Not sure what to give your loved ones for Christmas? Just ask the NSA

[Votto]

Husband Reaches Out To NSA To See If They Know What His Wife Wants For Christmas

FAYETTEVILLE, AR — As the December days began to tick away, a local man grew so desperate in his attempt to buy his wife a great Christmas gift that he decided to reach out to the National Security Agency to find out what she wants.

babylonbee.com

Husband Reaches Out To NSA To See If They Know What His Wife Wants For Christmas
FAMILY·Dec 6, 2023 · BabylonBee.com
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FAYETTEVILLE, AR — As the December days began to tick away, a local man grew so desperate in his attempt to buy his wife a great Christmas gift that he decided to reach out to the National Security Agency to find out what she wants.
"I figured it's my best shot," said Willard McBane. "She's always so difficult to buy for, and she doesn't ever give me any hints, so I knew I needed to bring the NSA in on this one."
At first, Willard's attempts to ask for help were subtle. "I just started speaking out loud whenever I was around my phone or near our Amazon Alexa," he said. "I'd just wonder aloud to myself ‘Gee, I wonder what Margaret wants for Christmas this year.' It didn't seem to yield any results, so I decided I needed to contact the NSA directly."

A spokesman for the NSA acknowledged that the agency began receiving phone calls and emails from McBane last week. "Yes, I can confirm that we were contacted by a Mr. Willard McBane," said Agent Dan Henry. "I am not at liberty to divulge the details of our conversations with Mr. McBane at this time, nor am I able to confirm whether or not we advised him that his wife would really love a 64-ounce Stanley Quencher insulated tumbler with a straw, preferably in the Rose Quartz Glow color."

At publishing time, Willard had reportedly received the information he was seeking and had also advised the NSA that he would appreciate it if they would somehow get word to Margaret that he would prefer it if she stopped putting green peppers in her chili.

 

[JGalt]

Cool. I'm going to inform my wife that she can ask the NSA what to give me this Christmas.

I've always wanted one of these anyway...

 

[flacaltenn]

Husband Reaches Out To NSA To See If They Know What His Wife Wants For Christmas

FAYETTEVILLE, AR — As the December days began to tick away, a local man grew so desperate in his attempt to buy his wife a great Christmas gift that he decided to reach out to the National Security Agency to find out what she wants.

babylonbee.com

Husband Reaches Out To NSA To See If They Know What His Wife Wants For Christmas
FAMILY·Dec 6, 2023 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.

FAYETTEVILLE, AR — As the December days began to tick away, a local man grew so desperate in his attempt to buy his wife a great Christmas gift that he decided to reach out to the National Security Agency to find out what she wants.
"I figured it's my best shot," said Willard McBane. "She's always so difficult to buy for, and she doesn't ever give me any hints, so I knew I needed to bring the NSA in on this one."
At first, Willard's attempts to ask for help were subtle. "I just started speaking out loud whenever I was around my phone or near our Amazon Alexa," he said. "I'd just wonder aloud to myself ‘Gee, I wonder what Margaret wants for Christmas this year.' It didn't seem to yield any results, so I decided I needed to contact the NSA directly."

A spokesman for the NSA acknowledged that the agency began receiving phone calls and emails from McBane last week. "Yes, I can confirm that we were contacted by a Mr. Willard McBane," said Agent Dan Henry. "I am not at liberty to divulge the details of our conversations with Mr. McBane at this time, nor am I able to confirm whether or not we advised him that his wife would really love a 64-ounce Stanley Quencher insulated tumbler with a straw, preferably in the Rose Quartz Glow color."

At publishing time, Willard had reportedly received the information he was seeking and had also advised the NSA that he would appreciate it if they would somehow get word to Margaret that he would prefer it if she stopped putting green peppers in her chili.

Those Bees are genius... That's hysterical

 

[Lord-Humungus]

 

[mudwhistle]

Cool. I'm going to inform my wife that she can ask the NSA what to give me this Christmas.

I've always wanted one of these anyway...

View attachment 869799

My wife is completely off the grid.

 

[flacaltenn]

My wife is completely off the grid.

Satellite surveillance is in their toolbox. Look for openings in the woods where she might have left some clues like worn out shoes or empty boxes of bon-bons. LOL. They also know where she shops and probably a lot of what she buys.

 

[mudwhistle]

Satellite surveillance is in their toolbox. Look for openings in the woods where she might have left some clues like worn out shoes or empty boxes of bon-bons. LOL. They also know where she shops and probably a lot of what she buys.

She doesn't shop anymore. I do all of the shopping.
She's never been online either.
She used to use a phone....but only for business or talking to me.
Everyone I know (only online) wonders if she ever existed, because she doesn't have any social media account.
I use her phone number so that if any of her nieces and nephews call I can tell them how she's doing.