Question About Marriage

[Mr. Ofo Oao]

That's terrible. Do you not realize how much damage that does to children? They need a mother and father in their lives. Not in separate houses. Just go and see our prisons filled with people who grew up in broken homes.

I don't by that...there are maybe 316,128,839 people in America. The population of incacreated people in America is 2,266,800. What percentage of Americans are reared in a separated, divorced, or single parent household? If the number is near 54% (as this website suggests: Broken Homes in the United States Are at Alarming Level Study Finds,) then obviously coming from a separated, divorced, or single-parent household doesn't means that you will turn out to be a crimal.

There is nothing wrong with shared custody of children.

 

[n0spam4me]

That's terrible. Do you not realize how much damage that does to children? They need a mother and father in their lives. Not in separate houses. Just go and see our prisons filled with people who grew up in broken homes.

I don't by that...there are maybe 316,128,839 people in America. The population of incacreated people in America is 2,266,800. What percentage of Americans are reared in a separated, divorced, or single parent household? If the number is near 54% (as this website suggests: Broken Homes in the United States Are at Alarming Level Study Finds,) then obviously coming from a separated, divorced, or single-parent household doesn't means that you will turn out to be a crimal.

There is nothing wrong with shared custody of children.

"nothing wrong with shared custody ..... "

This is highly dependent on the people involved. The are cases of say a Mother who gets custody of children allegedly in a "shared" manner and proceeds to attempt to poison the kids minds against their Father ( usually backfires, kids are smart )
I would say that at present "civilization" is broken, the function of parenting is not only to raise up the kiddies, but to instill in them the valuable algorithms that will enable them to function as parents, the cycle has been broken and all too many kids these days are "growing up" to the point of being able to at least biologically reproduce, but being totally clueless as to exactly what the job of raising a child actually involves. Humanity is in deep do-do!

 

[NoNukes]

...can anyone tell me, besides the fulfillment of the natural sexual desires, what is the purpose of marriage?

If anyone says, "Because the Bible says that it was not good for Adam to be alone," I'm not a Bible-believer though I do use the Bible in debates for those who believe in the Bible.

Thanks for all answers.

A companion for life.

 

[Mr. Ofo Oao]

...can anyone tell me, besides the fulfillment of the natural sexual desires, what is the purpose of marriage?

If anyone says, "Because the Bible says that it was not good for Adam to be alone," I'm not a Bible-believer though I do use the Bible in debates for those who believe in the Bible.

Thanks for all answers.

A companion for life.

What if you are satisfied with your TV, computer, and DVD player as life companions?

 

[AquaAthena]

...can anyone tell me, besides the fulfillment of the natural sexual desires, what is the purpose of marriage?

If anyone says, "Because the Bible says that it was not good for Adam to be alone," I'm not a Bible-believer though I do use the Bible in debates for those who believe in the Bible.

Thanks for all answers.

I like marriage. I think it deepens one's commitment to another by adding a new dimension to the relationship. I think it is harder to let go, of a relationship if one is married, rather than merely cohabiting. I feel most couples try harder and longer to correct challenges in a marriage when the value placed on promises made, is respected and appreciated.

Marriage is not for everyone. I learned that the hard way.

I still like marriage if two people are very serious and in a committed loving relationship. I think it bonds them, albeit with no guarantees.

 

[n0spam4me]

Just my $0.02 worth, I'm "straight" however, never would I deny any two sentient beings the joy of joining together in marriage, when you find your true life partner, it is great joy indeed. Our legal system is old & obsolete, the state should NOT mandate Male/Female only marriage but allow for same-sex relationships.
LIFE, LIBERTY & THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS ......
OK, in total liberty, if ones pursuit of happiness leads then into a same sex relationship, far be it from the law givers to say no.

 

[fbj]

To have a life long partner to share your lifetime experiences and journeys.
To have support though good and bad times.
To have a best friend at your side.
Your financial status is always better than being by yourself with just your own income (unless you are making real good money) most of us are just average income workers.
Having someone else with you to share you life is always better than being alone.
There are a few exceptions of some who really love being alone and don't want a partner or marriage.
I had a great uncle who was like that, but he had a life long girlfriend who felt the same way. They each had their own place and each one of them was making good money so that they were able to have that life style choice. They were together for 50 years before my uncle died.

Not if you are a man

 

[NoNukes]

...can anyone tell me, besides the fulfillment of the natural sexual desires, what is the purpose of marriage?

If anyone says, "Because the Bible says that it was not good for Adam to be alone," I'm not a Bible-believer though I do use the Bible in debates for those who believe in the Bible.

Thanks for all answers.

A companion for life.

What if you are satisfied with your TV, computer, and DVD player as life companions?

Then I guess you are set and do not need warm, human company.

 

[Mr. Ofo Oao]

I like marriage. I think it deepens one's commitment to another by adding a new dimension to the relationship. I think it is harder to let go, of a relationship if one is married, rather than merely cohabiting. I feel most couples try harder and longer to correct challenges in a marriage when the value placed on promises made, is respected and appreciated.

Marriage is not for everyone. I learned that the hard way.

I still like marriage if two people are very serious and in a committed loving relationship. I think it bonds them, albeit with no guarantees.

Thanks for your reply...I can't think of a reason to marry except for fulfillment of the natural sexual desires, and there are sex-workers for that.

Loners (like me) don't need companionship which is what I hear a lot of people saying is a good reason to marry.

 

[Mr. Ofo Oao]

Just my $0.02 worth, I'm "straight" however, never would I deny any two sentient beings the joy of joining together in marriage, when you find your true life partner, it is great joy indeed. Our legal system is old & obsolete, the state should NOT mandate Male/Female only marriage but allow for same-sex relationships.
LIFE, LIBERTY & THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS ......
OK, in total liberty, if ones pursuit of happiness leads then into a same sex relationship, far be it from the law givers to say no.

Thanks for replying.

 

[Mr. Ofo Oao]

Then I guess you are set and do not need warm, human company.

Yeah. I come from a religious background that taught that marriage is half of faith. I don't believe in that religion anymore but the idea that marriage is half of faith might make one wonder what is the purpose of marriage.

For me, a TV, DVD player, and computer is all I need for company.

 

[AVG-JOE]

I can only speak for myself...

I'm lazy. Just thinking about the work involved in finding a date for Halloween, New Years Eve and Valentines Day every freaking year for the rest of my life made marriage the only sensible option.

 

[AVG-JOE]

Well, that and finding someone who was perfect for me

That helped.​

 

[Andylusion]

That's terrible. Do you not realize how much damage that does to children? They need a mother and father in their lives. Not in separate houses. Just go and see our prisons filled with people who grew up in broken homes.

I don't by that...there are maybe 316,128,839 people in America. The population of incacreated people in America is 2,266,800. What percentage of Americans are reared in a separated, divorced, or single parent household? If the number is near 54% (as this website suggests: Broken Homes in the United States Are at Alarming Level Study Finds,) then obviously coming from a separated, divorced, or single-parent household doesn't means that you will turn out to be a crimal.

There is nothing wrong with shared custody of children.

Are you serious? No, of course it doesn't automatically mean they are guaranteed to end up criminals. Just like smoking a cigarette doesn't guarantee lung cancer. But clearly, statistically both greatly increase the chances. How can you even suggest otherwise?

 

[Andylusion]

Children from broken homes are five times more likely to suffer mental troubles says Government study Daily Mail Online

It also showed that two parents are much better than one if children are to avoid slipping into emotional distress and anti-social behaviour.

The impact of broken homes on learning potential Dr. David Sortino

In fact, teachers can generally predict an evolving divorce based on observation of the student’s school performance

Stats of effects in broken homes - Mechanicsville Local Letters To The Editor

Did you know that more than 3 in 10 children grow up in broken homes and children from broken homes account for:

70 percent of those in juvenile detention.

57 percent of all prison inmates.

63 percent of teen suicides.

71 percent of teen pregnancies.

90 percent of homeless juveniles and runaways.

71 percent of high school dropouts.

75 percent of all drug users.

85 percent of behavioral disorders.

Cookies must be enabled. The Australian
Broken homes can disadvantage kids for life, study finds

That required 3 minutes of Googling "effects on children of broken homes"

I've seen dozens more in the past. In fact, I can't think of ONE research paper of any kind anywhere, that did not show a negative effect of divorce, or broken homes.

And that is a fraction of what I've seen growing up myself. Every person I grew up with, who was in a broken home, all of them turned out crazy. Not one of them didn't end up nutz.

Now again, am I saying everyone single one will end up nutz? Of course not. But my experience matches the statistics.

In fact, ironically, I was just listening on the radio today, and some lady called in saying her daughter was out of control, and going nutz, and she couldn't figure out what to do, and they were literally telling her she needed to leave, and on and on and on... and the guy on the radio said.... "wait wait.... so and her father is there in the home?"
Yes....
Radio guy - "her 'real' father?"
silence.... well... no, not her biological father.

Well that's the problem. Even the dude on the radio could tell by how crazy the kid was, what the problem was. Want to know why? Because it's common that kids growing up in broken homes go nutz. I've seen it. I've read it. The statics show it.

For you to deny this... is insanity. I'm not trying to be insulting, or mean. I'm not I swear. It's just that the evidence is just over whelming. It's like argument the moon is made of cheeze.... no..... it isn't. Sharing custody isn't damaging to children.... No.... it is. That's it. End of story. The facts are there. You can choose to accept them or ignore them, but they don't change.

 

[Andylusion]

I can only speak for myself...

I'm lazy. Just thinking about the work involved in finding a date for Halloween, New Years Eve and Valentines Day every freaking year for the rest of my life made marriage the only sensible option.

But dude, that is so true! You want to know why married men, universally out perform unmarried men? It's that right there!

Unmarried men, are still freaking out about girls. They can't concentrate in class, because they are checking out the skirt up two chairs.

Male married students, universally do better than unmarried students. Well duh.... they are not distracted by every female walking through the college. His distraction already has a ring on her finger.

Married men, perform better at their jobs. Well crap... they are not distracted by every female customer that walks through the door, or every female co-worker at their job.

Now, don't get me wrong. Men still 'notice', but we're not thinking "oh did she notice me? I wonder if she's busy on New Year Eve? Maybe I should ask her out"

Why? Cause we already have our hot curves at home. We don't another. (at least most decent guys don't).

This is why I really get ticked off at stupid parents "Don't get married until your 40 and have college degree, and post-doc, and $100K a year job!"....

You parents.... sorry to be blunt, but if that's what you are telling your kids... you nutz. How men get all that stuff, is by having a stable marriage, which allows them the confidence and strength, and stamina to get all that others stuff.

 

[AVG-JOE]

Noticing is certainly less distracting than dating... that's for damn sure. Being married and not dead, I'm still pleasantly distracted by customers and coeds in skirts. Fortunately, there's not much work involved in 'being distracted'.

Just 'cause a guy's on a strict diet doesn't mean that he can't check out the menu.

I don't really agree with any admonishment to marry or not get married until some arbitrary list is checked off... Get married because you've found a friend that you want to go in to a life-long partnership with. If you understand the commitment required to agree to the line "Til death do you part", that partner will be your best asset through good times and bad.

"Woman... I can hardly express..."​

"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans..." ​

​

 

[Mr. Ofo Oao]

Are you serious? No, of course it doesn't automatically mean they are guaranteed to end up criminals. Just like smoking a cigarette doesn't guarantee lung cancer. But clearly, statistically both greatly increase the chances. How can you even suggest otherwise?

I've heard the saying that "statistics can be made to say anything," so statistics are not the b-all-that-ends-all for me. I can speak for myself, I have 5 siblings; we all come from divorced/separated/never married relationships between our various combinations of parents. NONE OF US ARE CRIMINALS...so for me, being from a home where the parents do not cohabit is not any kind of evidence that the children are more likely to be criminals.

 

[Mr. Ofo Oao]

Children from broken homes are five times more likely to suffer mental troubles says Government study Daily Mail Online

It also showed that two parents are much better than one if children are to avoid slipping into emotional distress and anti-social behaviour.

The impact of broken homes on learning potential Dr. David Sortino

In fact, teachers can generally predict an evolving divorce based on observation of the student’s school performance

Stats of effects in broken homes - Mechanicsville Local Letters To The Editor

Did you know that more than 3 in 10 children grow up in broken homes and children from broken homes account for:

70 percent of those in juvenile detention.

57 percent of all prison inmates.

63 percent of teen suicides.

71 percent of teen pregnancies.

90 percent of homeless juveniles and runaways.

71 percent of high school dropouts.

75 percent of all drug users.

85 percent of behavioral disorders.

Cookies must be enabled. The Australian
Broken homes can disadvantage kids for life, study finds

That required 3 minutes of Googling "effects on children of broken homes"

I've seen dozens more in the past. In fact, I can't think of ONE research paper of any kind anywhere, that did not show a negative effect of divorce, or broken homes.

And that is a fraction of what I've seen growing up myself. Every person I grew up with, who was in a broken home, all of them turned out crazy. Not one of them didn't end up nutz.

Now again, am I saying everyone single one will end up nutz? Of course not. But my experience matches the statistics.

In fact, ironically, I was just listening on the radio today, and some lady called in saying her daughter was out of control, and going nutz, and she couldn't figure out what to do, and they were literally telling her she needed to leave, and on and on and on... and the guy on the radio said.... "wait wait.... so and her father is there in the home?"
Yes....
Radio guy - "her 'real' father?"
silence.... well... no, not her biological father.

Well that's the problem. Even the dude on the radio could tell by how crazy the kid was, what the problem was. Want to know why? Because it's common that kids growing up in broken homes go nutz. I've seen it. I've read it. The statics show it.

For you to deny this... is insanity. I'm not trying to be insulting, or mean. I'm not I swear. It's just that the evidence is just over whelming. It's like argument the moon is made of cheeze.... no..... it isn't. Sharing custody isn't damaging to children.... No.... it is. That's it. End of story. The facts are there. You can choose to accept them or ignore them, but they don't change.

Ever heard the saying that statistics can be made to say anything?

 

[Andylusion]

Children from broken homes are five times more likely to suffer mental troubles says Government study Daily Mail Online

It also showed that two parents are much better than one if children are to avoid slipping into emotional distress and anti-social behaviour.

The impact of broken homes on learning potential Dr. David Sortino

In fact, teachers can generally predict an evolving divorce based on observation of the student’s school performance

Stats of effects in broken homes - Mechanicsville Local Letters To The Editor

Did you know that more than 3 in 10 children grow up in broken homes and children from broken homes account for:

70 percent of those in juvenile detention.

57 percent of all prison inmates.

63 percent of teen suicides.

71 percent of teen pregnancies.

90 percent of homeless juveniles and runaways.

71 percent of high school dropouts.

75 percent of all drug users.

85 percent of behavioral disorders.

Cookies must be enabled. The Australian
Broken homes can disadvantage kids for life, study finds

That required 3 minutes of Googling "effects on children of broken homes"

I've seen dozens more in the past. In fact, I can't think of ONE research paper of any kind anywhere, that did not show a negative effect of divorce, or broken homes.

And that is a fraction of what I've seen growing up myself. Every person I grew up with, who was in a broken home, all of them turned out crazy. Not one of them didn't end up nutz.

Now again, am I saying everyone single one will end up nutz? Of course not. But my experience matches the statistics.

In fact, ironically, I was just listening on the radio today, and some lady called in saying her daughter was out of control, and going nutz, and she couldn't figure out what to do, and they were literally telling her she needed to leave, and on and on and on... and the guy on the radio said.... "wait wait.... so and her father is there in the home?"
Yes....
Radio guy - "her 'real' father?"
silence.... well... no, not her biological father.

Well that's the problem. Even the dude on the radio could tell by how crazy the kid was, what the problem was. Want to know why? Because it's common that kids growing up in broken homes go nutz. I've seen it. I've read it. The statics show it.

For you to deny this... is insanity. I'm not trying to be insulting, or mean. I'm not I swear. It's just that the evidence is just over whelming. It's like argument the moon is made of cheeze.... no..... it isn't. Sharing custody isn't damaging to children.... No.... it is. That's it. End of story. The facts are there. You can choose to accept them or ignore them, but they don't change.

Ever heard the saying that statistics can be made to say anything?

Typically, in those instances, you have people pointing that out, and counter statistics showing the opposite.

If there was even *ONE* example showing the opposite, that would at least give me something to consider.

I haven't even seen one. Not *ONE* example where illegitimate children from shackup, or blended family, ligit kids in a divorced families, showed an average improvement. Not one. At the very *BEST* some limited research showed "little difference". But still showed a 'difference'.

Again, statistics are just that. Statistics. Showing average results over a broad spectrum. There are exceptions in every situation.

So maybe the family you came from was the exception. Some parents stay together until after the kids are largely grown and gone. If your youngest child is heading off to college next year, and you divorce your wife.... chances are that you are not going to screw up your kids, because they are already out of the home, and making their own home.

So you, and your siblings made it. Great. I'm glad. I want *EVERYONE* to make it great. I hope you make a million bucks, have a great job, and a vacation home in Hawaii. I really do. I want everyone to succeed.

Statistically, the best chance your kids have of succeeding, is being in a stable home, with a MOTHER and a FATHER, who are MARRIED, and STAY TOGETHER.

You made it without that, WONDERFUL! That doesn't change the statistical average. And yes, statistics can be messed with. Come up with your evidence of those statistics from dozens on dozens of sources, have all been messed with, and I'll consider it. I will. I promise.