Zone1 Cain calls for a ceasefire after murdering Able

[Votto]

Cain Calls For Ceasefire After Killing Abel

WORLD — Immediately after murdering his brother Abel in cold blood, Cain reportedly called for a total ceasefire.

babylonbee.com

Cain Calls For Ceasefire After Killing Abel
SCRIPTURE·Nov 12, 2023 · BabylonBee.com
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WORLD — Immediately after murdering his brother Abel in cold blood, Cain reportedly called for a total ceasefire.
"It's time to put a stop to the senseless violence," said Cain as he checked Abel's pulse to make sure he was dead. "Everyone can lay down their weapons now!"
According to sources, Cain had lured Abel out into a field and then initiated a surprise attack on the unarmed man. Cain then declared a ceasefire after mistakenly believing Abel to be dead. However, upon seeing Abel's legs still moving, Cain called off the ceasefire to bludgeon Abel a few more times, then announced the ceasefire was back on.

When the Lord came to question Cain about Abel's murder, Cain explained that he was simply decolonizing his family's land. "What did you think decolonizing meant?" said Cain, waving to his brother's body. "This was my land before Abel showed up! For years now, I have been kept in this open-air prison, tilling the land while my brother got to travel around with the flocks. I have done nothing but throw off the shackles of the oppressor!"
At publishing time, the Lord had gently informed Cain that neo-Marxist propaganda wouldn't work on anyone for thousands of years, so he better start running.

 

[Donald H]

This is another bible story that shouldn't be taken literally. More modern christians such as Ding and Meriweather have explanations for these sort of stories.

Was this one supposed to be read with tongue in cheek?

 

[Votto]

This is another bible story that shouldn't be taken literally. More modern christians such as Ding and Meriweather have explanations for these sort of stories.

Was this one supposed to be read with tongue in cheek?

It's a little thing called satire.

 

[Donald H]

It's a little thing called satire.

Posting in the appropriate section for satire would be helpful.

Atheists like me take it as just more semi-serious malarky.

 

[Kilroy2]

So two guys brothers were at war and to settle the differences one had to die.

Now their should be peace to stop further bloodshed

I can see the reference to stop further bloodshed

It only cost one person life for it to end

So the lesson learn is

Strike first and winner takes all

then ask for forgiveness and let this be a lesson to others.

 

[Votto]

So two guys brothers were at war and to settle the differences one had to die.

Now their should be peace to stop further bloodshed

I can see the reference to stop further bloodshed

It only cost one person life for it to end

So the lesson learn is

Strike first and winner takes all

then ask for forgiveness and let this be a lesson to others.

Why did God allow Cain to live?

 

[Meriweather]

Why did God allow Cain to live?

God can still work with His people despite failures--even grave failures.

 

[Votto]

God can still work with His people despite failures--even grave failures.

But God ended up killing off the entire line of Cain.

 

[Kilroy2]

Why did God allow Cain to live?

The moral of the story

Well God is above the sins of man otherwise what would be the difference between him and the devil.

Best to lead by example

Is it better to forgive?

Do two sins make a wrong?

 

[Votto]

The moral of the story

Well God is above the sins of man otherwise what would be the difference between him and the devil.

Best to lead by example

Is it better to forgive?

Do two sins make a wrong?

Eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.

They had no prison system.

Letting a murderer go free to kill again does not sound like such a good idea.

So, it's not just about forgiving the person who murdered, it's about protecting society from them as well.

The Bible portrays Cain's offspring as just that, violent and murderous.

 

[bigrebnc1775]

Cain Calls For Ceasefire After Killing Abel

WORLD — Immediately after murdering his brother Abel in cold blood, Cain reportedly called for a total ceasefire.

babylonbee.com

Cain Calls For Ceasefire After Killing Abel
SCRIPTURE·Nov 12, 2023 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.

WORLD — Immediately after murdering his brother Abel in cold blood, Cain reportedly called for a total ceasefire.
"It's time to put a stop to the senseless violence," said Cain as he checked Abel's pulse to make sure he was dead. "Everyone can lay down their weapons now!"
According to sources, Cain had lured Abel out into a field and then initiated a surprise attack on the unarmed man. Cain then declared a ceasefire after mistakenly believing Abel to be dead. However, upon seeing Abel's legs still moving, Cain called off the ceasefire to bludgeon Abel a few more times, then announced the ceasefire was back on.

When the Lord came to question Cain about Abel's murder, Cain explained that he was simply decolonizing his family's land. "What did you think decolonizing meant?" said Cain, waving to his brother's body. "This was my land before Abel showed up! For years now, I have been kept in this open-air prison, tilling the land while my brother got to travel around with the flocks. I have done nothing but throw off the shackles of the oppressor!"
At publishing time, the Lord had gently informed Cain that neo-Marxist propaganda wouldn't work on anyone for thousands of years, so he better start running.

Perfect summation

 

[Meriweather]

But God ended up killing off the entire line of Cain.

Some propose Noah's wife was the descendant of Cain, and the possibility that one of their children married a descendant of Cain. I don't see how this can be proven, but it is certainly a provocative theory.

 

[MarcATL]

This is another bible story that shouldn't be taken literally. More modern christians such as Ding and Meriweather have explanations for these sort of stories.

Was this one supposed to be read with tongue in cheek?

What this idiot OP doesn't realize is that although God did, indeed, cursed Cain and banished him, he also protected him, by decreeing that anyone that lays a hand on him in retribution would face His wrath.

So the OP is, yet another, fake Christian who heard about this Bible story from someone on the street or the other and is applying it wrongly, for his own selfish political goals as far rightwing Republicans are wont to do.

 

[Meriweather]

What this idiot OP doesn't realize is that although God did, indeed, cursed Cain and banished him, he also protected him, by decreeing that anyone that lays a hand on him in retribution would face His wrath.

Has Hamas accepted banishment from the area? Has Hamas said they would go to an unpopulated area if the world would then protect them from any retaliation from Israel?

 

[MarcATL]

Has Hamas accepted banishment from the area? Has Hamas said they would go to an unpopulated area if the world would then protect them from any retaliation from Israel?

Those who lay a hand on Cain will face the wrath of God.

Deal with it.

 

[Meriweather]

Deal with it.

So no Biblical consequences for Hamas, just Biblical mandates for those whom Hamas massacres?

 

[MarcATL]

So no Biblical consequences for Hamas, just Biblical mandates for those whom Hamas massacres?

What can I tell you? Take it up w/God.

 

[The Sage of Main Street]

This is another bible story that shouldn't be taken literally. More modern christians such as Ding and Meriweather have explanations for these sort of stories.

Was this one supposed to be read with tongue in cheek?

Islam Is the Religion of Cain

 

[The Sage of Main Street]

Letting a murderer go free to kill again does not sound like such a good idea.

So, it's not just about forgiving the person who murdered, it's about protecting society from them as well.

The Bible portrays Cain's offspring as just that, violent and murderous.

So Were Ishmael's Offspring

 

[Meriweather]

What can I tell you? Take it up w/God.

I followed your example and took it up with the Bible passages you quoted. First, Cain had to leave the area. Then he was protected. Note that Cain didn't stay and proceed to more killing...

I have no need to "take this up with God." You, not God, were the one to introduce this solution. The Amalekites also harassed the Jews. Very different instructions were given about them. Since that is also in the Bible, are you also thinking about recommending that solution?