said, "I'm sorry."

I'm Catholic. My Church teaches that suicide is a mortal sin. Since a suicide does not have the opportunity to repent, a suicide goes to hell.

Some have told me that this could not possibly be true, God is merciful.

My mother killed herself when I was eighteen. I am plagued with visions of her in hell.

What do you think?

I'm not looking for answers from people who don't believe in God and think the notion of hell is silly.

I'm looking for answers from Christians.

I think you need to consider other perspectives.

I'm not Catholic but my mother-in-law was a strict Catholic, and because of her strong faith, I allowed my son to be baptized Catholic. And though I'm Protestant, I've been to more Catholic masses than Protestant churches.

Suicide is an issue the Catholic Church will reconsider. I understand why the Church believes suicide is a sin. The Church has probably saved more lives over the millennia because of this belief. However, the Church has changed its mind on many things. And it will eventually change its mind on suicide.

Suicide is usually an outcome of mental health. People who are suffering opt for suicide because their pain is greater than their desire to live. I find that extremely sad, but I'm extremely fortunate not to be in such a situation. However, I do believe that the innate desire to live is so strong that one must be in a state of extreme suffering to override the desire to live. I'm sure God doesn't punish people because they are mentally unwell anymore than He punishes people for being physically unwell. Mental health has been a taboo until recently. But mental health is as important as physical health. And nobody anymore judges people on their physical health. We are going that way towards mental health too.

I don't know your situation. But you shouldn't be tormented by your visions of your mother in the afterlife. I'm sure she loved you. And I don't believe she's in Hell. I believe she's waiting for you in Heaven when it is your time.

 

[Blackrook]

I am not a Christian per se, but I imagine God as wanting you to help make the lives better of those who are grieving rather than worrying about the sin of suicide.

That's easy to say that but it's my mother I'm worrying about.

 

[Dogmaphobe]

That's easy to say that but it's my mother I'm worrying about.

I'm sorry for you mother and how it affected you. She must have been in such pain that none of us could possibly know.

Try to imagine God as somebody who understands that pain and wants her to be in peace just as much as you do.

 

[John Edgar Slow Horses]

A friend, who might have been more, killed herself a few months ago.

Recently, my daughter's friend killed himself.

In both situations, I had no words of comfort for those grieving the loss.

To the sister of the woman, I said, "I don't even know what to say."

To my daughter, I said, "I'm sorry."

I'm Catholic. My Church teaches that suicide is a mortal sin. Since a suicide does not have the opportunity to repent, a suicide goes to hell.

Some have told me that this could not possibly be true, God is merciful.

My mother killed herself when I was eighteen. I am plagued with visions of her in hell.

What do you think?

I'm not looking for answers from people who don't believe in God and think the notion of hell is silly.

I'm looking for answers from Christians.

God is loving and merciful, Blackrook, to us His creations.

Such dogma is not in line with the loving, merciful Son of the Father.

Your Mom is not in Hell. Jesus loves her and you, too. I am sad for your loss and grief.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

Suicide is the ultimate selfish act. I just can't have respect or sympathy for someone who commits suicide. Volunteer to clean toilets at a homeless shelter. Go to the local animal shelter and take dogs for a walk. Maybe their last walk before the gas chamber. After all, your own life is worthless. May as well add something to someone else's.

 

[WinterBorn]

I'm no Bible scholar but I'm pretty well read in that book and I don't ever recall seeing any sin that was "unforgiveable" except blaspheming the Holy Spirit. I've always thought this meant to be aware of His existence but to voluntarily choose to refuse and ignore Him.

I think the reasoning behind it being an unforgiveable sin is that you cannot ask for forgiveness after.

 

[Dekster]

Just go with "Very heartbreaking. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you."

Faith is about trust, not the knowing for certain.

 

[skye]

My mother's suicide still hurts me even though it happened forty years ago.

Sorry to hear you went through that....it must have been very traumatic for you!

 

[SweetSue92]

I think blaspheming the Holy Spirit is unforgivable because it's the failure to ask for forgiveness.

That's what Judas did. He didn't go to Jesus to ask for forgiveness, he killed himself.

No. It's the rejection of Christ--the Holy Spirit brings knowledge and faith in Christ. Those who blaspheme the Holy Spirit reject this over and over and over. Tragically, we see plenty of this here.

I'll be frank. Catholicism teaches many things that frankly cannot be found in the Bible--legalism. Certainly God does not look favorably on suicide. But I can find nothing in Scripture that says suicide is a straight ticket to Hell. That is for God to decide.

So as much as you can, I would rest easy that suicide is not "automatic Hell" territory. As near as I can figure, the only automatic Hell are those who die still in blasphemy.

 

[Blues Man]

Suicide is a choice that people have the absolute right to make.

That doesn't make it easy on the people who remain.

My mother overdosed when I was 14. I realize that she had been committing suicide for years and it just took that long to die. When I found her, in a way I was relieved that she was no longer in pain from the horrible things that happened to her as a child.

 

[shockedcanadian]

That's easy to say that but it's my mother I'm worrying about.

This is a fair concern. Rest assured, you couldn't do anything then nor can you decide for God now. What I might suggest is to positvely impact the world today. Help otners struggling with suicide (thoughts or survivors or those wbo did), fight for justice of the wrongly accused, give your time or.money to charity etc. In short,.be a positive impact on the world and your community. There 'is far too much evil in this world, I sense it from soome posters on this board alone. Don't be like them, take a righteous path and build your own stairway to heaven in the process.

 

[SavannahMann]

A friend, who might have been more, killed herself a few months ago.

Recently, my daughter's friend killed himself.

In both situations, I had no words of comfort for those grieving the loss.

To the sister of the woman, I said, "I don't even know what to say."

To my daughter, I said, "I'm sorry."

I'm Catholic. My Church teaches that suicide is a mortal sin. Since a suicide does not have the opportunity to repent, a suicide goes to hell.

Some have told me that this could not possibly be true, God is merciful.

My mother killed herself when I was eighteen. I am plagued with visions of her in hell.

What do you think?

I'm not looking for answers from people who don't believe in God and think the notion of hell is silly.

I'm looking for answers from Christians.

I believe God is Love. But don’t just think that. Feel it. Can you imagine your child doing anything in which you would not love them ever again? When the suicide rule came out, people did not understand mental health as we do now. We now know that such desires are caused by extreme mental health issues. Surely God has known this since the beginning. And God would not turn his back on those suffering.

We are told in the Bible that forgiveness is our calling. Forgive us our Trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

I am also Catholic. And I don’t believe those who take their own lives are condemned. Because I don’t believe any of us decide such things. Nowhere in the Bible does it name me as the one who decides.

Then again, I have a hard time with the idea that there are people born who are destined to Hell. Because they never heard the word, and the idea that God would send Billions and Billions to Hell because they were ignorant of His Word is difficult to accept.

In the end. I trust in God’s eternal Wisdom and Understanding. God’s Love and Compassion is limitless. That is what I believe. If God can forgive us, I’m sure he will welcome the troubled Children in, now cured of their ailments and disease.

When that rule was stated by the Catholics. Suicide was seen as the cowards way out. We know better now. We know that the poor souls feel lost and overwhelmed. Unable to control their destructive thoughts and impulses. I do not accept the idea that God doesn’t understand better than any of us can with our modern medical knowledge. Not when there is so much more to learn.

 

[BreezeWood]

it being an unforgiveable sin is that you cannot ask for forgiveness after.

really, why not and can imagine many ask beforehand ... it's their life their choice.

- the reasons for the choice no doubt would be instrumental in the heavenly judgement.

organized religions long ago through their fallacies have done to themselves the same long before their last breath.

 

[JustAGuy1]

I thought you said you left the church.

That's your take away from his post? Good lord.

 

[Blues Man]

Suicide is the ultimate selfish act. I just can't have respect or sympathy for someone who commits suicide. Volunteer to clean toilets at a homeless shelter. Go to the local animal shelter and take dogs for a walk. Maybe their last walk before the gas chamber. After all, your own life is worthless. May as well add something to someone else's.

People who commit suicide are beyond caring what you think about them.

And so what if it is selfish? People basically run on selfishness.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

People who commit suicide are beyond caring what you think about them.

And so what if it is selfish? People basically run on selfishness.

And stop on selfishness too.

 

[Blues Man]

And stop on selfishness too.

Yeah it's called human nature.

 

[John Edgar Slow Horses]

EvilCat Breath's lack of empathy is obvious. These kinds of people should be excluded from one's society where possible and legal.

 

[Blues Man]

EvilCat Breath's lack of empathy is obvious. These kinds of people should be excluded from one's society where possible and legal.

There is no empathy to be had for the dead as the dead are beyond caring.

Save your empathy for the people left behind.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

I have known one man that committed suicide. He came out to his wife and children as gay. He was leaving to go live with his male lover. For some strange reason, it never occurred to him that his wife would immediately file for divorce. He thought he would just move out and stay married. When he could not stop her, he hanged himself. No great loss, really. She saved a bundle in legal fees.