Women who don't want kids...

[dmp]

Are women who say they don't want kids lying? Defective? Honest? Scared?

Thoughts?

 

[freeandfun1]

I depends on the situation. My wife tells people she doesn't want kids. But is isn't true. She is just too old now and after about $150,000 and 10 years of trying, we have given up. She tells people she doesn't "want" them because she looks very young and she doesn't want to go over the whole story about trying as that leads to the discussion of emotions, etc.

But some really just don't want them for whatever reason. Maybe they were molested as a child and they are scared that their child will experience the same by somebody else or maybe they are just too tied up into their careers. There are too many reasons "why".

 

[dilloduck]

DANGER DANGER------YOU ARE ENTERING A ZONE THAT YOU MAY NEVER RETURN FROM !! A WOMAN"S MIND !!!

 

[dmp]

So I'm getting the sense the attitude of at least a few members of the board is something like:

"All (+/-) women DO want kids - not all 'can' have kids. The women in the +/- category would likely say they 'don't' for various reasons; even if they are lying to themselves or others"

?

 

[Moi]

Are women who say they don't want kids lying? Defective? Honest? Scared?

Thoughts?

The answer is the same to these questions as they are for men... there's no difference.

I would imagine that the answers to those questions are as numerous as there are people to answer them. Also, I bet that the answers to those questions will change throughout a person's life. What's true at 20 isn't the same as what's true at 30 or 40 or 50.

 

[Joz]

I depends on the situation. My wife tells people she doesn't want kids. But is isn't true. She is just too old now and after about $150,000 and 10 years of trying, we have given up. .......".

I'm very sorry FF. People are nosey & insensitive. This is a very personal matter. If the person isn't a close friend, which would know the reason, all your wife has to say is, "Why do you ask?" Let the uncomfortable feeling lay on the other person. Then all she has to say is that is a decision between the two of you, & doesn't feel like discussing it. She owes NO ONE an answer.

 

[freeandfun1]

I'm very sorry FF. People are nosey & insensitive. This is a very personal matter. If the person isn't a close friend, which would know the reason, all your wife has to say is, "Why do you ask?" Let the uncomfortable feeling lay on the other person. Then all she has to say is that is a decision between the two of you, & doesn't feel like discussing it. She owes NO ONE an answer.

thanks.

you know, this topic pisses me off a lot. insurance would not pay for IVF and such, nor would they pay even for the birth control pills my wife had to take during "preparation". yet the insurance company happily mailed us a brochure on their "abortion" coverage.

made me sick.

 

[Moi]

I had to go through that too. It is horrible. I used to say I couldn't and people would dig and dig until I would just be in tears. Finally I would start saying I didn't want them, it was just so much easier.

Boy would I have had a field day with those people then. Anyone who is that insensitive deserves to be put in their place...I agree with Joz...no one owes anyone an explanation of why they do or don't want kids.

 

[Joz]

Are women who say they don't want kids lying? Defective? Honest? Scared?

Thoughts?

My oldest son, after losing his brother not long ago, told me he didn't think he'd ever have children. He's been married now, 2 years, and have just announced they are pregnant after TRYING. This is big step for him. He has healed enough to want what is natural, to take the chance.

I believe WE ARE MADE to want to procreate, The sex drive is quite strong. But choosing not to have children, I agree with Moi, can have reasons innumerable. So when they say they don't want children, most likely they don't....for whatever reason. And sometimes the choice is made for us. (And I don't mean Divine intervention.)

 

[Joz]

you know, this topic pisses me off a lot.......

Me, too. Probably for different reasons.

You have 'children' getting pregnant & aborting, children are born to parents who don't really want them & never did. And here you are.....
I can't help but look around at some of these mean kids. But where is mine? He was a good boy.

 

[Annie]

Joz, I am so sorry.

 

[dmp]

The answer is the same to these questions as they are for men... there's no difference.

There is a HUGE difference. Women exist, biologically, to be mothers. Men exist, to supply women with the missing part of the puzzle. Men, by nature, aren't 'motherly'. Men, by nature fight the urge to supply as many pieces as they can to as many different women as they can.

 

[Joz]

TO: Hannitized & Kathianne

Thank you very much for your expression of sympathy.

Those 2 little words, 'I'm sorry' can mean so much to someone like me, but so many people can't/won't say them. This frightens people, so they ignore the fact.

Again, thank you.

 

[Joz]

..... Men, by nature fight the urge to supply as many pieces as they can to as many different women as they can.

Yeah, and alot of men never seem to be able to successfully curb that 'urge'.

 

[dmp]

Yeah, and alot of men never seem to be able to successfully curb that 'urge'.

Very true. I still have the urge. I don't 'act' on the urges however.

 

[Annie]

TO: Hannitized & Kathianne

Thank you very much for your expression of sympathy.

Those 2 little words, 'I'm sorry' can mean so much to someone like me, but so many people can't/won't say them. This frightens people, so they ignore the fact.

Again, thank you.

You're welcome. I think everyone feels so bad, words can't convey that type of loss, so people say nothing. But, hugs and kisses to you. Hope for you now, the healthiest and happiest grandchild!

 

[Joz]

You're welcome. I think everyone feels so bad, words can't convey that type of loss, so people say nothing. But, hugs and kisses to you. Hope for you now, the healthiest and happiest grandchild!

No, no. You see, I'm not going to be a grandmother. My son is just having a child!

 

[Annie]

No, no. You see, I'm not going to be a grandmother. My son is just having a child!

Whoops, my mistake! :funnyface

 

[Joz]

Very true. I still have the urge. I don't 'act' on the urges however.

Urge is important. And acting on them is the difference between little boys & maturity. Congratulations.

 

[brneyedgrl80]

Wow Joz, I'm sorry also.


As for me, I personally don't want children. As far as I know (according to my gyno) I'm perfectly fit and healthy to have them, but I just have never had the desire. There are way too many things I have yet to accomplish in my life where children just don't fit in. As Kathianne knows, I have cats and a husband, for me that is enough of a responsiblity.

A lot of people tell that I will change my mind, but I don't see it happening. I remember thinking that I was pregnant one time and it scared the crap out of me. It wasn't a good feeling, at least not for me. Now, my husband is going to be going to the doctor soon to look into getting a vasectomy to make sure something like that doesn't happen again.