On Marriage

[Annie]

Ok, I'm a confirmed cynic:

You have two choices in life​

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get
married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted". Next day she
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have
mine."

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let
her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

A young son asked, "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens
in every country, son."

Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was
until I got married, and by then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" Second guy remarks, "You're lucky,
mine's still alive."

AND NOW FOR MY FAVORITE!!!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A
blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find
it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the
bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the
husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he
taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of
rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy"
The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR
stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the hell up."

 

[Gabriella84]

Those are totally awesome jokes. Though I sometimes wondered if they were really jokes, since so many of them contained elements of truth.
Thanks for posting them. :rotflmao:

 

[Avatar4321]

Reminds me of a joke:

A man was speeding down the highway. A Police officer saw him and started following him trying to get him to pull over. The man then sped up trying to outrun the officer. The officer eventually got him to pull to the side of the road.

The Police officer walked up to him and said "Alright, you better have a good reason for going so fast"

The guy replied. "Well officer, my wife recently ran off with a police officer. I was afraid you were bringing her back"

Needless to say, the cop let him off.