Just what are these sexual harassers doing?

[usmbguest5318]

Given the abundance of sexual harassment news of late, I've found myself wondering just what the hell are these alleged harassers doing. In some instances, we are told the details of what they did. For example, one of the men is alleged to have, while clothed, pressed an erection against the woman who's accused him of making an unwanted advance. That, IMO, clearly crosses the line, at least if it happened in a deliberate manner. In other instances, however, we don't have such details.

That said, what possesses someone, anyone, to construe as a fitting first step doing more than asking someone out, or, as might happen in a social setting such as a bar or party where the object of one's desire is reasonably seen as willfully seeking attention, as it were, inviting them to a more discrete setting, or accepting their similar invitation.

Just what are these people doing and what exactly allows those things to go on?

• Are the harassers so bold as to be clear that they will withhold opportunities, or worse, if the other party doesn't oblige them?
• By the same token, are the objects of the harassers' advances so bereft of self-respect, confidence in their own abilities, perhaps instead or also greedy, that they will acquiesce to allowing themselves to be compromised as we've heard described and then say nothing about it to the proper authorities?
• Do the harassers not realize that at some point it will get around in their industry that they are harassers and consequently the best people -- high performing individuals of good ethical character -- will vie for roles offered by people who do not engage in exploitative tactics and/or they will not consent to work with exploitative individuals? And let's be honest; nobody wants to associate with low performing individuals of poor character.

At the end of the day, I find myself wondering what turpitudinous foundations allow people to consider sexual harassment okay or to deem themselves entitled to exploit their positions of power in that way? Nothing in my or my friends' formative years led us to think/feel that we can do such things. I'm fairly confident that in much of corporate America, that sort of behavior isn't tolerated. Perhaps, however, it's more prevalent in organizations that function more like personal fiefdoms than as corporate entities, notwithstanding their having a corporate, thus ostensibly respectable, veneer. The appearance of propriety is neither more important nor more desirable than is the actual existence of propriety.

 

[aaronleland]

I know Weinstein jerked off into a potted plant in front of a woman. Which is actually pretty awesome on his part.

 

[JoeMoma]

I know Weinstein jerked off into a potted plant in front of a woman. Which is actually pretty awesome on his part.

Couldn't he find any miracle grow to put in that plotted plant?

 

[aaronleland]

I know Weinstein jerked off into a potted plant in front of a woman. Which is actually pretty awesome on his part.

Couldn't he find any miracle grow to put in that plotted plant?

She was being a prude so he was like, "Fuck you. I'll drop my cum over here."

 

[sealybobo]

I know Weinstein jerked off into a potted plant in front of a woman. Which is actually pretty awesome on his part.

Couldn't he find any miracle grow to put in that plotted plant?

He learned from president Clinton don't put it on her blouse.

 

[Bonzi]

Just behaving like men.
Then, women who want to be "empowered" cry because they are too weak to tell a guy to get lost when they start doing stuff like that... it's ridiculous

 

[sealybobo]

I know Weinstein jerked off into a potted plant in front of a woman. Which is actually pretty awesome on his part.

Couldn't he find any miracle grow to put in that plotted plant?

She was being a prude so he was like, "Fuck you. I'll drop my cum over here."

It's already embarrassing after you get shot down screw it

 

[sealybobo]

I know Weinstein jerked off into a potted plant in front of a woman. Which is actually pretty awesome on his part.

Couldn't he find any miracle grow to put in that plotted plant?

She was being a prude so he was like, "Fuck you. I'll drop my cum over here."

Ever see how I met your mother? The naked man works 2 out of 3 times. That's where you just walk out of your room naked. Isn't that what Harvey did basically?

 

[longknife]

I wonder just what "sexual harassment" truly is. Seems the term has been politically corrected to mean just about anything the media wants it to be.

A fun slap on the tush of 60 years ago is not a horrid assault upon a female's derriere.

 

[sealybobo]

I wonder just what "sexual harassment" truly is. Seems the term has been politically corrected to mean just about anything the media wants it to be.

A fun slap on the tush of 60 years ago is not a horrid assault upon a female's derriere.

It's certainly inappropriate in the workplace especially by a superior

 

[Esmeralda]

Just behaving like men.
Then, women who want to be "empowered" cry because they are too weak to tell a guy to get lost when they start doing stuff like that... it's ridiculous

Just behaving like men, are you serious? Is this what the men in your world behave like? Disgusting.

Men (or women) who sexually harrass others are being anti-social and lacking in self control.

"Antisocial personality disorder is defined by a pervasive and persistent disregard for morals, social norms, and the rights and feelings of others. ... Those with antisocial personality disorder are often impulsive and reckless, failing to consider or disregarding the consequences of their actions"

Men who sexually harrass are not 'just being men.' And it is usually coming from a need to express their power or superiority over women, probably because they feel inferior or have some kind of inferiority complex--the same reasons bullies bully--because they actually have an inferiority complex.

 

[Bonzi]

Just behaving like men.
Then, women who want to be "empowered" cry because they are too weak to tell a guy to get lost when they start doing stuff like that... it's ridiculous

Just behaving like men, are you serious? Is this what the men in your world behave like? Disgusting.

Men (or women) who sexually harrass others are being anti-social and lacking in self control.

"Antisocial personality disorder is defined by a pervasive and persistent disregard for morals, social norms, and the rights and feelings of others. ... Those with antisocial personality disorder are often impulsive and reckless, failing to consider or disregarding the consequences of their actions"

Men who sexually harrass are not 'just being men.' And it is usually coming from a need to express their power or superiority over women, probably because they feel inferior or have some kind of inferiority complex--the same reasons bullies bully--because they actually have an inferiority complex.

Well if women are so strong, unless they have a gun to their head, tell those people to get lost. It's not hard. I have done it all my life and have never been molested or harassed. Men have TRIED, and I only ALMOST got fired once for it....

 

[Esmeralda]

Just behaving like men.
Then, women who want to be "empowered" cry because they are too weak to tell a guy to get lost when they start doing stuff like that... it's ridiculous

Just behaving like men, are you serious? Is this what the men in your world behave like? Disgusting.

Men (or women) who sexually harrass others are being anti-social and lacking in self control.

"Antisocial personality disorder is defined by a pervasive and persistent disregard for morals, social norms, and the rights and feelings of others. ... Those with antisocial personality disorder are often impulsive and reckless, failing to consider or disregarding the consequences of their actions"

Men who sexually harrass are not 'just being men.' And it is usually coming from a need to express their power or superiority over women, probably because they feel inferior or have some kind of inferiority complex--the same reasons bullies bully--because they actually have an inferiority complex.

Well if women are so strong, unless they have a gun to their head, tell those people to get lost. It's not hard. I have done it all my life and have never been molested or harassed. Men have TRIED, and I only ALMOST got fired once for it....

It is hard if it means losing your job, destroying your career, etc. Men put up with a lot too to protect their job and career. People do it. Can't understand how a woman cannot understand this situation.

 

[DigitalDrifter]

I know Weinstein jerked off into a potted plant in front of a woman. Which is actually pretty awesome on his part.

Better than Miracle Grow.

 

[Bonzi]

Just behaving like men.
Then, women who want to be "empowered" cry because they are too weak to tell a guy to get lost when they start doing stuff like that... it's ridiculous

Just behaving like men, are you serious? Is this what the men in your world behave like? Disgusting.

Men (or women) who sexually harrass others are being anti-social and lacking in self control.

"Antisocial personality disorder is defined by a pervasive and persistent disregard for morals, social norms, and the rights and feelings of others. ... Those with antisocial personality disorder are often impulsive and reckless, failing to consider or disregarding the consequences of their actions"

Men who sexually harrass are not 'just being men.' And it is usually coming from a need to express their power or superiority over women, probably because they feel inferior or have some kind of inferiority complex--the same reasons bullies bully--because they actually have an inferiority complex.

Well if women are so strong, unless they have a gun to their head, tell those people to get lost. It's not hard. I have done it all my life and have never been molested or harassed. Men have TRIED, and I only ALMOST got fired once for it....

It is hard if it means losing your job, destroying your career, etc. Men put up with a lot too to protect their job and career. People do it. Can't understand how a woman cannot understand this situation.

Because I'm a strong woman that knows you can stave off men and keep your career in tact. Plus, no ONE man can ruin your career. If you think so, you may as well go back to being a housewife in the 50's.

 

[ChrisL]

^^^^ Sorry, but just had to ROFL at THAT one!

 

[Kosh]

I know Weinstein jerked off into a potted plant in front of a woman. Which is actually pretty awesome on his part.

Couldn't he find any miracle grow to put in that plotted plant?

It was a rubber plant!

 

[Esmeralda]

Just behaving like men.
Then, women who want to be "empowered" cry because they are too weak to tell a guy to get lost when they start doing stuff like that... it's ridiculous

Just behaving like men, are you serious? Is this what the men in your world behave like? Disgusting.

Men (or women) who sexually harrass others are being anti-social and lacking in self control.

"Antisocial personality disorder is defined by a pervasive and persistent disregard for morals, social norms, and the rights and feelings of others. ... Those with antisocial personality disorder are often impulsive and reckless, failing to consider or disregarding the consequences of their actions"

Men who sexually harrass are not 'just being men.' And it is usually coming from a need to express their power or superiority over women, probably because they feel inferior or have some kind of inferiority complex--the same reasons bullies bully--because they actually have an inferiority complex.

Well if women are so strong, unless they have a gun to their head, tell those people to get lost. It's not hard. I have done it all my life and have never been molested or harassed. Men have TRIED, and I only ALMOST got fired once for it....

It is hard if it means losing your job, destroying your career, etc. Men put up with a lot too to protect their job and career. People do it. Can't understand how a woman cannot understand this situation.

Because I'm a strong woman that knows you can stave off men and keep your career in tact. Plus, no ONE man can ruin your career. If you think so, you may as well go back to being a housewife in the 50's.

I think in the environment of Hollywood, one man can cause a woman to ruin her career. At the very least it can cause someone to lose a very much needed job. I don't get your attitude. Are you unable to emphathize? It's never even happened to me and I understand. But then I have a career, so I can understand how it can be undermined by one person in a position of power. And I have always needed to support myself, so I can understand how devastating it can be to lose your job.

 

[EverCurious]

Hmmm interesting topic of discussion. I would say it's a combination of all your suggestions, plus more. I think perhaps the only common thread between all of the (rightly and wrongly) accused might be ego and over-confidence. Though I question that it's "coming out now" as some kind of revelation of sexual impropriety; after all how many husbands are caught fucking their secretaries? I believe such an idea is so common place that it's quasi-accepted, not so much that the wifes/girlfriends accept it, but society as a whole "recognizes" that it is very common. I think this too is very common, but just never gained traction until the influx of the "modern woman" revolution theme brought in by third wave feminism (to which I'd argue they attack this common acceptance as a matter of course.) It has to be said that to be successful one needs confidence, and most women are almost biologically attracted to confidence; those who have not swallowed the third wave "independence and strength arguments" anyway. So honestly, I would say it's /bound/ to happen often - not specifically that these men are sexual deviants, but rather that women have been attracted to them so often their egos begin to believe that every woman would appreciate sleeping with them. So I would argue it is not so much that the men think they are doing wrong and sexually assaulting girls "because they can get away with it," so much as they don't believe any woman would be offended by their advances.

To example, myself, as a narc, in my single days considered that anyone would be in a way flattered were I to make a move on them - and to be fair, being a woman that was generally true and most were very receptive to my advances, similar to these powerful/rich men.

While I generally strayed away from playing my games in corporate fields because I'm rather dedicated to my "work", I did indeed "sexually assault" (by modern definitions) some of my bosses - much to their delight, and I will also admit that I was rewarded once or twice career wise; though that was never actually my goal. Still I cannot say that such quid pro quo isn't the goal of these other folks or anything, I think it is perhaps "too common" in abuse of power type situations to discount that being the case; even if I've never had any boss hit on me unless I initiated, which was rare as it was a very rare type of man that could take me out of "business mode" and put me on those particular paths - perhaps there too my success rate was buffered in that I have a thing for authoritative dominant men who many women may find 'offensive,' even back in my day, and more so today (aka assholes)... That brings up a couple points though...

First, perhaps I am counter to your latter assertion regarding propriety. Your opinion of what's "proper" is not necessarily the same for others. While I do consider such things improper for a corporate environment, there are many, many cases where the "look good" rules of behavior are broken in the business world - it's all about knowing who you can trust. (Trust is an oft overlooked business trait...) My above is an example to another point as well; were it the other way around he'd likely be fired had he been caught, but as I made the move he'd be "forgiven" if we'd been caught. A related(ish) example would be, many corporate bosses censor their swear words in front of the secretary, and more so in front of the public eye, but such things fall away "with the other guys" because the hard truth is that if you're sharking a high profit language is so far down the list of shit that matters that it's not even really on the list.

Second, I think time needs to be recognized in the context of such a discussion. As another poster pointed out, things have changed (third wave feminism and the "coddled" culture) In my day, "David Cop-A-Feel" was a very common and hilarious joke in many circles, as were many, many other things that would be considered "rape," "sexual assault," or "sexual harassment" these days. There is a question of "intent" in my mind when one defines these things; while it's easy to say "/any/ unwanted touching" is "assault" I personally do not believe that is the case. Sexual assault for example is a violence, it is "assault" not a joking pat on the ass in front of ones wife that is never intended to go anywhere. (Yes, I do understand that some chicks find it offensive and crass, however, I hesitate to label it "assault" because there is no "violence" in it. ) It's like when our roommate inserts sexual innuendo, George Takie's "Ohhhh myyy," for example, is one of his favorites; it is merely a joke about a common human experience (sex) there is not an implication that he wants to have sex with my husband or I. Similarly if I tell my friend to blow me, I'm clearly not asking them to perform oral sex (I'm a woman for one) however there is a sexual implication involved in such a statement. Or when you make the jack off motion when someone's yapping at you on the phone.

Sex being a common human experience, I think jokes and many of the faux "sexual motions" that go with them cannot be stuffed under an automatic label of "sexual assault" or "sexual harassment" - to example President Trump saying "they'll let you grab em by the pussy" is not an indication that he's sexually assaulted anyone, it's not an indication that he would do so, it's merely an expression, a turn of phrase, that most men, and especially confident/powerful/rich/famous/sexy men all well understand. To a third wave feminist, to someone who's never experienced women fawning at their feet, it is a foreign idea that seems "off" or "wrong" because /they/ could never get away with such a thing. However, the fact he is 100% correct, there are many many women who would love to have a rich famous guy grab em by the pussy, and probably a number who would "let" them do it - as we see with all these Hollywood folks. And in fact, I think were you to flip the sexes in these present (right and wrong) cases, you'll find a lot more "acceptance" of what is supposedly sexual assault, harassment, etc. Here again modern feminism exploits the innate natural biological tendency for women to be protected from harm to push an idea; using that "weakness" is technically counter to their entire argument, but they'll use any tool in the shed to fund their agenda.

 

[EverCurious]

hmmm... just to round out my final argument/paragraph there for those who didn't get the connection.

As a woman I can indeed walk up to just about any man and grab them by the balls in a sexually wanton matter and get away with it. Let's say however that my "victim" is not appreciative of my forwardness and is offended. Society in general would kind of shrug about it - "what's his problem" or "just say no and move on" - the court would maybe fine me, though there'd be a shit ton of snickering from the lawyers and judges no doubt.

The only difference is that there isn't some third wave masculinity agenda to forward the idea that "any" hint of sexual touching is bad. And in fact such a movement couldn't ever really exist, because as far as society is concerned men do not need to be protected from "big bad she-wolves" like me.