There are so many factors to weigh, and each situation and relationship is different. My wife and I are a team, She is not in front of me nor behind me but right next to me, and this is how we go through life and approach all of our problems... together. That being said, my mother in law had a heart attack and my wife and son went to the hospital and I stayed behind. My mother in law loathes and hates me because I took her daughter and grandson away from her. We felt that my being there would cause more trouble than anything else, so I stayed behind to man the phones. It wasn't until a year later that she said I should have gone with her to give her support. I was a little suprised, being that we talked about it and made a decision to the contrary. I bit my tongue and apologized for not going, and told her I should have thought it through more. Sometimes a man has to take one for the team, right or wrong. I know she changed her mind, and she may have forgot she changed her mind. The arguement that would come from this dispute is not worth it, I'll take the responsibility for the wrong and maybe she'll feel better.
The Monster in law lived and is still with us, though neither of us talk to her anymore. Sorry about your dad, but your husband will understand your feelings and he'll man up and take responsibility if it helps you. That is how spouses tackle problems and help each other through things...together.
