A Question for the Moms

[Said1]

.



There being a man in their immediate vicinity that didn't immediately bow to their superiority. I'm serious. The only men I didn't see being accosted near their booths were the ones who were with their girlfriends and quite obviously whipped.

Sometimes I wish you just wouldn't type stuff.

 

[Hobbit]

Sometimes I wish you just wouldn't type stuff.

What, the horrible, liberal reality that is life on a modern college campus? Hey, I have to live it. I still remember the feminist groups talking about how being against abortion or thinking that raising children was a worthwhile cause made you either a chauvanistic, wife-beating asshole or a brainwashed love slave still stuck in the 50s, and that was just the stuff they said outside in broad daylight. I once had the pleasure of getting a description of one of their private meetings from a female member of the campus newspaper. All those stories about condoning castration are true.

Not to be crude..but try shoving something the size of a watermelon through something the size of a grapefruit... See if that hurts.

Like I said, it looks like it hurts, and I can never know the extent of it. However, I am trying to understand it, because it's obvious that I don't, and with such an apparent feminist hot-button, I knew I couldn't ask a feminist, and my mom herself sad that it was probably different for everybody. I figured this was probably the easiest place to ask without getting either distortions, fury, or a bunch of blushing women who won't answer such a question. It's also a pretty good sample size.

 

[Abbey Normal]

Dang Hobbit, I can't imagine going to school with so many liberals. College used to be so much fun, back when people didn't take every little thing so seriously.

I appreciate that you turned to us "older" women for information. I think most if not all of the women who have been on this baord a while are past the hyper-sensitive stage of live.

 

[Annie]

Dang Hobbit, I can't imagine going to school with so many liberals. College used to be so much fun, back when people didn't take every little thing so seriously.

I appreciate that you turned to us "older" women for information. I think most if not all of the women who have been on this baord a while are past the hyper-sensitive stage of live.

I'll have to agree with some of all. I think by nature, most women have a higher pain tolerance than most men. Childbirth is painful, but temporary-however child rearing goes on forever. I didn't need any meds for the 3 kids, but that was me.

Two slipped discs were more painful and lasted much longer-10 days in traction and lots of pain meds than childbirth.

 

[rtwngAvngr]

Weren't you bitching yesterday about threads getting off topic? You're looking pathetic again.

Shut up, p-whip.

 

[The ClayTaurus]

Shut up, p-whip.

Better p-whipped than p-deprived...


How's that working out for you?

I know, I know. You're just too manly for these bitches to understand Keep fightin' the good fight.

 

[Shattered]

When you two pull each others pigtails so often, doesn't it start to hurt after awhile?

 

[rtwngAvngr]

Better p-whipped than p-deprived...


How's that working out for you?

I know, I know. You're just too manly for these bitches to understand Keep fightin' the good fight.

I'm not deprived, but at least you admit you're whipped. That's funny. This is too easy, like shooting dolts in a barrell!

 

[The ClayTaurus]

I'm not deprived, but at least you admit you're whipped. That's funny. This is too easy, like shooting dolts in a barrell!

Your hand does not count. Neither does Lucy, your inflatable friend. It's ok little buddy, we all go through droughts here and there. You'll get out of this funk sooner or later! I understand that you just call me whipped because you're trying to feel better about being so isolated. I forgive you.

 

[rtwngAvngr]

Your hand does not count. Neither does Lucy, your inflatable friend. It's ok little buddy, we all go through droughts here and there. You'll get out of this funk sooner or later! I understand that you just call me whipped because you're trying to feel better about being so isolated. I forgive you.

No. Really. I'm fairly active. And I don't have take up feminism to keep the supply coming. :chains:

 

[The ClayTaurus]

No. Really. I'm fairly active. And I don't have take up feminism to keep the supply coming. :chains:

Ok. Sure thing.

 

[rtwngAvngr]

Ok. Sure thing.

Keep on truckin, Little Buddy!

 

[Said1]

What, the horrible, liberal reality that is life on a modern college campus? Hey, I have to live it. I still remember the feminist groups talking about how being against abortion or thinking that raising children was a worthwhile cause made you either a chauvanistic, wife-beating asshole or a brainwashed love slave still stuck in the 50s, and that was just the stuff they said outside in broad daylight. I once had the pleasure of getting a description of one of their private meetings from a female member of the campus newspaper. All those stories about condoning castration are true.

.

Thankfully, I don't run into things like that at school, but you have my sympathies, nonetheless.

Still, sometimes you could give a little additional information, without it, I'm forced to draw my own conclusions.

 

[Hobbit]

Thankfully, I don't run into things like that at school, but you have my sympathies, nonetheless.

Still, sometimes you could give a little additional information, without it, I'm forced to draw my own conclusions.

I'll keep that in mind. I just tend to give out as little information as possible on things like this and explain after I've "tested the water." It's a bad habit I've developed while being surrounded by people who believe that women either a) will be controlling everyone and everything within the next 20 years or b) already do and that we men need to just accept that and learn to like it.

 

[Gem]

Hobbit,

I'm coming in a little late to this conversation - but as a young woman who is considering starting to try getting pregnant in the next two years or so (hubby is finishing up law school at the moment - we can only deal with so much chaos at a time, when he's a JAG - we'll think about the family stuff)....I have some thoughts to toss into the ring.

First - I was in the hospital the day after my best friend gave birth. She is a remarkably strong young woman, went natural all the way because she wanted to be coherant to experience the whole thing. She is a tough cookie, I've never heard her complain about anything - and she grabbed my arm and said, "If I have one piece of advice for you its this - have the drugs, get them as soon as you can - it hurts so bad...and I waited too long, by the time I asked for them it was too late...don't wait, its not worth the pain."

So yes...I think that although the female body is "made" for this...it still doesn't mean that it isn't an INCREDIBLY painful experience for some women.

Additionally...as a woman facing her first pregnancy in the fairly near future, there are some added stressors that getting kicked in the nuts or having knee surgery just doesn't have.

Here are some of the things I worry about when considering pregnancy...(please note that I am aware that some of these are superficial...none of them are going to stop me from getting pregnant and having children, which is something I am GREATLY looking forward to...but I am saying that all of these worries are wrapped into pregnancy and childbirth, in my opinion its not JUST the birth...but the whole experience that makes women feel like they deserve a bit more credit than "oh, yeah - well you've never been kicked in the junk):

1. I've worked hard to get my body in shape and keep it in shape. My mother gained over 40lbs. each time she was pregnant. Now I know that I will definetly try to not do what my mother did...but its nerve wracking to know that you are putting your body through something life-altering and it will most likely never be the same...imagine knowing that if you had children...you were going to have to gain a considerable amount of weight to be healthy and that it might be hard to lose.

2. Too much information alert #1: There are enough jokes about women's "tightness" after childbirth that I am occassionally a bit concerned about it....your body supposedly stretches and returns to its orginal shape, "for the most part," but again - your body isn't going to be the same again...imagine if you were faced with the knowledge that if you had children, your penis might be smaller afterwards...

3. To prevent from ripping and uncontrollable bleeding - doctors often cut the thin piece of flesh that separates a woman's vagina from her anus...now, I understand completely that i would rather have this part of my body cut neatly and cleanly then ripped apart....but to be honest, I'd rather not have that done at all!!! My cousin has told me that by the time that part comes - you are in so much pain you dont care, but this isn't exactly comforting news either. Imagine if you knew that by having a baby - a doctor would most likely be cutting your taint....oh, but he promised to sew it up neatly afterwards

4. Too much info alert #2: Since they have done away with enemas prior to birth, some women defecate while pushing through labor. Again, I've been told that by the time you get to this part you don't care...but its a bit intimidating for a woman who's never been through it to contemplate a level of pain so intense that you won't mind pooping on a total stranger in front of your husband and others.

5. As someone with a Master's Degree in Special Education, I have been well educated in the myriad of ways a baby can become mentally or physically handicapped. Although some of its genetic, some of its fate, nature, etc. Some of it is choices made by the mother while the mother is pregnant. No, I do not smoke, nor do I have any plans of drinking while pregnant - but the stress of knowing that I have such an immediate effect on the health and development of my unborn child is most certainly intimidating

So, now that I've disgusted people with way too much information, I'll try to sum up what I'm trying to say...

Most of the women I know have stated that it was incredibly painful - WORTH IT - but incredibly painful. Additionally, I think there are a million and one stressors that women go through with pregnancy above and beyond the pain of childbirth that are wrapped up in the whole experience. THIS is why I think women feel they deserve a bit more respect than having the experience related to a kick in the balls.

I do agree with you however, that I get tired of women who hold pregnancy over their spouses head like a "get out of doing whatever I don't want to do card."

I'm incredibly nervous when I contemplate being pregnant for the first time...but while I'll have to worry about everything I mentioned above, I also get to be the first person to know I'm pregnant...which means I get the joy of telling my husband - which is like having found the most perfect awesome Christmas present on the planet and watching my husband open it on Christmas morning. I get to be the one who feels the baby move for the first time, or have hiccups. I get to be the one who the baby hears first...and its my voice that the baby is going to recognize and respond to first when its born. Studies have indicated that children's brains actually respond more strongly to their mother's voice reading to them than their father's voice...(not implying that reading to your kid isn't important if youre a dad...just that the young child's brain responds to its biological mothers voice more strongly at first)....

There are so many cool aspects to being the one to get to carry the baby and give birth to it, that I wouldn't change the role of who gets pregnant if I could...which is why I think women deserve undying respect and gratitude for their sacrifices...but NOT ridiculous groveling and blackmail...because as much as women complain about childbirth, I don't think they'd want to switch places with men.

 

[krisy]

For me,labor was the really painful part. I had an epideral with both,so I can't say the the actual delivery was painful,I couldn't feel much. I have to agree with shattered about the grapefruit -watermelon thing. My big sis had natural with a couple of hers and said it was very painful. I have talked to women at work who had natural,but went so fast,they said it didn't hurt. I'm sure it does vary,but for me,labor was the worst physical pain I have ever experienced. Horrible pressure and it felt as if my stomach was going to literally explode.

As far as making men feel bad for what I have to go through,I have never done that. I consider myself lucky that I get to deliver the babies. It'a nature,I don't see why ayone should rub it in anyone elses face.