Hunter Avoids Jail Time After Pleading Biden

[Weatherman2020]

WILMINGTON, DE — Hunter Biden, son of President Joe Biden, has successfully negotiated an agreement with federal prosecutors to avoid jail time for charges of tax and firearm crimes by pleading "Biden."

"It's an airtight legal defense," said CNN legal analyst Laura Coates. "Our sources have reported Hunter's attorneys met with prosecutors and simply said ‘Our client's last name is Biden,' at which point prosecutors agreed to forego any jail time for the charges. Prosecutors knew they could do nothing against the ‘I'm a Biden' defense tactic. It works every time."

Hunter's legal team defended the deal against claims of preferential treatment. "Allegations of double standards are ridiculous," said one of Hunter's attorneys. "Every Biden is treated exactly the same way."

Criticism of the deal came in quickly from right-wing Nazi MAGA Republicans. "So he doesn't pay his taxes, breaks federal gun laws, and rapes underage prostitutes, but he gets no jail time?" said local unimportant middle-class guy David Megli. "I guess it pays off to be the son of a corrupt President after all."

As part of the plea deal, Hunter's most severe penalty will be having his hair playfully tousled by the judge while being called "a naughty little rascal." Hunter will then return home to celebrate the plea deal by snorting cocaine off a hooker's buttocks.

At publishing time, former President Donald Trump had filed paperwork to legally change his last name to Biden in an effort to have all federal indictments against him dropped.

Hunter Avoids Jail Time After Pleading Biden

WILMINGTON, DE — Hunter Biden, son of President Joe Biden, has successfully negotiated an agreement with federal prosecutors to avoid jail time for charges of tax and firearm crimes by pleading "Biden."

babylonbee.com

 

[yidnar]

WILMINGTON, DE — Hunter Biden, son of President Joe Biden, has successfully negotiated an agreement with federal prosecutors to avoid jail time for charges of tax and firearm crimes by pleading "Biden."

"It's an airtight legal defense," said CNN legal analyst Laura Coates. "Our sources have reported Hunter's attorneys met with prosecutors and simply said ‘Our client's last name is Biden,' at which point prosecutors agreed to forego any jail time for the charges. Prosecutors knew they could do nothing against the ‘I'm a Biden' defense tactic. It works every time."

Hunter's legal team defended the deal against claims of preferential treatment. "Allegations of double standards are ridiculous," said one of Hunter's attorneys. "Every Biden is treated exactly the same way."

Criticism of the deal came in quickly from right-wing Nazi MAGA Republicans. "So he doesn't pay his taxes, breaks federal gun laws, and rapes underage prostitutes, but he gets no jail time?" said local unimportant middle-class guy David Megli. "I guess it pays off to be the son of a corrupt President after all."

As part of the plea deal, Hunter's most severe penalty will be having his hair playfully tousled by the judge while being called "a naughty little rascal." Hunter will then return home to celebrate the plea deal by snorting cocaine off a hooker's buttocks.

At publishing time, former President Donald Trump had filed paperwork to legally change his last name to Biden in an effort to have all federal indictments against him dropped.

Hunter Avoids Jail Time After Pleading Biden

WILMINGTON, DE — Hunter Biden, son of President Joe Biden, has successfully negotiated an agreement with federal prosecutors to avoid jail time for charges of tax and firearm crimes by pleading "Biden."

babylonbee.com

satirical but true !

 

[Mashmont]

WILMINGTON, DE — Hunter Biden, son of President Joe Biden, has successfully negotiated an agreement with federal prosecutors to avoid jail time for charges of tax and firearm crimes by pleading "Biden."

"It's an airtight legal defense," said CNN legal analyst Laura Coates. "Our sources have reported Hunter's attorneys met with prosecutors and simply said ‘Our client's last name is Biden,' at which point prosecutors agreed to forego any jail time for the charges. Prosecutors knew they could do nothing against the ‘I'm a Biden' defense tactic. It works every time."

Hunter's legal team defended the deal against claims of preferential treatment. "Allegations of double standards are ridiculous," said one of Hunter's attorneys. "Every Biden is treated exactly the same way."

Criticism of the deal came in quickly from right-wing Nazi MAGA Republicans. "So he doesn't pay his taxes, breaks federal gun laws, and rapes underage prostitutes, but he gets no jail time?" said local unimportant middle-class guy David Megli. "I guess it pays off to be the son of a corrupt President after all."

As part of the plea deal, Hunter's most severe penalty will be having his hair playfully tousled by the judge while being called "a naughty little rascal." Hunter will then return home to celebrate the plea deal by snorting cocaine off a hooker's buttocks.

At publishing time, former President Donald Trump had filed paperwork to legally change his last name to Biden in an effort to have all federal indictments against him dropped.

Hunter Avoids Jail Time After Pleading Biden

WILMINGTON, DE — Hunter Biden, son of President Joe Biden, has successfully negotiated an agreement with federal prosecutors to avoid jail time for charges of tax and firearm crimes by pleading "Biden."

babylonbee.com

Two sets of laws. How many times have we seen it?

 

[multivita-man]

He hasn't avoided jail yet. The judge needs to agree to the plea deal - judges can always reject it. That's the risk one takes when pleading guilty. Once you plead, it's in the judge's hands.

Since it's a federal case, the judge will likely go to the uniform sentencing guidelines. Will take mitigating and aggravating factors into account. Mitigating factor is that he appears to have cooperated with the investigation. Aggravating factor is past history of drug/alcohol abuse in the not-too-distant past, and that pattern of abuse is actually material to one of the charges.

It's also somewhat unusual to have a matter settled right as the charges come out, so I'm not sure that Hunter necessarily avoids jail completely. There's a real possibility the judge imposes at least a light jail term with an early release.

 

[Weatherman2020]

He hasn't avoided jail yet. The judge needs to agree to the plea deal - judges can always reject it. That's the risk one takes when pleading guilty. Once you plead, it's in the judge's hands.

Since it's a federal case, the judge will likely go to the uniform sentencing guidelines. Will take mitigating and aggravating factors into account. Mitigating factor is that he appears to have cooperated with the investigation. Aggravating factor is past history of drug/alcohol abuse in the not-too-distant past, and that pattern of abuse is actually material to one of the charges.

It's also somewhat unusual to have a matter settled right as the charges come out, so I'm not sure that Hunter necessarily avoids jail completely. There's a real possibility the judge imposes at least a light jail term with an early release.

Deep State says it’s done and old news never to be discussed.

 

[excalibur]

Lisa Monaco is the Deputy Attorney General.

 

[multivita-man]

Deep State says it’s done and old news never to be discussed.

Hey dumbass, read my post again. The judge decides. It's an entirely different branch of government. Take a civics class sometime.

 

[Weatherman2020]

Hey dumbass, read my post again. The judge decides. It's an entirely different branch of government. Take a civics class sometime.

Care to wager on what the Deep State judge says?

 

[multivita-man]

Care to wager on what the Deep State judge says?

I don't read minds and neither do you. If your point is that rich and connected people tend to get off with lighter sentences, I'm not going to disagree with you.

I could see this going either way. I could see the judge signing off on the plea just to be done with it, but I could also see a judge looking at the proposed penalty, looking at the current optics, and saying "Nah, I think we can be a little tougher on Hunter than this."

I do not expect a sentence like what you and I would get - I think everyone can agree on that. But I wouldn't be surprised if the judge sentences Hunter to 1-3 months in a country club prison under extremely tight protective custody.

 

[Markle]

WILMINGTON, DE — Hunter Biden, son of President Joe Biden, has successfully negotiated an agreement with federal prosecutors to avoid jail time for charges of tax and firearm crimes by pleading "Biden."

"It's an airtight legal defense," said CNN legal analyst Laura Coates. "Our sources have reported Hunter's attorneys met with prosecutors and simply said ‘Our client's last name is Biden,' at which point prosecutors agreed to forego any jail time for the charges. Prosecutors knew they could do nothing against the ‘I'm a Biden' defense tactic. It works every time."

Hunter's legal team defended the deal against claims of preferential treatment. "Allegations of double standards are ridiculous," said one of Hunter's attorneys. "Every Biden is treated exactly the same way."

Criticism of the deal came in quickly from right-wing Nazi MAGA Republicans. "So he doesn't pay his taxes, breaks federal gun laws, and rapes underage prostitutes, but he gets no jail time?" said local unimportant middle-class guy David Megli. "I guess it pays off to be the son of a corrupt President after all."

As part of the plea deal, Hunter's most severe penalty will be having his hair playfully tousled by the judge while being called "a naughty little rascal." Hunter will then return home to celebrate the plea deal by snorting cocaine off a hooker's buttocks.

At publishing time, former President Donald Trump had filed paperwork to legally change his last name to Biden in an effort to have all federal indictments against him dropped.

Hunter Avoids Jail Time After Pleading Biden

WILMINGTON, DE — Hunter Biden, son of President Joe Biden, has successfully negotiated an agreement with federal prosecutors to avoid jail time for charges of tax and firearm crimes by pleading "Biden."

babylonbee.com

LOVE IT! Thanks!

 

[Weatherman2020]

I don't read minds and neither do you. If your point is that rich and connected people tend to get off with lighter sentences, I'm not going to disagree with you.

I could see this going either way. I could see the judge signing off on the plea just to be done with it, but I could also see a judge looking at the proposed penalty, looking at the current optics, and saying "Nah, I think we can be a little tougher on Hunter than this."

I do not expect a sentence like what you and I would get - I think everyone can agree on that. But I wouldn't be surprised if the judge sentences Hunter to 1-3 months in a country club prison under extremely tight protective custody.

Only blacks are sent to prison under Democrat ‘justice’. Ask Wesley Snipes.

 

[tahuyaman]

He hasn't avoided jail yet. The judge needs to agree to the plea deal - judges can always reject it. That's the risk one takes when pleading guilty. Once you plead, it's in the judge's hands.

Since it's a federal case, the judge will likely go to the uniform sentencing guidelines. Will take mitigating and aggravating factors into account. Mitigating factor is that he appears to have cooperated with the investigation. Aggravating factor is past history of drug/alcohol abuse in the not-too-distant past, and that pattern of abuse is actually material to one of the charges.

It's also somewhat unusual to have a matter settled right as the charges come out, so I'm not sure that Hunter necessarily avoids jail completely. There's a real possibility the judge imposes at least a light jail term with an early release.

The plea agreement would not have offered and accepted if there was a possibility of jail time. The judge is all in on this. He or she was probably consulted.

 

[Weatherman2020]

The plea agreement would not have offered and accepted if there was a possibility of jail time. The judge is all in on this. He or she was probably consulted.

Like judges who rule government must fund private companies because they rip limbs off of babies?

 

[multivita-man]

The plea agreement would not have offered and accepted if there was a possibility of jail time.

There's the possibility of jailtime because the law says there is and the judge can accept the plea but modify the penalty.

The judge is all in on this. He or she was probably consulted.

The attorneys on both sides look at the sentencing standards, case precedents, and the judge's reputation. Both the prosecution and defense likely already have a general idea/guestimate of what the range of outcomes are, and they negotiate toward the middle based on that range.

The US attorney didn't want Hunter to serve a long sentence; he wanted a conviction, and it looks like he got one. Hunter's defense attorneys looked at the evidence, figured he was screwed, and wanted to keep him out of prison so he could get on with life, and it looks like that's what they got.

Judges are often inclined to go with plea agreements as long as they feel that the agreement doesn't violate the public interest or the interests of the justice system.

 

[tahuyaman]

There's the possibility of jailtime because the law says there is and the judge can accept the plea but modify the penalty.



The attorneys on both sides look at the sentencing standards, case precedents, and the judge's reputation. Both the prosecution and defense likely already have a general idea/guestimate of what the range of outcomes are, and they negotiate toward the middle based on that range.

The US attorney didn't want Hunter to serve a long sentence; he wanted a conviction, and it looks like he got one. Hunter's defense attorneys looked at the evidence, figured he was screwed, and wanted to keep him out of prison so he could get on with life, and it looks like that's what they got.

Judges are often inclined to go with plea agreements as long as they feel that the agreement doesn't violate the public interest or the interests of the justice system.

I’m certain the judge was consulted and is on board.

 

[tahuyaman]

….The attorneys on both sides look at the sentencing standards, case precedents, and the judge's reputation.

It appears that the prosecution and the defense was on the same side with this one.

 

[multivita-man]

I’m certain the judge was consulted and is on board.

Using your telepathic powers, eh?

 

[tahuyaman]

Using your telepathic powers, eh?

Corruption isn’t hidden any more. They don’t ever try to hide it. It’s in your face and if you don’t like it, they say GFY.

 

[skye]

Not satire but the truth

 

[multivita-man]

Corruption isn’t hidden any more. They don’t ever try to hide it. It’s in your face and if you don’t like it, they say GFY.