The reason being, when I was a little boy, my grandad used to take me up into the loft and he would take down a chest he had up there. He would open the chest. Do you know what was in it? A mermaid. And he would have me stripped naked as a little boy and make love to that mermaid on the floor while he watched for his sexual gratification. Years later when the old bastard was dead, I went back up into the loft, I took down the chest, opened it up. Do you know what I found in there? A dead monkey with it's legs sewn together. You remind me of that monkey, DigitalDrifter.