Discussion in 'Health and Lifestyle' started by Bonnie, May 23, 2006.
Do opposites attract, or is it compatability?
Is it a bit of both??
At my stage, compatibility and empathy. In 20's, 30's?
Too much energy needed for opposites huh? I agree
But there is usually something inrtriguing about people who aren't much like yourself
It's our constant yourn for something different. In this case different from ourselves
So what are you trying to convince yourself of over there LOL
Too true. I want someone interested in current events, but if they like sports too, well that's cool. As long as they don't expect me to stay awake through their games. If I can sleep on their stomach, well I'm in love.
They have to have patience to teach me what games they like, meaning Texas hold 'em, or whatever! :shocked:
Saw an interesting expose on PBS regarding attraction done in very scientific terms to see exactly if any one thing was the real key to attraction. Anyway this particular study seemed to suggest it was compatability that attracted and it was also compatability that worked long term.
I think it's more of a mixture. From an emotional standpoint, it can be pretty boring to be around somebody who's just like you all the time. You need some differences to spice it up. However, you also need some common ground to be able to get along with each other. From an instinctual standpoint, you look for a person with differences to add diversity to the gene pool, yet you also look for similarities to keep your own genetic material from dilluting.
I don't know about initial attraction but I'll tell you what is common in long term relationships.
People usually marry somewhere within their own IQ range.
You see black people marry white people, short people marry tall people, fat people marry skinny people, etc...
But what you DON'T see is really smart people marrying really stupid people. You have a few trophy wives but those are the exception to the rule. People usually marry within a small standard deviation from their IQ or success level.
In my mind it would have to be both compatability, and also just enough difference that we can both bring something new into the mix.
Very well said!!
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