If you fall into a gorilla enclosure, what do you do?

[shockedcanadian]

Let's assume you've done something stupid and fallen into a gorilla enclosure, what's you play outside of praying? Do you play dead, curl into a ball?

Also; just for kicks and giggles, if you became cornered and it's a clear fight or flight situation with no chance of fleeing, how long do you last, and/or can you pull off a quick 1-2 and escape?

I'm particular interested in the first situation. My gut tells me a full grown gorilla is going to look at you as a threat and a foreign object. If there's a baby gorilla in the vicinity, clearly your odds of survival go down dramatically. However, I haven't been able to find a good source of how to react. We all know that you play dead in the presence of a grizzly (or at least I think you do), but a gorilla is a different beast.

Don't ask how the subject came up, lol/

 

[jon_berzerk]

another good reason for concealed carry

--LOL

 

[skye]

I know what I wouldn't do,

I would not kill the gorilla.

May be put him to sleep for a few minutes

Not kill him.

 

[Fueri]

Unless you have Jane Goodall on speed dial I imagine it's all up to the gorilla at that point....

 

[anotherlife]

Well, you can say to the gorilla, "what's up Horombe?". Is it Horombe day today? There was a mother whose child decided to jump into the gorilla cage, and the police or something was called and they shot the gorilla. My recommendation is different. What you should do once inside the cage with the gorilla, you should turn around and face the crowd of people and tell them that this is what happens when they suppress abortion rights.

 

[TheOldSchool]

Pick a fight with the alpha and become the new leader

 

[Pogo]

I know what I wouldn't do,

I would not kill the gorilla.

May be put him to sleep for a few minutes

Not kill him.

^^ Best answer.

Why murder another being because YOU did something stoopid?


I dunno how in the wide world of phuck you "fall into a gorilla cage" but if you do you deserve whatever comes next.

 

[Pogo]

​

 

[Tank]

Don't start playing any rap, play some classical

 

[blastoff]

I would quickly morph into my best gorilla impersonation.

 

[yiostheoy]

Let's assume you've done something stupid and fallen into a gorilla enclosure, what's you play outside of praying? Do you play dead, curl into a ball?

Also; just for kicks and giggles, if you became cornered and it's a clear fight or flight situation with no chance of fleeing, how long do you last, and/or can you pull off a quick 1-2 and escape?

I'm particular interested in the first situation. My gut tells me a full grown gorilla is going to look at you as a threat and a foreign object. If there's a baby gorilla in the vicinity, clearly your odds of survival go down dramatically. However, I haven't been able to find a good source of how to react. We all know that you play dead in the presence of a grizzly (or at least I think you do), but a gorilla is a different beast.

Don't ask how the subject came up, lol/

There is no difference between a gorilla enclosure and inner city ghettos.

I normally carry 20 45ACP cartridges on my person.

This is enough for 20 gorillas -- whether they are walking through my neighborhood or I got lost and ended up stupidly in theirs.

 

[yiostheoy]

I would quickly morph into my best gorilla impersonation.

Then they would beat the crap out of you for territorial reasons -- plus you are too lily white.

 

[yiostheoy]

Don't start playing any rap, play some classical

That depends on the gorilla. I suspect they would prefer rap and start dancing immediately.

 

[yiostheoy]

Well, you can say to the gorilla, "what's up Horombe?". Is it Horombe day today? There was a mother whose child decided to jump into the gorilla cage, and the police or something was called and they shot the gorilla. My recommendation is different. What you should do once inside the cage with the gorilla, you should turn around and face the crowd of people and tell them that this is what happens when they suppress abortion rights.

That gorilla was dragging the kid around like a captured monkey that he was getting ready to eat.

That's why there was no choice other than to shoot the poor captive gorilla.

We value human life over animal life.

I am not sure the choice is valid, but this is what we do.

 

[yiostheoy]

Unless you have Jane Goodall on speed dial I imagine it's all up to the gorilla at that point....

Yes when you finally run out of ammo.

Shoot for the eyeballs -- that's the easiest way into the brain.

 

[yiostheoy]

I know what I wouldn't do,

I would not kill the gorilla.

May be put him to sleep for a few minutes

Not kill him.

And how are you going to do that -- by fokking him ?!

 

[OldLady]

I know what I wouldn't do,

I would not kill the gorilla.

May be put him to sleep for a few minutes

Not kill him.

^^ Best answer.

Why murder another being because YOU did something stoopid?


I dunno how in the wide world of phuck you "fall into a gorilla cage" but if you do you deserve whatever comes next.

Have you ever watched a wild animal being hit with a tranquilizer gun? It's not instant nap time. They kick, run, fight the attack. Horombe was holding the child. A dart would have antagonized him and he could have (intentionally or not) killed the kid while reacting to the dart.

I wonder what brought this up?

 

[yiostheoy]

The world is a dangerous place and personal stupidity makes it even more dangerous.

You should never go anywhere without a knife, and if you can get a permit to carry a handgun then you should always have your permit and your loaded/chambered handgun and extra ammo on your person in a holster of some kind.

This will help you if you fall into danger from Negroes, Mexicans, white trash psycho's, gorillas, dogs, or mountain lions.

 

[anotherlife]

Well, you can say to the gorilla, "what's up Horombe?". Is it Horombe day today? There was a mother whose child decided to jump into the gorilla cage, and the police or something was called and they shot the gorilla. My recommendation is different. What you should do once inside the cage with the gorilla, you should turn around and face the crowd of people and tell them that this is what happens when they suppress abortion rights.

That gorilla was dragging the kid around like a captured monkey that he was getting ready to eat.

That's why there was no choice other than to shoot the poor captive gorilla.

We value human life over animal life.

I am not sure the choice is valid, but this is what we do.

So who gets the Darwin Award? The kid, the gorilla, or the kid's mother? I think the award should have gone to the kid, not the gorilla. That way, the mother can get hers too.

 

[there4eyeM]

Probably just sit down and relax. Not posing a threat, and not being something it would be interested in eating, it most likely would not do anything more than manifest some curiosity.

Oh, to address the fighting part; that is not an option. The only conceivable move for self preservation in case of an ultimate confrontation would be to put out its eyes.