Santa Claus is DEAD!

Discussion in 'Humor' started by amrchaos, Dec 5, 2011.

  1. amrchaos
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    amrchaos Pentheus torn apart

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    That is right folks. The first Salvos in the WAR against Christmas(WAC) are being fired by yours Truly!

    I decided to start it off by telling the "truth"(Ha-HA) about Santa Claus to all the boys and girls in the world. I have not properly researched this, using only wikipedia and popular folk tales, to create this "WAC"-toid!

    1) Who was Santa Claus?

    There are alot of historical figures that can fit the "Santa Myth" but the most likely person is probably Saint Nicholas who lived around the 4th centurary and was a bishop for the Roman church(before the Split folks!). In other worlds--the Real Santa is DEAD! and has been dead for quite awhile. Kind of make you wonder about the "Spirit" in the terms of the Phrase "Spirit of Christmas", huh?


    2) Why do people Give gifts and presents during this time of year?

    The behavior of gift giving around Christmas time is probably a hybrid of Saint Nicholas trait of secret gift giving, the christian theology concerning giving to the poor while not knowing the actually date of Jesus birth coupled with the "Sick habit of parents loving to play with their children minds for their own twisted amusement"

    Note how parents become highly upset when some suggests that there is no Santa Claus. It is not to preserve their childs innocents, it is to preserve the parents horrible idea of Fun with the kids!!

    3)Certain Christian groups tend to hold mass on Christmas or Christmas eve. What are they actually doing?

    Those Christains are holding a seance to invite the "Holy Hosts" and its spiritual supporters to come down to earth and spread "good cheer".

    Understand, that it is usually these same groups that train and employ exorcists to get rid of evil spirits, but yet they seek to incite "Holy Spiritual Possesions" amongs their flock and hanger-rounds during this time of year. Do they not understand that we "Non-Christians" do not wish to be infected with the Jesus Virus? They do not have complete understand of the "Holiest of Holies" yet they seek to provoke!!

    Christmas Mass should be banned because how do we know what the Holy Ghosts is going to do to us! Remember the same god that they claim to love Christians is the same God that drop dissenters to Moses straight to Sheol While alive!! How do we non-theists to be assured that you Chrare not trying to make us suffer a similiar fate, huh??

    4)What Do you tell little Children when they ask about Santa?

    Tell them the truth. Santa is a Disembodied spirit that is attached to the ghastly "Holy Hosts" entourage that seeks to possess normal human beings with christian "good cheer" that if taken to extremes can leave you broke, suffering and tired from jumping up and down screaming "Hallujah"! In short, don't sit on Santa's lap, run from him!
     
  2. Avatar4321
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    Avatar4321 Diamond Member Gold Supporting Member

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    I think you are all over the board with this one. But yes, the real Santa is dead. Nothing wrong with that, we all die someday.
     
  3. Douger
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  4. Mr. H.
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    Mr. H. Diamond Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  5. syrenn
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    :lol:


    For someone who is trying to give a history lesson on santa, christmas and christmas treidtions.... damn did you ever get it all wrong.

     
  6. nitroz
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    nitroz INDEPENDENTly ruthless

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    Dangit!

    Who's the bastard who trapped him before I did?
    Now I'll never get a fat man coming down the chimney to deliver the coal mines to me. :(
     
  7. Colin
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    Colin Gold Member

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    Fucking liar! I saw his photograph only yesterday!


    [​IMG]
     
  8. amrchaos
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    amrchaos Pentheus torn apart

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    Since YOU know so much, how about telling us the truth about Santa Claus!

    Is he alive or is he dead?

    Are there Christians who are trying to invoke "The Holy Hosts" during Christmas(Catholics!! They toss around Blessings like Vodou priests toss around curses!!)

    And finally, How does Santa, who "supposedly" deliver toys to all the "good boys and girls" of the world, get around in one night--No, make that "globetrot in two hours" Nothing physical can do that!!

    Santa must be Dead.
     
  9. syrenn
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    Silly that is kwanzaa clause.
     
  10. syrenn
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    Since i do know quite a bit more about it then you seem to think you do. I would suggest you do some research on your own. And learn something in the process.
     

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