Pet Deaths

[Gracie]

This is the Lounge. If you wanna laugh at someone's sorrow over the death of a pet, don't do it here. Take it to the FZ where they get off on the jollies of it.

The topic is the death of a pet or pets. It is not the same as the death of a child or a spouse or a parent. There are many kinds of love..and loss. So my question is..who here feels great pain or sorrow when their pet dies? And how do you handle it when someone says "it's just a dog/cat/bird/etc....get over it, then go get another one" when you decide to share that loss with people online or in real life?

 

[Mr. H.]

Well, I have this to offer - I absolutely hated my ex-wife's cat. It got really sick, and who got tasked with taking it to the vet to get sent to la-la land? Me. She couldn't even muster that responsibility.

If fucking tore my heart out to have to do that.

Over time, I had 4 (count 'em, four) zebra finches kick the bucket. That was easier to take, but I felt responsible for one reason or another. I'm not allowed to have birds any more, even though I think my stepson was responsible for two of them dying.

When I was a kid, I had one of those tiny turtles in a tank. I left it in the sun and it sort of baked itself dead. That grossed me out more than anything.

 

[S.J.]

No one has said that to me yet. If they did, I would have to reassess my relationship with that person.

 

[TheOldSchool]

I had some gecko's that I gave away years ago, but my dog I've had for 4 years is who I consider the only real pet I've ever had. I can't picture anything happening to her. I have no idea how I'll feel when things start to go south, even though I know that'll happen eventually. But I can't even imagine anything happening to her. It's going to be terrible...

But hopefully that's well over a decade away.

 

[tinydancer]

I take comfort in knowing that when it's my time to cross Rainbow Bridge there's going to be one hell of a large welcoming committee and there will be a big party going on.

 

[Gracie]

Just don't share it here if it ever happens, SJ.

I know of quite a few here who have done that...shared. I will not name them because it isn't my place. But I felt their pain in their words. Some just flat out refuse to realize that for some folks...their pets ARE like family. When they die, it is not a fun experience. There is no "comparing" that death with a human being any more than there is comparing which sibling is most loved by a parent. It's a stupid and idiotic thing to try to do, that comparison. Like trying to dismiss personal and private emotions if they don't mesh with yours.

Personally, I am tired of the coldness of some perceptions and thought others might want to give their two cents.

With that said...how long does it take for that "fucking tore my heart out" to ease? A month? A year? 3 years? Is there a time limit, or are people allowed to grieve for as long as it takes?

I can say I am over my losses, but I think of them every day. How could we not? Investing years into that relationship only to lose it and "get over it"? It's been 46 years since my dad died. I think of him often as well. And I still grieve for him. To put it in perspective....he died when I was 17. One of my pets, I had for 23 years of unconditional love. Why is that so hard to sink in?

 

[Gracie]

I had some gecko's that I gave away years ago, but my dog I've had for 4 years is who I consider the only real pet I've ever had. I can't picture anything happening to her. I have no idea how I'll feel when things start to go south, even though I know that'll happen eventually. But I can't even imagine anything happening to her. It's going to be terrible...

But hopefully that's well over a decade away.

Not sure if you want to hear from me or not, OldSchool..but I will say that i hope, too, that it is many MANY years before your furkid leaves. MANY years.

 

[Care4all]

September 13th at 9pm, will be two years my cat of 16 years passed away....I will forever Miss her, she was the absolute best Kitty in the whole wide world.

We have another cat now, who I absolutely adore, but it just is not the same, not the same as my baby kitty girl....

I don't expect anyone who has never had a close relationship with a pet, to truly understand.... heck, I probably would have never understood it, until I experienced it, myself.

 

[tinydancer]

When a pet dies it's a heartache like no other. Really can't describe the pain of the loss.

I have been blessed in my journey thru life of knowing and loving many a beastie. Fur babies, feathered friends, critters with scales all wonderous. All unique. All part of the family and the departure from this good earth by all of them thru the years leaves an emptiness that is never filled by another. Others give you comfort and you carry on as you should.

But there's never a "replacing" of a beloved pet.

 

[Gracie]

There is another board I used to post at, off and on for the past 15 years. I still don't post there, but I check every week on someone who has a dog that is very dear to her. She almost lost him a few times but he is still hanging in there. She has spared no expense, either. He is now 16 years old....just hit his birthday and doing fine. Issues, but still happy and alive. For 15 years, I have read her posts, chatted with her, watching him grow from a puppy to a senior. And when he does go....lets just say, I worry about her. A lot. She has no one. Just her..and her dog. Her fur child. So every week..I go read, dreading to see a thread saying he is gone. Happy to say...he isn't! Not yet! Hallelujah! But when he does..... I fear for her. THAT is how close they are.

 

[TheOldSchool]

I had some gecko's that I gave away years ago, but my dog I've had for 4 years is who I consider the only real pet I've ever had. I can't picture anything happening to her. I have no idea how I'll feel when things start to go south, even though I know that'll happen eventually. But I can't even imagine anything happening to her. It's going to be terrible...

But hopefully that's well over a decade away.

Not sure if you want to hear from me or not, OldSchool..but I will say that i hope, too, that it is many MANY years before your furkid leaves. MANY years.

This thread actually got me soooo sad. For no reason really I mean she's only 4 1/2 or so but my brain has pretty much assumed she'll be around my whole life. I wonder if it's just better to never have a pet at all! Is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?! I don't know!

 

[TheOldSchool]

I had some gecko's that I gave away years ago, but my dog I've had for 4 years is who I consider the only real pet I've ever had. I can't picture anything happening to her. I have no idea how I'll feel when things start to go south, even though I know that'll happen eventually. But I can't even imagine anything happening to her. It's going to be terrible...

But hopefully that's well over a decade away.

Not sure if you want to hear from me or not, OldSchool..but I will say that i hope, too, that it is many MANY years before your furkid leaves. MANY years.

And thanks Gracie. Of course I want to hear from you. I don't even remember what we argued about!

 

[S.J.]

Not exactly on topic, Gracie, but you might like this story.

Baby Koala Won t Leave Mom s Side During Surgery It Will Give You the Feels People.com Mobile

 

[Gracie]

I had some gecko's that I gave away years ago, but my dog I've had for 4 years is who I consider the only real pet I've ever had. I can't picture anything happening to her. I have no idea how I'll feel when things start to go south, even though I know that'll happen eventually. But I can't even imagine anything happening to her. It's going to be terrible...

But hopefully that's well over a decade away.

Not sure if you want to hear from me or not, OldSchool..but I will say that i hope, too, that it is many MANY years before your furkid leaves. MANY years.

This thread actually got me soooo sad. For no reason really I mean she's only 4 1/2 or so but my brain has pretty much assumed she'll be around my whole life. I wonder if it's just better to never have a pet at all! Is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?! I don't know!

I'm sorry for making you sad. You have 10-12 or more years still with your dog. I have 2 dogs left. One will go in a year or two. Vet said 2 years, tops. I plan to make him a liar about that. The other I have about 6 more years with..hopefully more.

 

[Gracie]

I had some gecko's that I gave away years ago, but my dog I've had for 4 years is who I consider the only real pet I've ever had. I can't picture anything happening to her. I have no idea how I'll feel when things start to go south, even though I know that'll happen eventually. But I can't even imagine anything happening to her. It's going to be terrible...

But hopefully that's well over a decade away.

Not sure if you want to hear from me or not, OldSchool..but I will say that i hope, too, that it is many MANY years before your furkid leaves. MANY years.

And thanks Gracie. Of course I want to hear from you. I don't even remember what we argued about!

I don't remember either, lol. I missed you, though.

 

[Mr. H.]

I really didn't like our now 15 year old dog until we moved to the city in double-ought nine.

In the country, he had free-roam and was a fairly wild Chow-mix-mutt. Now he's a fairly tame Chow-mix-mutt LOL.

I sort of felt sorry for him when we moved because he's on a leash whenever we walk him. He's going deaf and blind at this point. He bit the neighbor last year (I think I posted about that).

Long story longer... part of me can't wait until he dies. It's really expensive buying top-shelf food, arthritis tablets, pill pockets, etc. Same for the cat.

My priority is keeping the daughter in college, not maintaining aging pets. Yeah, it's that tight around here.

Oh- get this. I called the local Dog Club last year when he bit the neighbor. This bitch told me that we should immediately put the dog down, and go out and get another. That was some weird shit.

 

[Gracie]

Not exactly on topic, Gracie, but you might like this story.

Baby Koala Won t Leave Mom s Side During Surgery It Will Give You the Feels People.com Mobile

Awww!!!

 

[TheOldSchool]

I had some gecko's that I gave away years ago, but my dog I've had for 4 years is who I consider the only real pet I've ever had. I can't picture anything happening to her. I have no idea how I'll feel when things start to go south, even though I know that'll happen eventually. But I can't even imagine anything happening to her. It's going to be terrible...

But hopefully that's well over a decade away.

Not sure if you want to hear from me or not, OldSchool..but I will say that i hope, too, that it is many MANY years before your furkid leaves. MANY years.

This thread actually got me soooo sad. For no reason really I mean she's only 4 1/2 or so but my brain has pretty much assumed she'll be around my whole life. I wonder if it's just better to never have a pet at all! Is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?! I don't know!

I'm sorry for making you sad. You have 10-12 or more years still with your dog. I have 2 dogs left. One will go in a year or two. Vet said 2 years, tops. I plan to make him a liar about that. The other I have about 6 more years with..hopefully more.

I wish you as many years as possible! I don't know if you've seen this yet but you should click even if you have. It'll make you chuckle.

My Dog The Paradox - The Oatmeal

 

[Gracie]

I really didn't like our now 15 year old dog until we moved to the city in double-ought nine.

In the country, he had free-roam and was a fairly wild Chow-mix-mutt. Now he's a fairly tame Chow-mix-mutt LOL.

I sort of felt sorry for him when we moved because he's on a leash whenever we walk him. He's going deaf and blind at this point. He bit the neighbor last year (I think I posted about that).

Long story longer... part of me can't wait until he dies. It's really expensive buying top-shelf food, arthritis tablets, pill pockets, etc. Same for the cat.

My priority is keeping the daughter in college, not maintaining aging pets. Yeah, it's that tight around here.

Oh- get this. I called the local Dog Club last year when he bit the neighbor. This bitch told me that we should immediately put the dog down, and go out and get another. That was some weird shit.

When Mr Gracie brought Gracie home...I didn't bond with her. Kind of a long story, but I'll try to make it short.
Gracie was 17 weeks old. I had two roomies (love male partners) and one was dying of Aids. He saw Gracie and fell in love with her as soon as hubby walked in the door with her. Gracie was shy, didn't like being petted on the head. I think whomever had her used to hit her on the head which is why she groveled if someone touched her there. The dying roomie wanted to cuddle her immediately, so I let him do it. And knew she was not meant for me. She was his. So I gave her to him. He named her Gracie. She would hang out with me most of the time cuz he was so sick and bedridden, and I gave her space. I also put walls up around my heart. She was not mine. She just lived in the same house.
He had to eventually go to a medical facility where he could be taken care of better, and he asked if I would take care of Gracie. I said of course I would. And I kept my walls up. For about a year I did. Then one day...that wall broke down. I don't know why. I just let it be free and she and I were mother and daughter. Then at 7 years old, she had a seizure. I freaked. I begged God to give whatever she had to me. I could take it. Make her well. A week later I found the breast cancer lump. Gracie was on drugs to stop the seizures, which worked. Until a year later, when they started up again, non stop. I took her to the vet, not knowing that would be her last trip. It was not epilepsy after all. It was a brain tumor. She was put down right then and there. I think I was in a daze.
Still am.
Point is......I let her in my heart, and I was in hers. And she is gone. I took what I could that was hurting her..but it was not enough. She died anyway. At my hand because I could not handle her suffering.

Her death has affected everyone in this house. Espeically me. Maybe if the yard and her lounge chair and her tennis balls still laying where she last dropped them were gone, I could....stop grieving. But I won't move those balls. I will not sell the lounge chair. She is still here. In my heart. And I would have died in her place if given the choice. It will be two years this August since Gracie went over rainbow bridge.

 

[Mr. H.]

Thanks for sharing that, ma'am.

To me, if it comes down to providing for a pet or providing for family I think you know the road I'll take.