Hatred

[Samson]

I'm just thinking about the Dalai Lama. One would think he would hate Mao Tse Tung, after all Mao ordered the Tibetan Holocaust.

I wonder if baked cod with mustard sauce would make him cry?

 

[Sky Dancer]

is holding a grudge and thinking you're right. From Don't Bite the Hook by Pema Chodron.

Pema Chodron says that's what the Dalai Lama thinks.

I reaize it means I'm in deep trouble.

Hatred is allowing someone else to control your life and giving your freedom to another person. The grudge is irrelevant, so is you being right or wrong. Set yourself free and deny that person the right to control you and you will be free, sleep batter, and just might make their life more miserable because they still hate you.

Karma works both ways after all.

Yes. That's why I have to work on it. I have to let someone else be right all the time.

 

[Sky Dancer]

I'm just thinking about the Dalai Lama. One would think he would hate Mao Tse Tung, after all Mao ordered the Tibetan Holocaust.

I wonder if baked cod with mustard sauce would make him cry?

I bet he cries freely, Samson.

 

[Quantum Windbag]

hate, hatred, vials of hate, disaffection, disfavor; alienation, estrangement, coolness; enmity; animosity., umbrage, pique, grudge; dudgeon, ...I'll be honest. I have some of these kinds of grudges. I want to overcome them.


I'm studying Pema Chodron CD called Don't Bite the Hook.


The whole point is to catch yourself when you're hating and then not feed it.

I tried to clear up a grudge with another poster today and it didn't work, BTW.

This is also mentioned in Hebrews 12:14-15

Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled;

Your responsibility is only to your spiritual walk, not to that of others, unless your negative attitude impacts their walk. Be an example by forgiving and moving on, not by clinging to the bitterness, anger, hatred, etc.

 

[Sky Dancer]

You mean I have to love all those people I hate?

 

[Avatar4321]

You mean I have to love all those people I hate?

Yes. You'd be surprised how much brighter life is when you don't hate them

But then, maybe you are a Sith and will lose your power if you let go of the hatred.

 

[manu1959]

hate is a wasted emotion and takes too much energy....

 

[Sky Dancer]

You mean I have to love all those people I hate?

Yes. You'd be surprised how much brighter life is when you don't hate them

But then, maybe you are a Sith and will lose your power if you let go of the hatred.

Yeah, I think I'm a sith.

The whole thing gets wrapped up in righteousness.

 

[Quantum Windbag]

You mean I have to love all those people I hate?

Love is an action, not an emotion. Love is how you treat them, not how you feel about them. Love them in deed and you will love them indeed.

 

[Sky Dancer]

I'm honest. Not many people admit to holding grudges.

 

[ABikerSailor]

You know Sky, I learned something about that myself this past week and this weekend.........

I'd met someone who claimed to be a US Navy Sailor. His name is Keaka (but he goes by the name of Bubba).

He ripped me off of 150 bucks, and considering that I live on 700, that's a pretty hard hit to take this month.

I put his name out among my friends, and told them that I would kick the living shit outta him if he even thought of crossing my line of sight, because that's really fucked up to do to someone, especially when you know their situation (I'm poor).

Interestingly enough, there was a guy at the beginning of the week that tried to run me off the road while I was riding my bicycle.

Saturday morning, I went out to do my 5 mile morning loop, and halfway through my ride, the bolt on my seatpost broke and the saddle left the bike. I rode back, found all the pieces and figured out that all I needed was an allen bolt. Went to the bike shop and they gave me one for free as an extra part.

What was the end result of said bad thing that I could have hated? I found a better position for my saddle that allows me to go faster. I'm grateful for the experience, because it taught me patience and self reliance.

That afternoon? I went out again for my 5 mile loop, and the same dude that tried to run me over beeped his horn and asked me to go over to him.

He then apologized for what he'd done, explained that he'd had a bad day and took it out on me because it was handy. Incidentally, when he did it, I was lucky because I caught him at a stoplight and banged on his window and told him about it. He said I was right to chase him down and he thanked me for helping him to get some perspective.

If I'd stayed pissed at him, I would have never been able to receive his apology. Hate will make you miss out on a lot.

As far as the fucker that ripped me off? I told several people that his ass is mine if I see him. My roomie told me that vengence belongs to God alone, and before I beat his ass, I had to listen to what he has to say.

So no, I can't hate him either. Maybe there's an explaination, but I doubt it.

No. Hate is a wasted emotion.

 

[Sky Dancer]

You know Sky, I learned something about that myself this past week and this weekend.........

I'd met someone who claimed to be a US Navy Sailor. His name is Keaka (but he goes by the name of Bubba).

He ripped me off of 150 bucks, and considering that I live on 700, that's a pretty hard hit to take this month.

I put his name out among my friends, and told them that I would kick the living shit outta him if he even thought of crossing my line of sight, because that's really fucked up to do to someone, especially when you know their situation (I'm poor).

Interestingly enough, there was a guy at the beginning of the week that tried to run me off the road while I was riding my bicycle.

Saturday morning, I went out to do my 5 mile morning loop, and halfway through my ride, the bolt on my seatpost broke and the saddle left the bike. I rode back, found all the pieces and figured out that all I needed was an allen bolt. Went to the bike shop and they gave me one for free as an extra part.

What was the end result of said bad thing that I could have hated? I found a better position for my saddle that allows me to go faster. I'm grateful for the experience, because it taught me patience and self reliance.

That afternoon? I went out again for my 5 mile loop, and the same dude that tried to run me over beeped his horn and asked me to go over to him.

He then apologized for what he'd done, explained that he'd had a bad day and took it out on me because it was handy. Incidentally, when he did it, I was lucky because I caught him at a stoplight and banged on his window and told him about it. He said I was right to chase him down and he thanked me for helping him to get some perspective.

If I'd stayed pissed at him, I would have never been able to receive his apology. Hate will make you miss out on a lot.

As far as the fucker that ripped me off? I told several people that his ass is mine if I see him. My roomie told me that vengence belongs to God alone, and before I beat his ass, I had to listen to what he has to say.

So no, I can't hate him either. Maybe there's an explaination, but I doubt it.

No. Hate is a wasted emotion.

Great story Rob. Coming from you it means alot.

I've been listening to this CD of Pema Chodron and when she said that hatred is holding a grudge and thinking you're right I started to cry.

I saw myself in that. I saw how tight and angry I get with conservative posters and with the Christian right.

It makes me sad and determined to overcome this in myself. I thought I'd start a thread on it.

Hell is not a place we go to but a state of mind that comes from holding onto anger and hatred.

 

[ABikerSailor]

Well Sky, you know as a Buddhist that attachment to anything will remove you from Nirvana.

If you have a particular attachment to just one point of view, then you will be unable to see the one that is exactly opposite it, and in the friction of opposites is where the best ideas are born.

So, if you practice non attachment to those ideals by looking at the other aspects (not necessarily just the polar opposite, but all of them), then you'll possibly be able to overcome this little road block.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Yeah, Pema Chodron says the trick is to get real curious and interested in the other side, the opposition. Get to understanding them, see things from their point of view.

 

[Avatar4321]

I've found the best way to way to not hate others is to dose yourself with some humility. Try to serve people. To understand them. To learn about them. Its hard to hate someone when you understand where they are coming from.

 

[Sky Dancer]

It's tough for me to just stand there open in the face of someone who is cold and rejecting.

 

[Sky Dancer]

But that's my path. Keep the arms out stretched and open no matter what.

 

[Dis]

is holding a grudge and thinking you're right. From Don't Bite the Hook by Pema Chodron.

Pema Chodron says that's what the Dalai Lama thinks.

I reaize it means I'm in deep trouble.

You don't say...

 

[Sky Dancer]

Just consider the definition of hate by Pema Chodron:

'Holding a grudge and thinking you're right.'

 

[Sky Dancer]

is holding a grudge and thinking you're right. From Don't Bite the Hook by Pema Chodron.

Pema Chodron says that's what the Dalai Lama thinks.

I reaize it means I'm in deep trouble.

You don't say...

"Rather than letting our negativity get the better of us, we could acknowledge that right now we feel like a piece of shit and not be squeamish about taking a good look."
— Pema Chödrön (When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times)