Saturday Night Seduction

[goldcatt]

I've gone back to Lumpy's scenario which is basically ' what does a man have to do to get sex these days '. A lot or a little. I say it depends on the all the variables.

Making the woman do a little work isn't a bad idea either, it gives you a chance to find out what kind of person she is and whether she's appreciative and willing to reciprocate.

Making the woman work ? I think your getting the point now. You mean it's not something that's expected from them ?>

Nope, not usually.

Men seem to think they're expected to do all the chasing, know everything, provide everything and come up with all the answers. And they end up being wrong more times than not. Why? Beacuse they don't make the woman work, don't ask, just guess and forge ahead without asking for her input. Why put all the pressure on yourselves when the women WANT to help, they're just not being given an opportunity?

 

[dilloduck]

Making the woman do a little work isn't a bad idea either, it gives you a chance to find out what kind of person she is and whether she's appreciative and willing to reciprocate.

Making the woman work ? I think your getting the point now. You mean it's not something that's expected from them ?>

Nope, not usually.

Men seem to think they're expected to do all the chasing, know everything, provide everything and come up with all the answers. And they end up being wrong more times than not. Why? Beacuse they don't make the woman work, don't ask, just guess and forge ahead without asking for her input. Why put all the pressure on yourselves when the women WANT to help, they're just not being given an opportunity?

Sweet----ok guys---sit back and wait for em to pick you up---they really want to buy you dinner

 

[goldcatt]

Making the woman work ? I think your getting the point now. You mean it's not something that's expected from them ?>

Nope, not usually.

Men seem to think they're expected to do all the chasing, know everything, provide everything and come up with all the answers. And they end up being wrong more times than not. Why? Beacuse they don't make the woman work, don't ask, just guess and forge ahead without asking for her input. Why put all the pressure on yourselves when the women WANT to help, they're just not being given an opportunity?

Sweet----ok guys---sit back and wait for em to pick you up---they really want to buy you dinner

You say that sarcastically, but why the hell not?

Let's see...typical scenario. I meet a guy, he might strike up the first conversation, or I might. We get to talking and asking each other questions and find something we both enjoy. I might say "Hey, we should do that". Somebody gives somebody their number, doesn't matter who. The other person calls and we both set up a time. We go, talk, laugh, both get to know each other better, both show a little appreciation for that and have a good time. Happy ending. Or maybe we find something out about each other that means it won't work. Not so happy ending, but nobody's out anything but a few hours' time and there's no hard feelings. It's just shit happens.

Or, a man can take it all on himself to guess from past experiences what the best thing to do is, doesn't ask and feels pressure to "provide" a good time. See where this is headed? He's creating an expectation there and probably causing a certain level of frustration in both parties if - when - he guesses wrong. It might work out for a while, but in the end you're going to have him feeling unappreciated for his efforts and her feeling like she's unimportant, nisunderstood and taken advantage of. Bad feelings and a waste of time and effort on both sides.

Believe me, any woman worth spending time with wants to do her share.

 

[dilloduck]

Nope, not usually.

Men seem to think they're expected to do all the chasing, know everything, provide everything and come up with all the answers. And they end up being wrong more times than not. Why? Beacuse they don't make the woman work, don't ask, just guess and forge ahead without asking for her input. Why put all the pressure on yourselves when the women WANT to help, they're just not being given an opportunity?

Sweet----ok guys---sit back and wait for em to pick you up---they really want to buy you dinner

You say that sarcastically, but why the hell not?

Let's see...typical scenario. I meet a guy, he might strike up the first conversation, or I might. We get to talking and asking each other questions and find something we both enjoy. I might say "Hey, we should do that". Somebody gives somebody their number, doesn't matter who. The other person calls and we both set up a time. We go, talk, laugh, both get to know each other better, both show a little appreciation for that and have a good time. Happy ending. Or maybe we find something out about each other that means it won't work. Not so happy ending, but nobody's out anything but a few hours' time and there's no hard feelings. It's just shit happens.

Or, a man can take it all on himself to guess from past experiences what the best thing to do is, doesn't ask and feels pressure to "provide" a good time. See where this is headed? He's creating an expectation there and probably causing a certain level of frustration in both parties if - when - he guesses wrong. It might work out for a while, but in the end you're going to have him feeling unappreciated for his efforts and her feeling like she's unimportant, nisunderstood and taken advantage of. Bad feelings and a waste of time and effort on both sides.

Believe me, any woman worth spending time with wants to do her share.

So if you are in need of male companionship or just need to get laid you go out and strike up conversations with men and suggest things that you woudl like to do ? I mean how does this really work for y'all when men aint flocking to the door ?

 

[Shadow]

Oh bull---there are a lot of women with self respect that want sex without all the formalities.
It doesn't make em sluts. And sure--I think men understand that if the women is someone he wants to spend time with that he will want to put the energy into it. Hopefully the woman realizes it too instead of waiting to make sure that the guy does the appropriate amout of kow towing. They miss out on a lot that way by over estimating their worth.
Fortunately women do some hunting these days too so men aren't the ones taking all the risks.

Well,if it's true that there are lots of women who just want sex without the formalities...guess you wouldn't really need to seduce them. So "hey baby,how do you want it" could work after all. Give it a shot.

Define what you mean by "Kow towing". What do you think is unreasonable in the way of a woman's expectations in getting to know her partner before sex takes place in a relationship?

Good point--if neither partner has to do a hell of a lot of seducing then I guess that's what you call both of them getting lucky

I don't think there is any reasonable norm as far as expectations go. Again it all depends on the individual man and woman. Men are the agressors and women are the gate keepers.
It's just the way it is. Men have to pass the test and the woman is in control of consenting.
Surely women understand they have such power.

I think it goes both ways sometimes. Have you ever had an aggressive woman come on to you or actively persue you, that you had no interest in what so ever? I think that women who take on this type of role probably get turned down and rejected as often as the men do. Do you like being the hunted,better than doing the hunting...I'm curious as to if men really want to be the one pursued?


The problem is that women are emotional (and tend to get attached) where men can be more interested in just the physical (with no need for attachment in some cases),so natually women are going to be more careful and guarded than men when it comes to sex. Usually if a woman is interested in you at all,they are already emotionally involved.

 

[dilloduck]

Well,if it's true that there are lots of women who just want sex without the formalities...guess you wouldn't really need to seduce them. So "hey baby,how do you want it" could work after all. Give it a shot.

Define what you mean by "Kow towing". What do you think is unreasonable in the way of a woman's expectations in getting to know her partner before sex takes place in a relationship?

Good point--if neither partner has to do a hell of a lot of seducing then I guess that's what you call both of them getting lucky

I don't think there is any reasonable norm as far as expectations go. Again it all depends on the individual man and woman. Men are the agressors and women are the gate keepers.
It's just the way it is. Men have to pass the test and the woman is in control of consenting.
Surely women understand they have such power.

I think it goes both ways sometimes. Have you ever had an aggressive woman come on to you or actively persue you, that you had no interest in what so ever? I think that women who take on this type of role probably get turned down and rejected as often as the men do. Do you like being the hunted,better than doing the hunting...I'm curious as to if men really want to be the one pursued?


The problem is that women are emotional (and tend to get attached) where men can be more interested in just the physical (with no need for attachment in some cases),so natually women are going to be more careful and guarded than men when it comes to sex. Usually if a woman is interested in you at all,they are already emotionally involved.

Though it's the exception I imagine some aggressive women win some and lose some like a man would but I'll give em credit for taking the risk. I think some men like to be chased for a change of pace--some maybe not.
Ah yes the hard wiring question again---men go for the emotions thru sex and vice versa. Always the dilemma. So women feel like they can protect their feelings by carefully consenting to sex?

 

[goldcatt]

Sweet----ok guys---sit back and wait for em to pick you up---they really want to buy you dinner

You say that sarcastically, but why the hell not?

Let's see...typical scenario. I meet a guy, he might strike up the first conversation, or I might. We get to talking and asking each other questions and find something we both enjoy. I might say "Hey, we should do that". Somebody gives somebody their number, doesn't matter who. The other person calls and we both set up a time. We go, talk, laugh, both get to know each other better, both show a little appreciation for that and have a good time. Happy ending. Or maybe we find something out about each other that means it won't work. Not so happy ending, but nobody's out anything but a few hours' time and there's no hard feelings. It's just shit happens.

Or, a man can take it all on himself to guess from past experiences what the best thing to do is, doesn't ask and feels pressure to "provide" a good time. See where this is headed? He's creating an expectation there and probably causing a certain level of frustration in both parties if - when - he guesses wrong. It might work out for a while, but in the end you're going to have him feeling unappreciated for his efforts and her feeling like she's unimportant, nisunderstood and taken advantage of. Bad feelings and a waste of time and effort on both sides.

Believe me, any woman worth spending time with wants to do her share.

So if you are in need of male companionship or just need to get laid you go out and strike up conversations with men and suggest things that you woudl like to do ? I mean how does this really work for y'all when men aint flocking to the door ?

Wanting male companionship, yep. Going out to strike up conversations with men is the best way to find that. That's how a lot of women "hunt". We are wired differently, and have a whole different set of risks when it comes to starting new relationships too. So our hunting is different. And yes, when done right it works.

There's nothing wrong with men striking up that conversation either, if they're not flocking to your door. The important thing is he asks. Let me repeat that...he ASKS. He expresses some interest in her and what she wants instead of making assumptions. He also volunteers some information of his own so she can see and evaluate him too. You know, the whole socially expected reciprocal self-disclosure thing. There's a reason it's the expected norm, it's a mutual pattern. And a good woman is looking for mutuality, not a "provider".

If she doesn't reciprocate when given the opportunity, she's not worth the time. But she has to be given the opportunity, and when she does attempt to tell you what she wants or try to find out what you want you have to listen to her and be honest about yourself. A lot of men do the whole macho "I don't need anything" crap, like having needs makes them weak or unattractive or opens them up to demands. The opposite is actually true. It's not knowing and not being known that causes insecurity and frustration, not the knowing. Women really do want to have an equal part and be understood, and they'll give you all kinds of help if you just give them the chance without blocking yourself or them off.

 

[dilloduck]

You say that sarcastically, but why the hell not?

Let's see...typical scenario. I meet a guy, he might strike up the first conversation, or I might. We get to talking and asking each other questions and find something we both enjoy. I might say "Hey, we should do that". Somebody gives somebody their number, doesn't matter who. The other person calls and we both set up a time. We go, talk, laugh, both get to know each other better, both show a little appreciation for that and have a good time. Happy ending. Or maybe we find something out about each other that means it won't work. Not so happy ending, but nobody's out anything but a few hours' time and there's no hard feelings. It's just shit happens.

Or, a man can take it all on himself to guess from past experiences what the best thing to do is, doesn't ask and feels pressure to "provide" a good time. See where this is headed? He's creating an expectation there and probably causing a certain level of frustration in both parties if - when - he guesses wrong. It might work out for a while, but in the end you're going to have him feeling unappreciated for his efforts and her feeling like she's unimportant, nisunderstood and taken advantage of. Bad feelings and a waste of time and effort on both sides.

Believe me, any woman worth spending time with wants to do her share.

So if you are in need of male companionship or just need to get laid you go out and strike up conversations with men and suggest things that you woudl like to do ? I mean how does this really work for y'all when men aint flocking to the door ?

Wanting male companionship, yep. Going out to strike up conversations with men is the best way to find that. That's how a lot of women "hunt". We are wired differently, and have a whole different set of risks when it comes to starting new relationships too. So our hunting is different. And yes, when done right it works.

There's nothing wrong with men striking up that conversation either, if they're not flocking to your door. The important thing is he asks. Let me repeat that...he ASKS. He expresses some interest in her and what she wants instead of making assumptions. He also volunteers some information of his own so she can see and evaluate him too. You know, the whole socially expected reciprocal self-disclosure thing. There's a reason it's the expected norm, it's a mutual pattern. And a good woman is looking for mutuality, not a "provider".

If she doesn't reciprocate when given the opportunity, she's not worth the time. But she has to be given the opportunity, and when she does attempt to tell you what she wants or try to find out what you want you have to listen to her and be honest about yourself. A lot of men do the whole macho "I don't need anything" crap, like having needs makes them weak or unattractive or opens them up to demands. The opposite is actually true. It's not knowing and not being known that causes insecurity and frustration, not the knowing. Women really do want to have an equal part and be understood, and they'll give you all kinds of help if you just give them the chance without blocking yourself or them off.

You strike up the conversation and then the man has to ask ? Are we talking about a one night stand here or a marriage proposal ?

 

[Shadow]

Good point--if neither partner has to do a hell of a lot of seducing then I guess that's what you call both of them getting lucky

I don't think there is any reasonable norm as far as expectations go. Again it all depends on the individual man and woman. Men are the agressors and women are the gate keepers.
It's just the way it is. Men have to pass the test and the woman is in control of consenting.
Surely women understand they have such power.

I think it goes both ways sometimes. Have you ever had an aggressive woman come on to you or actively persue you, that you had no interest in what so ever? I think that women who take on this type of role probably get turned down and rejected as often as the men do. Do you like being the hunted,better than doing the hunting...I'm curious as to if men really want to be the one pursued?


The problem is that women are emotional (and tend to get attached) where men can be more interested in just the physical (with no need for attachment in some cases),so natually women are going to be more careful and guarded than men when it comes to sex. Usually if a woman is interested in you at all,they are already emotionally involved.

Though it's the exception I imagine some aggressive women win some and lose some like a man would but I'll give em credit for taking the risk. I think some men like to be chased for a change of pace--some maybe not.
Ah yes the hard wiring question again---men go for the emotions thru sex and vice versa. Always the dilemma. So women feel like they can protect their feelings by carefully consenting to sex?[/QUOTE]

Depending on what they want out of the relationship...yes,they probably do. If they know the man is not invested (or planing on it) and they know that they need/want more than just the sex...they may not want to risk getting hurt over a quick fling. If they can detach themselves from the emotional side of things,they may just go for it. Mainly it depends on how much they actually care about the other person IMO.

 

[dilloduck]

I think it goes both ways sometimes. Have you ever had an aggressive woman come on to you or actively persue you, that you had no interest in what so ever? I think that women who take on this type of role probably get turned down and rejected as often as the men do. Do you like being the hunted,better than doing the hunting...I'm curious as to if men really want to be the one pursued?


The problem is that women are emotional (and tend to get attached) where men can be more interested in just the physical (with no need for attachment in some cases),so natually women are going to be more careful and guarded than men when it comes to sex. Usually if a woman is interested in you at all,they are already emotionally involved.

Though it's the exception I imagine some aggressive women win some and lose some like a man would but I'll give em credit for taking the risk. I think some men like to be chased for a change of pace--some maybe not.
Ah yes the hard wiring question again---men go for the emotions thru sex and vice versa. Always the dilemma. So women feel like they can protect their feelings by carefully consenting to sex?[/QUOTE]

Depending on what they want out of the relationship...yes,they probably do. If they know the man is not invested (or planing on it) and they know that they need/want more than just the sex...they may not want to risk getting hurt over a quick fling. If they can detach themselves from the emotional side of things,they may just go for it. Mainly it depends on how much they actually care about the other person IMO.

agreed--and what they are interested in the long run --if anything.

 

[goldcatt]

Well,if it's true that there are lots of women who just want sex without the formalities...guess you wouldn't really need to seduce them. So "hey baby,how do you want it" could work after all. Give it a shot.

Define what you mean by "Kow towing". What do you think is unreasonable in the way of a woman's expectations in getting to know her partner before sex takes place in a relationship?

Good point--if neither partner has to do a hell of a lot of seducing then I guess that's what you call both of them getting lucky

I don't think there is any reasonable norm as far as expectations go. Again it all depends on the individual man and woman. Men are the agressors and women are the gate keepers.
It's just the way it is. Men have to pass the test and the woman is in control of consenting.
Surely women understand they have such power.

I think it goes both ways sometimes. Have you ever had an aggressive woman come on to you or actively persue you, that you had no interest in what so ever? I think that women who take on this type of role probably get turned down and rejected as often as the men do. Do you like being the hunted,better than doing the hunting...I'm curious as to if men really want to be the one pursued?


The problem is that women are emotional (and tend to get attached) where men can be more interested in just the physical (with no need for attachment in some cases),so natually women are going to be more careful and guarded than men when it comes to sex. Usually if a woman is interested in you at all,they are already emotionally involved.

There are safety issues involved in just going home from a bar with a stranger too. It's pointless to try to deny that. Is it likely that this particular guy is going to be a psycho? Probably not. But you never know what you're getting yourself into, and a woman really is physically vulnerable. Getting to know him a little first is as much about safety as emotions. Which is why people tend to look for referrals through trusted third parties for these kinds of things if all they want is an anonymous, casual one nighter. Or turn to a FWB situation, but that has its own potential pitfalls. Neither is something I'm interested in where I am right now, but there are those who are. Whatever works for them.

 

[Shadow]

Though it's the exception I imagine some aggressive women win some and lose some like a man would but I'll give em credit for taking the risk. I think some men like to be chased for a change of pace--some maybe not.
Ah yes the hard wiring question again---men go for the emotions thru sex and vice versa. Always the dilemma. So women feel like they can protect their feelings by carefully consenting to sex?[/QUOTE]

Depending on what they want out of the relationship...yes,they probably do. If they know the man is not invested (or planing on it) and they know that they need/want more than just the sex...they may not want to risk getting hurt over a quick fling. If they can detach themselves from the emotional side of things,they may just go for it. Mainly it depends on how much they actually care about the other person IMO.

agreed--and what they are interested in the long run --if anything.

Good...glad we got that settled.

 

[dilloduck]

Good point--if neither partner has to do a hell of a lot of seducing then I guess that's what you call both of them getting lucky

I don't think there is any reasonable norm as far as expectations go. Again it all depends on the individual man and woman. Men are the agressors and women are the gate keepers.
It's just the way it is. Men have to pass the test and the woman is in control of consenting.
Surely women understand they have such power.

I think it goes both ways sometimes. Have you ever had an aggressive woman come on to you or actively persue you, that you had no interest in what so ever? I think that women who take on this type of role probably get turned down and rejected as often as the men do. Do you like being the hunted,better than doing the hunting...I'm curious as to if men really want to be the one pursued?


The problem is that women are emotional (and tend to get attached) where men can be more interested in just the physical (with no need for attachment in some cases),so natually women are going to be more careful and guarded than men when it comes to sex. Usually if a woman is interested in you at all,they are already emotionally involved.

There are safety issues involved in just going home from a bar with a stranger too. It's pointless to try to deny that. Is it likely that this particular guy is going to be a psycho? Probably not. But you never know what you're getting yourself into, and a woman really is physically vulnerable. Getting to know him a little first is as much about safety as emotions. Which is why people tend to look for referrals through trusted third parties for these kinds of things if all they want is an anonymous, casual one nighter. Or turn to a FWB situation, but that has its own potential pitfalls. Neither is something I'm interested in where I am right now, but there are those who are. Whatever works for them.

Well I didn't intend for it to get personal---Lumpy just brought out an interesting point----how does a guy go about getting laid ? Just curious how women resolved it.

 

[goldcatt]

So if you are in need of male companionship or just need to get laid you go out and strike up conversations with men and suggest things that you woudl like to do ? I mean how does this really work for y'all when men aint flocking to the door ?

Wanting male companionship, yep. Going out to strike up conversations with men is the best way to find that. That's how a lot of women "hunt". We are wired differently, and have a whole different set of risks when it comes to starting new relationships too. So our hunting is different. And yes, when done right it works.

There's nothing wrong with men striking up that conversation either, if they're not flocking to your door. The important thing is he asks. Let me repeat that...he ASKS. He expresses some interest in her and what she wants instead of making assumptions. He also volunteers some information of his own so she can see and evaluate him too. You know, the whole socially expected reciprocal self-disclosure thing. There's a reason it's the expected norm, it's a mutual pattern. And a good woman is looking for mutuality, not a "provider".

If she doesn't reciprocate when given the opportunity, she's not worth the time. But she has to be given the opportunity, and when she does attempt to tell you what she wants or try to find out what you want you have to listen to her and be honest about yourself. A lot of men do the whole macho "I don't need anything" crap, like having needs makes them weak or unattractive or opens them up to demands. The opposite is actually true. It's not knowing and not being known that causes insecurity and frustration, not the knowing. Women really do want to have an equal part and be understood, and they'll give you all kinds of help if you just give them the chance without blocking yourself or them off.

You strike up the conversation and then the man has to ask ? Are we talking about a one night stand here or a marriage proposal ?

*sigh* We're talking about something in between. Companionship, dating, whatever you might want to call it - that will almost definitely get you some and for more than one night. And it's not just him who has to ask. That's my whole point. It's both parties' responsibility. Not just his, not just hers. But one can pretty effectively shut the other out by seeming disinterested whether that's the actual case or not - and that's when you have issues.

 

[dilloduck]

Wanting male companionship, yep. Going out to strike up conversations with men is the best way to find that. That's how a lot of women "hunt". We are wired differently, and have a whole different set of risks when it comes to starting new relationships too. So our hunting is different. And yes, when done right it works.

There's nothing wrong with men striking up that conversation either, if they're not flocking to your door. The important thing is he asks. Let me repeat that...he ASKS. He expresses some interest in her and what she wants instead of making assumptions. He also volunteers some information of his own so she can see and evaluate him too. You know, the whole socially expected reciprocal self-disclosure thing. There's a reason it's the expected norm, it's a mutual pattern. And a good woman is looking for mutuality, not a "provider".

If she doesn't reciprocate when given the opportunity, she's not worth the time. But she has to be given the opportunity, and when she does attempt to tell you what she wants or try to find out what you want you have to listen to her and be honest about yourself. A lot of men do the whole macho "I don't need anything" crap, like having needs makes them weak or unattractive or opens them up to demands. The opposite is actually true. It's not knowing and not being known that causes insecurity and frustration, not the knowing. Women really do want to have an equal part and be understood, and they'll give you all kinds of help if you just give them the chance without blocking yourself or them off.

You strike up the conversation and then the man has to ask ? Are we talking about a one night stand here or a marriage proposal ?

*sigh* We're talking about something in between. Companionship, dating, whatever you might want to call it - that will almost definitely get you some and for more than one night. And it's not just him who has to ask. That's my whole point. It's both parties' responsibility. Not just his, not just hers. But one can pretty effectively shut the other out by seeming disinterested whether that's the actual case or not - and that's when you have issues.

Well hell---if one shuts the other out it lights out-- end of story. You don't have to have issues for that to happen----maybe it just isnt what you wanted.

 

[Shadow]

Good point--if neither partner has to do a hell of a lot of seducing then I guess that's what you call both of them getting lucky

I don't think there is any reasonable norm as far as expectations go. Again it all depends on the individual man and woman. Men are the agressors and women are the gate keepers.
It's just the way it is. Men have to pass the test and the woman is in control of consenting.
Surely women understand they have such power.

I think it goes both ways sometimes. Have you ever had an aggressive woman come on to you or actively persue you, that you had no interest in what so ever? I think that women who take on this type of role probably get turned down and rejected as often as the men do. Do you like being the hunted,better than doing the hunting...I'm curious as to if men really want to be the one pursued?


The problem is that women are emotional (and tend to get attached) where men can be more interested in just the physical (with no need for attachment in some cases),so natually women are going to be more careful and guarded than men when it comes to sex. Usually if a woman is interested in you at all,they are already emotionally involved.

There are safety issues involved in just going home from a bar with a stranger too. It's pointless to try to deny that. Is it likely that this particular guy is going to be a psycho? Probably not. But you never know what you're getting yourself into, and a woman really is physically vulnerable. Getting to know him a little first is as much about safety as emotions. Which is why people tend to look for referrals through trusted third parties for these kinds of things if all they want is an anonymous, casual one nighter. Or turn to a FWB situation, but that has its own potential pitfalls. Neither is something I'm interested in where I am right now, but there are those who are. Whatever works for them.

I agree and I have never been interested in casual one nighters either...not even when I was young and dumb. Too risky in many different ways.

I'm kind of going at this whole seduction senario as being between two people who are already somewhat aquainted with each other. Not really as a situation were a person is trying to pick up a stranger at a club or anything like that.

 

[goldcatt]

I think it goes both ways sometimes. Have you ever had an aggressive woman come on to you or actively persue you, that you had no interest in what so ever? I think that women who take on this type of role probably get turned down and rejected as often as the men do. Do you like being the hunted,better than doing the hunting...I'm curious as to if men really want to be the one pursued?


The problem is that women are emotional (and tend to get attached) where men can be more interested in just the physical (with no need for attachment in some cases),so natually women are going to be more careful and guarded than men when it comes to sex. Usually if a woman is interested in you at all,they are already emotionally involved.

There are safety issues involved in just going home from a bar with a stranger too. It's pointless to try to deny that. Is it likely that this particular guy is going to be a psycho? Probably not. But you never know what you're getting yourself into, and a woman really is physically vulnerable. Getting to know him a little first is as much about safety as emotions. Which is why people tend to look for referrals through trusted third parties for these kinds of things if all they want is an anonymous, casual one nighter. Or turn to a FWB situation, but that has its own potential pitfalls. Neither is something I'm interested in where I am right now, but there are those who are. Whatever works for them.

Well I didn't intend for it to get personal---Lumpy just brought out an interesting point----how does a guy go about getting laid ? Just curious how women resolved it.

And since you asked, women are telling you how they resolve it.

And also how they don't, and why. It's not personal.

 

[goldcatt]

I think it goes both ways sometimes. Have you ever had an aggressive woman come on to you or actively persue you, that you had no interest in what so ever? I think that women who take on this type of role probably get turned down and rejected as often as the men do. Do you like being the hunted,better than doing the hunting...I'm curious as to if men really want to be the one pursued?


The problem is that women are emotional (and tend to get attached) where men can be more interested in just the physical (with no need for attachment in some cases),so natually women are going to be more careful and guarded than men when it comes to sex. Usually if a woman is interested in you at all,they are already emotionally involved.

There are safety issues involved in just going home from a bar with a stranger too. It's pointless to try to deny that. Is it likely that this particular guy is going to be a psycho? Probably not. But you never know what you're getting yourself into, and a woman really is physically vulnerable. Getting to know him a little first is as much about safety as emotions. Which is why people tend to look for referrals through trusted third parties for these kinds of things if all they want is an anonymous, casual one nighter. Or turn to a FWB situation, but that has its own potential pitfalls. Neither is something I'm interested in where I am right now, but there are those who are. Whatever works for them.

I agree and I have never been interested in casual one nighters either...not even when I was young and dumb. Too risky in many different ways.

I'm kind of going at this whole seduction senario as being between two people who are already somewhat aquainted with each other. Not really as a situation were a person is trying to pick up a stranger at a club or anything like that.

That's how I was reading it too. One nighters are a whole different ball game. I won't pretend I haven't done it at one point, but I realized I'm not really immortal a long, long time ago.

 

[dilloduck]

There are safety issues involved in just going home from a bar with a stranger too. It's pointless to try to deny that. Is it likely that this particular guy is going to be a psycho? Probably not. But you never know what you're getting yourself into, and a woman really is physically vulnerable. Getting to know him a little first is as much about safety as emotions. Which is why people tend to look for referrals through trusted third parties for these kinds of things if all they want is an anonymous, casual one nighter. Or turn to a FWB situation, but that has its own potential pitfalls. Neither is something I'm interested in where I am right now, but there are those who are. Whatever works for them.

Well I didn't intend for it to get personal---Lumpy just brought out an interesting point----how does a guy go about getting laid ? Just curious how women resolved it.

And since you asked, women are telling you how they resolve it.

And also how they don't, and why. It's not personal.

I don't WANNA know how they resolve it personally-----I wanna know what they think the female pattern is.

 

[dilloduck]

I think it goes both ways sometimes. Have you ever had an aggressive woman come on to you or actively persue you, that you had no interest in what so ever? I think that women who take on this type of role probably get turned down and rejected as often as the men do. Do you like being the hunted,better than doing the hunting...I'm curious as to if men really want to be the one pursued?


The problem is that women are emotional (and tend to get attached) where men can be more interested in just the physical (with no need for attachment in some cases),so natually women are going to be more careful and guarded than men when it comes to sex. Usually if a woman is interested in you at all,they are already emotionally involved.

There are safety issues involved in just going home from a bar with a stranger too. It's pointless to try to deny that. Is it likely that this particular guy is going to be a psycho? Probably not. But you never know what you're getting yourself into, and a woman really is physically vulnerable. Getting to know him a little first is as much about safety as emotions. Which is why people tend to look for referrals through trusted third parties for these kinds of things if all they want is an anonymous, casual one nighter. Or turn to a FWB situation, but that has its own potential pitfalls. Neither is something I'm interested in where I am right now, but there are those who are. Whatever works for them.

I agree and I have never been interested in casual one nighters either...not even when I was young and dumb. Too risky in many different ways.

I'm kind of going at this whole seduction senario as being between two people who are already somewhat aquainted with each other. Not really as a situation were a person is trying to pick up a stranger at a club or anything like that.

Gotcha----well with the somewhat aquainted scenario most of the damn ice is already broken-----then it's down to eyelash batting and some inneundo---you figure that out really quick LOL. It's a go or a no go.