CDZ Growing trend?

[danielpalos]

Is the following a growing trend? In our church we received a new member about a month ago. He is a single white male age 29. He has been working in the local paper mill sinceage 23...he holds a college degree and has been moving up in the company. We went golfing together and I got to know him. He makes a good salary and has no bills as he lives at home with his mom...dad has passed. He stated he only pays a little for food..drives his dad's truck for nothing other than gas and plans to take over his parents house someday. He has dated some but feels as if saving his money is more important than settling down with a family so he said he is done dating and hopes more and more young people follow his lead especially those with good incomes. He feels this is a trend and views it as a good thing. He plans to retire in his lower 50s with plenty of money. I know of only 2 others like this. Is this a good trend?

It can be like, soo difficult to find nice girls for free. Women usually just lie to us and let us miss our turn, for free, when don't have any money.

It does seem to define which model you get to drive..But getting married can always wait until you're ready to not have any fun anymore..

I need a wife who doesn't mind simply getting me used to modern women in modern times.

 

[Wry Catcher]

Is the following a growing trend? In our church we received a new member about a month ago. He is a single white male age 29. He has been working in the local paper mill sinceage 23...he holds a college degree and has been moving up in the company. We went golfing together and I got to know him. He makes a good salary and has no bills as he lives at home with his mom...dad has passed. He stated he only pays a little for food..drives his dad's truck for nothing other than gas and plans to take over his parents house someday. He has dated some but feels as if saving his money is more important than settling down with a family so he said he is done dating and hopes more and more young people follow his lead especially those with good incomes. He feels this is a trend and views it as a good thing. He plans to retire in his lower 50s with plenty of money. I know of only 2 others like this. Is this a good trend?

Different stokes for different folks.

 

[Tommy Tainant]

Is the following a growing trend? In our church we received a new member about a month ago. He is a single white male age 29. He has been working in the local paper mill sinceage 23...he holds a college degree and has been moving up in the company. We went golfing together and I got to know him. He makes a good salary and has no bills as he lives at home with his mom...dad has passed. He stated he only pays a little for food..drives his dad's truck for nothing other than gas and plans to take over his parents house someday. He has dated some but feels as if saving his money is more important than settling down with a family so he said he is done dating and hopes more and more young people follow his lead especially those with good incomes. He feels this is a trend and views it as a good thing. He plans to retire in his lower 50s with plenty of money. I know of only 2 others like this. Is this a good trend?

No.
He sets more store on wealth than happiness. There is something a bit "not right" about him.

I'd have to disagree.

When I got married I was financially secure.

One of the biggest failures in marriage is financial insecurity.

I applaud him for wanting to start a family when he is financially secure.

But you cant regulate your feelings without screwing yourself up. When you meet "the one" thats it. All the well thought out plans you had go out the window. Its not healthy to live like this.....................or, he is deluding himself and when he does meet someone he will join the rest of us in unstructured bliss.

The Air Force regulated my feelings without screwing me up.

The one I met was someone I knew for years and understood my well thought out plans.

I was preoccupied with building a life where I wasn't going to raise children while I was still raising myself and have to worry about the security of another individual until I was secure in my life.

I've never been happier.

I've seen too many families breaking up and their children being the victims of parents who were in no way capable nor compatible to raise children.

We got engaged after 3 weeks and married 3 months later in Key West. Did it all on my credit card.
Everybody said we were nuts which was probably correct.
But 22 years and 3 kids later we are still waiting for it to go sour.
I wouldnt swap a minute of it for all the tea in China.

 

[Yousaidwhat]

Is the following a growing trend? In our church we received a new member about a month ago. He is a single white male age 29. He has been working in the local paper mill sinceage 23...he holds a college degree and has been moving up in the company. We went golfing together and I got to know him. He makes a good salary and has no bills as he lives at home with his mom...dad has passed. He stated he only pays a little for food..drives his dad's truck for nothing other than gas and plans to take over his parents house someday. He has dated some but feels as if saving his money is more important than settling down with a family so he said he is done dating and hopes more and more young people follow his lead especially those with good incomes. He feels this is a trend and views it as a good thing. He plans to retire in his lower 50s with plenty of money. I know of only 2 others like this. Is this a good trend?

No.
He sets more store on wealth than happiness. There is something a bit "not right" about him.

I'd have to disagree.

When I got married I was financially secure.

One of the biggest failures in marriage is financial insecurity.

I applaud him for wanting to start a family when he is financially secure.

But you cant regulate your feelings without screwing yourself up. When you meet "the one" thats it. All the well thought out plans you had go out the window. Its not healthy to live like this.....................or, he is deluding himself and when he does meet someone he will join the rest of us in unstructured bliss.

The Air Force regulated my feelings without screwing me up.

The one I met was someone I knew for years and understood my well thought out plans.

I was preoccupied with building a life where I wasn't going to raise children while I was still raising myself and have to worry about the security of another individual until I was secure in my life.

I've never been happier.

I've seen too many families breaking up and their children being the victims of parents who were in no way capable nor compatible to raise children.

We got engaged after 3 weeks and married 3 months later in Key West. Did it all on my credit card.
Everybody said we were nuts which was probably correct.
But 22 years and 3 kids later we are still waiting for it to go sour.
I wouldnt swap a minute of it for all the tea in China.

Congrats.

And here I was under the impression you were heartless.

 

[Tommy Tainant]

No.
He sets more store on wealth than happiness. There is something a bit "not right" about him.

I'd have to disagree.

When I got married I was financially secure.

One of the biggest failures in marriage is financial insecurity.

I applaud him for wanting to start a family when he is financially secure.

But you cant regulate your feelings without screwing yourself up. When you meet "the one" thats it. All the well thought out plans you had go out the window. Its not healthy to live like this.....................or, he is deluding himself and when he does meet someone he will join the rest of us in unstructured bliss.

The Air Force regulated my feelings without screwing me up.

The one I met was someone I knew for years and understood my well thought out plans.

I was preoccupied with building a life where I wasn't going to raise children while I was still raising myself and have to worry about the security of another individual until I was secure in my life.

I've never been happier.

I've seen too many families breaking up and their children being the victims of parents who were in no way capable nor compatible to raise children.

We got engaged after 3 weeks and married 3 months later in Key West. Did it all on my credit card.
Everybody said we were nuts which was probably correct.
But 22 years and 3 kids later we are still waiting for it to go sour.
I wouldnt swap a minute of it for all the tea in China.

Congrats.

And here I was under the impression you were heartless.

I would advise my kids to follow your example rather than mine.

 

[Unkotare]

Not worried just seeing if you agree that slot less married young working people is a good thing for the nation? Perhaps a big decrease in the birthrate could be a good thing?

It would (will) be exactly and drastically the opposite of "a good thing."

 

[usmbguest5318]

Is this a good trend?

I'm reluctant to declare it good, but I have no reservation saying it's certainly not bad and it's more likely good than not good (neutral).

• Life expectancies are longer and women's is longer than men's, but if raising a family is among their life goals, they must do so within a specific time period.
• Commencing child rearing at a (presumably) sager point in life is definitely good for one's kids. Parental experience and wisdom have huge impacts on the success of offspring. Quite simply, one cannot teach a child lessons one doesn't or hardly understands.
• Committing to others, namely one's family members, when one has matured enough to know one's strengths and weaknesses is surely better than doing so while one is still discovering oneself, prudently exercising self-confidence, and learning to be objective about oneself, one's character and one's abilities.
• Being young and pretty "well set" and facing a relatively narrow spectrum of challenges is among the most enjoyable periods in a life. What good is there to hastening its end? Allowing that period to close organically is, I think, a good thing.
• As go economic transformation, we are on, maybe in, the cusp of a huge transformation, wrought by technology, in the way people make a living. Timing the start of family-making so that one can have a change to "read the writing on the wall" and then use that info to guide one's kids is a good strategy. Clarity is always better than uncertainty.
• The key to being an effective parent or partner is that one's mistakes and successes are useful. Some parents, in terms of their own choices (or failure to make choices) for themselves, do more things "right" than "wrong," and they can teach their kids how to build on their model. Other parents do more "wrong" than "right," and they can teach their kids what not to do.
  
  Each approach is very beneficial in culling the realm of possible approaches to personal development that the child, aided by its parents, might undertake. The thing is that if one has children while one is pretty young, one has neither body learnings that come from failure or success. Accordingly, such individuals will have a much harder time shuttling their kids to successful and productive futures. Instead, so situated kids must do it primarily all on their own. Some kids can do that and do, but the ones who do are exceptional kids.
  
  I think one is being absurdly optimistic and cruelly burdensome to one's kids by bringing them into a world whereof their only real chance to "make it" is to be "one in half-a-million." To my mind, that's a bad thing.

There're other things I could have mentioned -- they came to mind -- but I think I've shared enough to convey how I consider the matter and factors involved. That's really all I wanted to do.

 

[Unkotare]

...

• Being young and pretty "well set" and facing a relatively narrow spectrum of challenges is among the most enjoyable periods in a life. What good is there to hastening its end? Allowing that period to close organically is, I think, a good thing.......

WTF? What makes you think having children means the end of enjoyable life?

 

[Rambunctious]

Is the following a growing trend? In our church we received a new member about a month ago. He is a single white male age 29. He has been working in the local paper mill sinceage 23...he holds a college degree and has been moving up in the company. We went golfing together and I got to know him. He makes a good salary and has no bills as he lives at home with his mom...dad has passed. He stated he only pays a little for food..drives his dad's truck for nothing other than gas and plans to take over his parents house someday. He has dated some but feels as if saving his money is more important than settling down with a family so he said he is done dating and hopes more and more young people follow his lead especially those with good incomes. He feels this is a trend and views it as a good thing. He plans to retire in his lower 50s with plenty of money. I know of only 2 others like this. Is this a good trend?

MGTOW.....Men Going Their Own Way.....look it up

 

[ChrisL]

I don't see anything wrong with waiting until you feel you are ready to get involved in a relationship with another person. In fact, it is probably a very good thing, and get to know the person before you jump into marriage! Don't just marry the first warm body for goodness sake! You need to really know the person first or you could end up in a loveless, unhappy, and unfulfilling marriage.

 

[oldsoul]

Is the following a growing trend? In our church we received a new member about a month ago. He is a single white male age 29. He has been working in the local paper mill sinceage 23...he holds a college degree and has been moving up in the company. We went golfing together and I got to know him. He makes a good salary and has no bills as he lives at home with his mom...dad has passed. He stated he only pays a little for food..drives his dad's truck for nothing other than gas and plans to take over his parents house someday. He has dated some but feels as if saving his money is more important than settling down with a family so he said he is done dating and hopes more and more young people follow his lead especially those with good incomes. He feels this is a trend and views it as a good thing. He plans to retire in his lower 50s with plenty of money. I know of only 2 others like this. Is this a good trend?

No.
He sets more store on wealth than happiness. There is something a bit "not right" about him.

Ever thought that maybe this is what makes him happy? For someone who seems to despise prejudice, you sure are quick to judge this guy...

 

[Vastator]

Is the following a growing trend? In our church we received a new member about a month ago. He is a single white male age 29. He has been working in the local paper mill sinceage 23...he holds a college degree and has been moving up in the company. We went golfing together and I got to know him. He makes a good salary and has no bills as he lives at home with his mom...dad has passed. He stated he only pays a little for food..drives his dad's truck for nothing other than gas and plans to take over his parents house someday. He has dated some but feels as if saving his money is more important than settling down with a family so he said he is done dating and hopes more and more young people follow his lead especially those with good incomes. He feels this is a trend and views it as a good thing. He plans to retire in his lower 50s with plenty of money. I know of only 2 others like this. Is this a good trend?

Yes. It is a growing trend. It two prong really. One being that parents baby their children for far too long, and never urve tbem to get out, and make something of themselves...
The other prong? Marriage is dead. E er since women realized that it is little more than an insurance policy, that allows them to steal half of their future former spouses assets, and up to 18 years of exthortion payments; they've been using it. And men have caught on. In this day and age I cojld never in good concience, encourage my sons to get married.

 

[oldsoul]

Go out, do things, meet people....build some memories
Avoiding relationships also leads to an empty life

Sounds like he IS living, and building relationships. Why else would he agree to go golfing with someone he does not already know well? Seems to me you are assuming an awful lot here. The only thing that I see he has chosen to not do, is form romantic relationships. My brother lives a full life, with several close friends, and no interest in romantic relationships. Are you saying he is wrong to do so? Would it change things for you if I told you he has a very good chance of dying young because of a condition he has had since birth? How do you know this, or something similar, is the case with this man?

Interesting how those who say they want prejudice to end, are the first ones to pre-judge this man's decisions without knowing why he made them.

 

[oldsoul]

I don't see anything wrong with waiting until you feel you are ready to get involved in a relationship with another person. In fact, it is probably a very good thing, and get to know the person before you jump into marriage! Don't just marry the first warm body for goodness sake! You need to really know the person first or you could end up in a loveless, unhappy, and unfulfilling marriage.

Where were you when I was 18? Damn good advice, just wish I had gotten it before I had to learn that the HARD way...

 

[Unkotare]

Is the following a growing trend? In our church we received a new member about a month ago. He is a single white male age 29. He has been working in the local paper mill sinceage 23...he holds a college degree and has been moving up in the company. We went golfing together and I got to know him. He makes a good salary and has no bills as he lives at home with his mom...dad has passed. He stated he only pays a little for food..drives his dad's truck for nothing other than gas and plans to take over his parents house someday. He has dated some but feels as if saving his money is more important than settling down with a family so he said he is done dating and hopes more and more young people follow his lead especially those with good incomes. He feels this is a trend and views it as a good thing. He plans to retire in his lower 50s with plenty of money. I know of only 2 others like this. Is this a good trend?

Yes. It is a growing trend. It two prong really. One being that parents baby their children for far too long, and never urve tbem to get out, and make something of themselves...
The other prong? Marriage is dead. E er since women realized that it is little more than an insurance policy, that allows them to steal half of their future former spouses assets, and up to 18 years of exthortion payments; they've been using it. And men have caught on. In this day and age I cojld never in good concience, encourage my sons to get married.

The Marxists thank you.

 

[usmbguest5318]

...

• Being young and pretty "well set" and facing a relatively narrow spectrum of challenges is among the most enjoyable periods in a life. What good is there to hastening its end? Allowing that period to close organically is, I think, a good thing.......

WTF? What makes you think having children means the end of enjoyable life?

WTF? That "having children means the end of enjoyable life" is an inference you unilaterally and unsoundly made.

• What part of the word "among" did you not understand?
  
• Why did you opt to focus on the object of the predicate (its end) as opposed to the action of predicate?
  
  The operative point of the "hasten" sentence is "why rush/hasten," not "why end." The end of the "young, 'well set' and narrow spectrum" period is merely the thing hastened/rushed.
  
  I could have written a sentence that emphasizes the ending of a life-phase rather than one's hastening toward the end of a life-phase, but I didn't because I didn't want to stress the ending of a phase. One way I could have stressed the ending rather than the hastening is with the following construction: "What good is there to hastily ending it?"

The reason I chose a construction that operatively prioritizes "hasten" rather than "end" is because I'm well aware that one enjoyable period may or may not be followed by another enjoyable phase. The period wherein one is "young and pretty "well set" and facing a relatively narrow spectrum of challenges" and the period where of one's life includes the challenges associated with being a parent -- not at all a narrow spectrum of challenges -- are two very different periods in one's life. Anyone who's raised kids will surely attest to the birth of their first child (if not the pregnancy period) marking the point at which their life changed, the point at which came to a close one phase/period of their life and another began. Assuming he someday becomes a parent, that will be the case as well for the young man described in the OP, no matter when he commences that period of his life.

The OP asks about the extent to which young people postpone until some point in their late twenties, or even later, the start of the parental phase. The bullet-point about which you asked says, in part via a rhetorical question, there't no particularly good reason a young man needs to commence parenthood while he is in his early 20s or younger.

 

[ChrisL]

Most of the people who had kids in their 20s or younger did so out of sheer stupidity anyways. Lol. Let's be honest now. If you had waited until you were older, you would have never had kids at all.

 

[rightwinger]

I don't see anything wrong with waiting until you feel you are ready to get involved in a relationship with another person. In fact, it is probably a very good thing, and get to know the person before you jump into marriage! Don't just marry the first warm body for goodness sake! You need to really know the person first or you could end up in a loveless, unhappy, and unfulfilling marriage.

Not knowing the person outside of a few vague sentences in the OP make it difficult to judge

He may just not want a relationship in his life or may be too socially awkward to build one
He may be just cheap or obsessed with money
He may not want to leave his mother
He may be sacrificing enjoyment in his younger life for enjoyment later

 

[Unkotare]

...

• Being young and pretty "well set" and facing a relatively narrow spectrum of challenges is among the most enjoyable periods in a life. What good is there to hastening its end? Allowing that period to close organically is, I think, a good thing.......

WTF? What makes you think having children means the end of enjoyable life?

WTF? That "having children means the end of enjoyable life" is an inference you unilaterally and unsoundly made.

• What part of the word "among" did you not understand?
  
• Why did you opt to focus on the object of the predicate (its end) as opposed to the action of predicate?
  
  The operative point of the "hasten" sentence is "why rush/hasten," not "why end." The end of the "young, 'well set' and narrow spectrum" period is merely the thing hastened/rushed.
  
  I could have written a sentence that emphasizes the ending of a life-phase rather than one's hastening toward the end of a life-phase, but I didn't because I didn't want to stress the ending of a phase. One way I could have stressed the ending rather than the hastening is with the following construction: "What good is there to hastily ending it?"

The reason I chose a construction that operatively prioritizes "hasten" rather than "end" is because I'm well aware that one enjoyable period may or may not be followed by another enjoyable phase......

Spin fail.

 

[Unkotare]

...... The period wherein one is "young and pretty "well set" and facing a relatively narrow spectrum of challenges" ....

Different challenges do not equate to narrow challenges.