You've been warned!

ChemEngineer

Diamond Member
Feb 5, 2019
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Intended for educational purposes only. Picture identification required. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law. You have a right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, you’re just out of luck this time. Postage will be paid by addressee. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Conditions apply. Postage required if mailed outside the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool. Process promptly. Remove all valuables from parked cars. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Penalty for private use. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rocks. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Avoid contact with skin. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Cash only. Your credit is no good here and neither are your checks, especially your checks. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. This bus stops at all railroad crossings. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. Driver does not carry cash. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cat. Don't quote me on that. Don't quote me on anything. All rights reserved. You may distribute this article freely but you may not make a profit from it. Terms are subject to change without notice. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. No substitutions allowed. For a limited time only. Void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. Caveat emptor. Do not take if you are pregnant, nursing, or may become pregnant. Do not take if you have ever been pregnant or gotten somebody pregnant. Article is provided "as is" without any warranties. User assumes full responsibility. Quantities are limited while supplies last. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to repair them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. Use at your own risk. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Keep away from sunlight. Keep away from pets and small children. Limit one-per-family please. No money down. No purchase necessary. You need not be present to win. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Instructions are included. Passengers must stay behind yellow line. Action figures sold separately. No preservatives added. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sealed for your protection, do not use if safety seal is broken. Other limitations may apply. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. For external use only. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue use. Use with improper ventilation may be hazardous. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from open flames. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician. May cause any of the aforementioned effects and/or death. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Offer valid only at participating sites. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. Must be 18 years or older to use or view. Mind the gap. Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper use, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized use, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.). Author and all other related parties shall not be liable for any damages, either direct or indirect, including but not limited to lost profits, lost savings, or any other damages, either material or immaterial, arising from the use, or from the inability to use, the pages on this website. Other restrictions may apply. This supersedes all previous notices. By having read this page you agree to the above conditions. All other warnings, express or implied, apply here with full force.
 
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FREE for experimentation..........open to ALL scientific sects.
Must claim IMMEDIATELY.
You are responsible for shackling and transporting to your testing facility.
Once removed, cannot be returned for any reason.
If found unusable, please incinerate completely.




One brainless psychopathic meat puppet.
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One mummified hag, carbon dated from the Pharaonic Period.
Pickled in Vodka for over 666 years.
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One flacid, inept Banshee, full of toxic gasses.
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One toxic Kenyan, claims to be from the USA.
Full of noxious and lethal shit and fumes.
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One EXTREMELY DEADLY Gorgon. Deadly to the touch.
MUST BE KEPT SEDATED at ALL times!!
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One EXTREMELY mentally deranged psychopath.
Believes she's a black, Asian, Native American Princess.
Must be kept gagged, bound, and handcuffed at ALL times!!
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One failed experimental Human-Heyena hybrid. No threat what so ever.
Must be kept placated with black rubber, vibrating dildoes.
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An assortment of demons. Including one failed Cow-Human hybrid.
One failed Wookie-Human hybrid. Good for grinding up for animal food or
chopped up for kindling.
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An assortment of psychopathically deranged liars.
Must be kept chained and gagged at all times.
Great for bonfire fuel.
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TWO deranged, megalomaniacal, self-absorbed, violently deadly, 100% PURE evil, narcissitic foltsam.
DEADLY TOXIC TO THE TOUCH! Must wear protective clothing when handling.
MUST BE KEPT GAGGED, BOUND, BLINDFOLDED, AND IN A 4 X4 FREEZER until ready for experimentation.
May be synthisized for rocket fuel.
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