Adultery

[Big Black Dog]

I've been married twice. My first marriage ended in divorce because of the wife's infidelity. I was in the Navy way back then and went off on a cruise thinking everything was just fine. I had no reason to think otherwise because I trusted her totally. While on this cruise, the normally frequent letters seemed to be very far and few between. I'd call from overseas when the ship was in port and I had no reason to believe there was anything going on. When the ship pulled back into our homeport, she was not on the pier waiting with all the other wives and children. I took a cab home only to find that the "new" boyfriend had moved in and all of my stuff was neatly packed up and in the garage. I was totally in shock because I was blindsided without any clue as to the incoming punch. After a bit of checking around, the ex-wife had been having an affair with the doctor she worked with for several years and not only the boyfriend but some other sailor too. I had never cheated on her and couldn't understand how or why she would have done this. It was a very quick divorce. Funny thing is she didn't marry the guy that had moved in with her but a couple of years later she married a guy that was 15 years older than she was! All of this happened over 21 years ago and i haven't seen the ex-wife in over 18 years. Our two kids tell me things now and then but usually we don't discuss her. I'm told that she isn't very happy with her life. I'm very happy with mine. I ended up marrying a terrific lady and have become very successful financially in the last 20 years. The ex-wife and her hubby lives in a trailer in a trailer park outside of a large town in South Carolina. She doesn't have a pot to piss in. The moral of the story I suppose is the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence.

 

[uscitizen]

Never done it. Heck one woman is enough for me.

Although there was this one time with 2 women... But all of us were unattached....

then there is the Catholic version of adultry. If the chruch did not properly divorce you...

 

[uscitizen]

I've been married twice. My first marriage ended in divorce because of the wife's infidelity. I was in the Navy way back then and went off on a cruise thinking everything was just fine. I had no reason to think otherwise because I trusted her totally. While on this cruise, the normally frequent letters seemed to be very far and few between. I'd call from overseas when the ship was in port and I had no reason to believe there was anything going on. When the ship pulled back into our homeport, she was not on the pier waiting with all the other wives and children. I took a cab home only to find that the "new" boyfriend had moved in and all of my stuff was neatly packed up and in the garage. I was totally in shock because I was blindsided without any clue as to the incoming punch. After a bit of checking around, the ex-wife had been having an affair with the doctor she worked with for several years and not only the boyfriend but some other sailor too. I had never cheated on her and couldn't understand how or why she would have done this. It was a very quick divorce. Funny thing is she didn't marry the guy that had moved in with her but a couple of years later she married a guy that was 15 years older than she was! All of this happened over 21 years ago and i haven't seen the ex-wife in over 18 years. Our two kids tell me things now and then but usually we don't discuss her. I'm told that she isn't very happy with her life. I'm very happy with mine. I ended up marrying a terrific lady and have become very successful financially in the last 20 years. The ex-wife and her hubby lives in a trailer in a trailer park outside of a large town in South Carolina. She doesn't have a pot to piss in. The moral of the story I suppose is the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence.

People can be happy with no pot to piss in. and people with gold pots can be very unhappy.
Just wanted to point that out.

 

[Madeline]

Apart from getting pregnant or catching a disease, I can think of few sexual adventures that reverberate through the years like adultery.

 

[Hister]

I've been married twice. My first marriage ended in divorce because of the wife's infidelity. I was in the Navy way back then and went off on a cruise thinking everything was just fine. I had no reason to think otherwise because I trusted her totally. While on this cruise, the normally frequent letters seemed to be very far and few between. I'd call from overseas when the ship was in port and I had no reason to believe there was anything going on. When the ship pulled back into our homeport, she was not on the pier waiting with all the other wives and children. I took a cab home only to find that the "new" boyfriend had moved in and all of my stuff was neatly packed up and in the garage. I was totally in shock because I was blindsided without any clue as to the incoming punch. After a bit of checking around, the ex-wife had been having an affair with the doctor she worked with for several years and not only the boyfriend but some other sailor too. I had never cheated on her and couldn't understand how or why she would have done this. It was a very quick divorce. Funny thing is she didn't marry the guy that had moved in with her but a couple of years later she married a guy that was 15 years older than she was! All of this happened over 21 years ago and i haven't seen the ex-wife in over 18 years. Our two kids tell me things now and then but usually we don't discuss her. I'm told that she isn't very happy with her life. I'm very happy with mine. I ended up marrying a terrific lady and have become very successful financially in the last 20 years. The ex-wife and her hubby lives in a trailer in a trailer park outside of a large town in South Carolina. She doesn't have a pot to piss in. The moral of the story I suppose is the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence.

Maybe she's happier now with her sex life.

 

[Douger]

I did not have sex with that woman !

 

[The Infidel]

Never done it. Heck one woman is enough for me.

Although there was this one time with 2 women... But all of us were unattached....

then there is the Catholic version of adultry. If the chruch did not properly divorce you...

OK, then was there sex involved?




If so.... you were attached

 

[Mr. H.]

The means don't justify the ends, but sometimes it just happens. I think few people in a relationship suddenly wake up one day and decide "I'm going to go out and have an adulterous affair". Situations arise and a tug of war ensues. And there's often times a real toll on all parties involved.

Just because it's not premeditated doesn't mean it isn't chosen. There's no such thing as "accidental sex".

Yeah, and if you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.

My point was that it's often a long slow process that can culminate in a sexual relationship. It could start with a casual conversation innocent enough, and morph in to a full blown affair.

And the tug of war of emotions is a head trip in itself. Or maybe there's the push of a failed marriage or an abusive relationship that leaves a person no other avenue.

 

[Cecilie1200]

The means don't justify the ends, but sometimes it just happens. I think few people in a relationship suddenly wake up one day and decide "I'm going to go out and have an adulterous affair". Situations arise and a tug of war ensues. And there's often times a real toll on all parties involved.

Just because it's not premeditated doesn't mean it isn't chosen. There's no such thing as "accidental sex".

Yeah, and if you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.

My point was that it's often a long slow process that can culminate in a sexual relationship. It could start with a casual conversation innocent enough, and morph in to a full blown affair.

And the tug of war of emotions is a head trip in itself. Or maybe there's the push of a failed marriage or an abusive relationship that leaves a person no other avenue.

If you're having sex with someone, you've decided.

I don't care how "long and slow" the process is. At some point, you decide to get naked and groiny. It's never accidental. You chose it.

"No other avenue"? Really? You really think there's ever a situation in which the only choice available is to remain married to one person while having sex with another person? Seriously?

 

[Mr. H.]

Just because it's not premeditated doesn't mean it isn't chosen. There's no such thing as "accidental sex".

Yeah, and if you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.

My point was that it's often a long slow process that can culminate in a sexual relationship. It could start with a casual conversation innocent enough, and morph in to a full blown affair.

And the tug of war of emotions is a head trip in itself. Or maybe there's the push of a failed marriage or an abusive relationship that leaves a person no other avenue.

If you're having sex with someone, you've decided.

I don't care how "long and slow" the process is. At some point, you decide to get naked and groiny. It's never accidental. You chose it.

"No other avenue"? Really? You really think there's ever a situation in which the only choice available is to remain married to one person while having sex with another person? Seriously?

Nope. I'm referring to divorce.

I guess I'm trying to deftly avoid telling "my story" LOL. It's.... complicated.

 

[Wry Catcher]

Judge not; lest you be judged. There are many reasons why someone engages in extra-marital relationships and not all of them are based on sexual activities.
Before condemning anyone, get the facts from all sides of an issue. If you haven't, withhold judgment or risk being a self righeous fool.

 

[rikules]

Yeah, and if you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.

My point was that it's often a long slow process that can culminate in a sexual relationship. It could start with a casual conversation innocent enough, and morph in to a full blown affair.

And the tug of war of emotions is a head trip in itself. Or maybe there's the push of a failed marriage or an abusive relationship that leaves a person no other avenue.

If you're having sex with someone, you've decided.

I don't care how "long and slow" the process is. At some point, you decide to get naked and groiny. It's never accidental. You chose it.

"No other avenue"? Really? You really think there's ever a situation in which the only choice available is to remain married to one person while having sex with another person? Seriously?

Nope. I'm referring to divorce.

I guess I'm trying to deftly avoid telling "my story" LOL. It's.... complicated.

well

I don't have a story

I've been with the same woman for 20+ years

NOT because we are married

but because she is WONDERFUL!

my absolute best friend!

I not only love her....I REALLY REALLY like her!

she's funny, witty, intelligent, brigt, clever....
she's caring and giving and loving

I will admit that (cus I'm a guy and guys are just like this) I see women every day who I'd like to......

do the nasty with....

but I NEVER put my self in any position for that to happen...

partly because I don't want to ruin our wonderful relationship

and partly because I KNOW it would hurt her...

and I would NEVER forgive myself if I hurt her..

 

[Madeline]

rikules, I'm happy that you and Mrs rikules are so contented. But not everyone is. My marriage lasted 13 years and I despised him every day of it...I can't have been much of a wife, and I surely thought he was a bad husband.

When he was "under pressure" he cheated, and then walked. When my turn came, I just walked. One of the things I am proudest of is that I kept my word even when there was no reason to do so other than my own honor.

Before I pat myself on the back, I have to admit I was The Other Woman. Except I didn't realize it, because the guy I loved was such a fine man surely would never, ever step out on his wife to be with me unless he was ready to divorce her. Right? I was the unique one, right? Wrong....but I imagine this what every chick who gets involved with a married man thinks.

So I have had the "Man, I think he's lying to me" head trip twice in my life...not fun. I fucked up another woman's home....not something to be proud of.

I gotta say, I just do not see any excuse for adultery.

 

[Mr. H.]

If you're having sex with someone, you've decided.

I don't care how "long and slow" the process is. At some point, you decide to get naked and groiny. It's never accidental. You chose it.

"No other avenue"? Really? You really think there's ever a situation in which the only choice available is to remain married to one person while having sex with another person? Seriously?

Nope. I'm referring to divorce.

I guess I'm trying to deftly avoid telling "my story" LOL. It's.... complicated.

well

I don't have a story

I've been with the same woman for 20+ years

NOT because we are married

but because she is WONDERFUL!

my absolute best friend!

I not only love her....I REALLY REALLY like her!

she's funny, witty, intelligent, brigt, clever....
she's caring and giving and loving

I will admit that (cus I'm a guy and guys are just like this) I see women every day who I'd like to......

do the nasty with....

but I NEVER put my self in any position for that to happen...

partly because I don't want to ruin our wonderful relationship

and partly because I KNOW it would hurt her...

and I would NEVER forgive myself if I hurt her..

You are indeed a fortunate man.

I will say that I've told my children how sorry I am for the way things happened, but I added that I do not regret it. Maybe they'll understand some day.

 

[Madeline]

*Hugs* Mr. H.

 

[AquaAthena]

Done it? Had it done to you? Considering it?

What is your stance on adultery?

Here's mine (gained after a lifetime of sorrows of all sorts): There is no excuse. If you are unhappy, fix it or move on. Lying and cheating are so destructive to everyone involved they can never be justified.

agreed.

NO CHEATING or LYING!

if you want to have sex with someone other than your WIFE/LIFE PARTNER/MATE then you OWE IT to them to be honest.

No betrayal of another's trust in you, and no betrayal of your own principles. It's really easy when you make those a habit.

 

[lizzie]

Adultery is one of those things that is common and all too human, and God's not going to strike you dead for engaging in it, but it always has negative repercussions, both immediate, and often down the road. It's damaging both to the betrayed person and also to the one who does the betraying. It's really a heart-breaking situation, but it is survivable given enough time and insight.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Adultery is harmful to self and other. Buddhists consider it sexual misconduct.

 

[AquaAthena]

Adultery is harmful to self and other. Buddhists consider it sexual misconduct.

If I HAD to choose between cheating on my loved one, or him cheating on me, I would take the latter. I could not forgive myself. I wouldn't. It would haunt me and I am not into rationalizing my choices or living with regrets.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Adultery is harmful to self and other. Buddhists consider it sexual misconduct.

If I HAD to choose between cheating on my loved one, or him cheating on me, I would take the latter. I could not forgive myself. I wouldn't. It would haunt me and I am not into rationalizing my choices or living with regrets.

I've been married for over 25 years and I've been faithful the whole time. I've been tempted a few times.