Went to the doctor for my annual physical. The nurse starts with certain basics. 'How much do you weigh?' she asks. '135,' I say. The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 170. The nurse asks, 'Your height?' '5 foot 7,' I say. The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5'3'. She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high. 'Of course it's high!' I scream, 'When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!' She put me on Prozac. What a bitch.