I'm Getting Old

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Jimmyeatworld, Mar 31, 2006.

  1. Jimmyeatworld
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    Jimmyeatworld Silver Member

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    A little something for my fellow thirtysomethings, but I think everyone will see the humor.

    1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

    2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

    3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

    4. 6:00 am. Is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

    5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

    6. You watch the Weather Channel.

    7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."

    8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

    9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

    10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

    11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

    12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

    13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

    14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.

    15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

    16. You take naps.

    17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

    18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

    19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

    20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."

    21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

    22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm
    never going to drink that much again."

    23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

    24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

    25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit what the hell happened?"

    Bonus:
    26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you, at least a little, and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.
     
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  2. GotZoom
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    GotZoom Senior Member

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    I'll add one.

    27. Going to a Nine Inch Nails concert and having a really hot, young goth chick approach you smiling, only to hear her
    say, "Excuse me Sir" as she walks past you to get to the aisle.
     
  3. Jimmyeatworld
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    Jimmyeatworld Silver Member

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    Ouch.

    Yep, I had essentially the same thing happen to me. Young, pretty girl approaches, I'm thinking, "Hey now. I wonder where this is going." She says, "Excuse me, sir..." and I don't remember what she said after that. I was too busy grasping the realization that she saw me from a distance and probably thought, "I'll ask that old guy over there."
     
  4. Mr. P
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    Mr. P Senior Member

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    I'll add another one.


    This one drives "getting old" home! IMO

    28. Realizing that you now look back on your life, instead of looking ahead.
     
  5. GotZoom
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    GotZoom Senior Member

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    I read this somewhere:

    You know you are getting older when you look forward to taking naps.
     
  6. deaddude
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    deaddude Senior Member

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    30. If you look up at the sky on your birthday, and notice it looks grey. To many this would be an ill omen, to you it is a reminder that your hair is in your eyes.

    31. Your are so senile that you need somthing to remid you that your hair is in your eyes
     
  7. archangel
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    archangel Guest

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    I'm about to hit the big 62 and the hair is still black...well a tiny bit of gray around the temples to be honest...it's in the genetics dude...Italian,hispanic and all the rest...plus good honest living helps too! :rock: Actually the hair stayed black on the head...but damn what the hell is up with the mustache and beard...oh well "Just for Men" works well!...LOL :cool:
     
  8. Yurt
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    Yurt Gold Member

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    Just wanted you to know that I am 32 and recognized nothing on this list







































    yeah right, over 3/4
    :wtf:
     
  9. Shattered
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    I'm still holding strong at a good solid 29. Don't recognize a thing. :D:D
     

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