Previous Relationships

[Bonzi]

When getting to know someone of the opposite sex (dating or potentially dating someone), if you feel a connection with them, do you think it's a good idea to talk about previous relationships (good or bad)?

Do you think this is a topic that should be discussed early in the "dating process" or later when it gets more serious?

What about never talking about previous relationships?

This applies to married couples as well.

 

[playtime]

Curiosity is normal... talking about past relationships more than likely is brought up after a couple has been seeing each other for a while, although it would make for an interesting first date if there is a lull in the conversation.

As for being brutally 'honest' about them...may depend on the POV of the other person. Most things I have been honest & open about to the Marine, but not everything, not because of embarrassment or shame- but rather I'd rather not open up old wounds. I'm pretty sure he hasn't divulged e-v-e-r-y-t-h-I-n-g either & I'm not sure I would want to know anyways.

 

[strollingbones]

waste of time.....i never look in the rear view mirror....moving forward at all times...

 

[DGS49]

As in, "how many people, and who exactly, have you gone to bed with before?"

Probably a messy discussion.

I suggest that such information be disseminated only on a "need to know" basis - satisfying a person's curiosity is not sufficient reason to divulge this information.

For example, "We were engaged but I broke it off because I thought she was too emotionally invested in her household pets."

"I'm still paying child support for this kid..."

"She gave me herpes."

That kind of thing should be divulged, but just satisfying the new person's curiosity is not a good enough reason to go into detail And the fact that s/he is asking is itself significant.

 

[Bonzi]

Before I got married, I basically spilled everything out there..... but like on here, it give people the wrong impression.....

I remember telling someone, talking about a female celebrity, "I'd do her" (I said this) - and he automatically thought I would be interested in looking for a 3-some. So you have to be careful what you say......

If I were dating again, if someone told me they had a "love of their life" that got away, it's over.
Or, if they talk about someone a lot, I take that to men, not over them yet, so, again, it's over.
I think if guys want to talk about women they are in love with they should talk to other men, not other women.

 

[shadow355]

After you get to know them, and if you believe the relationship is going somewhere. Maybe not the entire past, but important parts.

I would not air my laundry ( past relationships ) to a girlfriend I knew a short time, who did not need to know , and someone I did not grow to trust .

Shadow 355

 

[TNHarley]

I don't think it really matters. Sure, it might be fun to hang some deadbeat over their heads though lol.
I never ask about sex partners. I don't ask you, don't ask me.. Lol
Of course, I don't guess I really ask about boyfriends either.. Just kinda comes up

 

[Bonzi]

After you get to know them, and if you believe the relationship is going somewhere. Maybe not the entire past, but important parts.

I would not air my laundry ( past relationships ) to a girlfriend I knew a short time, who did not need to know , and someone I did not grow to trust .

Shadow 355

Well what bothers me is when everything is aired out up front in a relationship, but then it's used against you later on.... I guess that's just lack of maturity or insecurity on the other persons part. Also, when you are first dating, you have that massive infatuation thing going and it may bother you but you think you can get over it, but, in reality, no so much. Some people are mental and just can't let things go....

 

[Bonzi]

I don't think it really matters. Sure, it might be fun to hang some deadbeat over their heads though lol.
I never ask about sex partners. I don't ask you, don't ask me.. Lol
Of course, I don't guess I really ask about boyfriends either.. Just kinda comes up

I'm like you. I've even told me husband, just lie to me... I don't wanna know... rather living in a delusional world!

 

[Delta4Embassy]

When getting to know someone of the opposite sex (dating or potentially dating someone), if you feel a connection with them, do you think it's a good idea to talk about previous relationships (good or bad)?

Do you think this is a topic that should be discussed early in the "dating process" or later when it gets more serious?

What about never talking about previous relationships?

This applies to married couples as well.

I think our culture has every relationship begin with a clean slate, or at least the appearence of one. While the older we are the more likely we've been in relationships prior, there's an unspoken rule that you don't talk about it. Everyone's a virgin in effect. And I think that if you bring up anything about a prior relationship that only dispells the illusion causing problems. No matter the usage or context. Even if it's seemingly benign like "It's so awesome you put the toilet seat back down." Now that you were comfortable enough to use your SO's bathroom and thus were very intimate indeed is in the current person's head. Whereas prior they coulda at least lied to themselves and thus let themselves enjoy the fantasy you're their first like.

I think our culture would have to be substantially different for past relationships to be involved inc urrent relationships to any good effect.

 

[waltky]

Uncle Ferd don't talk `bout previous relations...

... he ain't the kind to kiss an' tell.

 

[Moonglow]

I don't tell them jack shit about my past mistakes, and i prefer not to hear about theirs....

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

When getting to know someone of the opposite sex (dating or potentially dating someone), if you feel a connection with them, do you think it's a good idea to talk about previous relationships (good or bad)?

Do you think this is a topic that should be discussed early in the "dating process" or later when it gets more serious?

What about never talking about previous relationships?

This applies to married couples as well.

I would never bring up past relationships,if they want to know they'll ask.

 

[Bonzi]

When getting to know someone of the opposite sex (dating or potentially dating someone), if you feel a connection with them, do you think it's a good idea to talk about previous relationships (good or bad)?

Do you think this is a topic that should be discussed early in the "dating process" or later when it gets more serious?

What about never talking about previous relationships?

This applies to married couples as well.

I would never bring up past relationships,if they want to know they'll ask.

In the past, I have asked, not really wanting to know - normally, I heard what I didn't want to hear.
If I'm ever single again, will be asking lots of questions! It's important to know certain things, I guess that is why dating sites are so popular, of course, you can lie on those....

 

[Muhammed]

When getting to know someone of the opposite sex (dating or potentially dating someone), if you feel a connection with them, do you think it's a good idea to talk about previous relationships (good or bad)?

Do you think this is a topic that should be discussed early in the "dating process" or later when it gets more serious?

What about never talking about previous relationships?

This applies to married couples as well.

I'd always steer the conversation away from the then to the now.

Especially since I've had some non-traditional relationships. For instance, my first child, my twins girls and their mother and the mother of two of my other kids all lived together in a big happy family.

Sort of like a harem in an open relationship. All three of us could date other people while we were living together. It's easier to not even try to explain that to a girl you just started dating.